NEW YORK--"I believe everything in this life should be satirized and skewered. Nothing is above jokes," says Chris Rock, arguably the hottest comedian in the country today.

He'll test that theory on the public when the controversial film "Dogma" opens on Friday. Rock plays 13th Apostle "Rufus" in the satire where Jesus' sister works in an abortion clinic and Alanis Morissette is God.

"I think God will laugh," Rock says, adding, "Anyway, I won't be damned for one movie. And I don't even want to go to heaven if people up there don't have a sense of humor."

Rock says his own sense of humor interfered with his learning of the gospel as a child. "My mouth got me in so much trouble that I was kicked out of Bible school. On Sunday morning, I was just joking and laughing," says Rock. "A nun finally said, `Good Lord, would someone please get him out of here. I'm losing my mind.' "

"I went home crying, `They kicked me out for laughing.' My mom wasn't even mad," Rock says with glee.

His mother preached this gospel: Thou shalt find the humor in everything. Her son keeps that faith today. So what's his version of heaven? Stand up clubs behind a cloud? Liberal use of certain swears? "Nah, I don't see the club scene up there. Too crude. I just see a lot of people laughing. That should be the rule."

Rock actually has several other self-proclaimed rules. Call them commandments that govern his new-found life as Chris Rock, Superstar.

FIRST COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT NOT DO HOOD MOVIES. Don't expect to see Rock star in "Booty Call III." He doesn't need the cash thanks to "The Chris Rock Show" on HBO and movies such as "Dogma" and the upcoming thriller "Nurse Betty" opposite Morgan Freeman. Rock also will star in "I Was Made to Love Her," a film from the Weitz brothers ("American Pie"). Woody Allen is even considering him for an upcoming movie about sportscasters.

"I'm excited because I hear he is using black people in his movies now!" marvels Rock.

SECOND COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT TURN THE OTHER CHEEK? Rock's Rufus makes his debut in "Dogma" lying butt naked, face down on a highway. "I didn't mind because it was a pretty warm day and we only did a couple of takes." Remind Rock that he is a big star now and could have demanded a butt double. Kevin Costner always does. "Yeah, but he has a 50-year-old butt and mine is only a 33-year-old butt," he says.

THIRD COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT OVERCOME YOUR PAST. All kidding aside, the comedian started at rock bottom. Born in Georgetown, S.C., he grew up in the poor section of Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn. Rock's father worked as a truck driver for the New York Daily News and his mother was a teacher.

Brooklyn is where he got his first touch of religion. "My grandfather was a preacher and I remember going to church with him. In my neighborhood, there were probably more churches per square block than any place in the world. A lot of churches and no sign of God."

FOURTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT GET OVER IT. Rock was bused from his Brooklyn neighborhood to an all-white high school in Bensonhurst. "My life was `Welcome to the Dollhouse-ish.' I would get beat up everyday, called [the `n' word] and spit on. You get used to it. I couldn't fight back. I was so outnumbered." He sighs. "It was ridiculous because I was a little little kid. I mean I'm a small guy now. Look at me.

"So, I would just stand there and take it. The worst part is that after awhile your spirit is broken. I'd go to my parents and say, `Take me out of here.' But they thought it was a better school. I guess it toughened me up. And look at me. I'm fine."

To high school kids today, he grabs the tape recorder and says, Yes, I felt alienation, but I didn't go out and kill my classmates, OK. My revenge is that I just won't be at any reunions."

FIFTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT START EARLY. Rock got his big break at age 17 when he saw a newspaper ad for open mike night at Catch a Rising Star. "I waited in line and pulled a number, a lucky seven." His material was basic. "My act was about getting pizza and waiting for my girlfriend's period to come." Wasn't he nervous as a young comic when Eddie Murphy came to see him a few nights later? "I wasn't nervous. I was just anxious," he says. "Nervous is when somebody's getting ready to whup your - - -."

SIXTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT BREAK THROUGH. When did he first feel famous? "When I did Showtime at the Apollo, I thought I was the hottest guy alive," he says. "There was no Def Comedy Jam or WB at the time. So there were no young black comedians on TV. I was like Ricky Martin 12 albums ago. But after the Apollo, I was only `ghetto famous.' People knew me all over my neighborhood." From there Rock studied the works of his heroes Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby and Woody Allen. His next stop was "Saturday Night Live" (1990-1993) and then his popular cable series "The Chris Rock Show."

"I love doing my show because it crosses over," says Rock. "I love it because when I was a kid we didn't say Rodney Dangerfield is a funny white guy. No one said Bill Cosby is a funny black guy. I hope they feel the same way about me. I just want to be a funny guy. Period."

SEVENTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT GIVE ONE'S MOUTH A REST. Do people expect Rock to be "on" all the time? Remind him that Robin Williams says that's the toughest thing of all. "It's tough for him because he is always on," Rock retorts. "He painted himself in that corner. I don't do characters. I'm always just kind of me. So I can decide if I'm going to say something funny or not."

EIGHTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT NOT TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. Rock lives simply in a small house in Brooklyn with his wife Malaak and a yippie little dog called Essence. This is where he writes "The Chris Rock Show" on yellow legal pads.

His methods? He calls his own answering machine when he thinks up a good joke. Rock says all of the above keeps him humble, "The worst part of this fame is that it's harder to walk around my neighborhood. But am I complaining? Are you nuts? Fine. Bother me in the john. I live good for a man who dropped out of school."

So why do so many celebrities whine about fame? Rock doesn't skip a beat. "They're idiots."

NINTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT NOT QUIT. Rock isn't leaving his day job for movies. "I will do `The Chris Rock' show until I'm not funny on it. I don't even want to have one bad night," Rock says.

TENTH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT NOT GET A SWELLED HEAD: He has time for one last gospel truth. "Look, I'm a guy who used to work at Red Lobster. I was a busboy because they told me I wasn't good enough to become a waiter. I know guys who still work there. There's nothing separating me from those guys--except I write a decent joke now and then," says Rock.

Distributed by Big Picture News Inc.