Story courtesy of Vishal Sharma & Jessica Murphy

BY REBECCA ASCHER-WALSH, Entertainment Weekly, in Cannes

"Well, this is it, my last day, and it's ending with a bang. I just got out of the first screening of ''Dogma'' and I loved it. I'm very sorry if Miramax doesn't release it, but some studio is going to be very, very lucky. The film is funny and smart, and I hope I won't be quoted on this in any official capacity, but I thought it was quite generous. The things that are irreverent didn't offend me in the least, and in the end, it's all about faith, if you ask me. What a wonderful way to end things, by laughing my head off.

Last night was the AMFAR dinner, which really was quite disappointing. Let's just include these little details: Dinner began at 8:30, but we weren't served our first course of asparagus until 11:50, which meant that everyone was exhausted and had consumed FAR too much champagne. The delay was due to La Liz, who couldn't be found to start the auction. When she finally got up to give her speech, the fuse in the tent blew, and we were all plunged into darkness. By the time everything was back up and running, it became clear that the usual big spenders weren't there; the people who are always draped in diamonds and busy outbidding each other must have stayed on their yachts.

Minnie Driver, who was supposed to help run the auction, was a no-show, and the biggest star-wattage was at the table beside us, which seated Harvey Weinstein and the ''Dogma'' crew: Ben Affleck, Salma Hayek looking cute in diamonds and a fluffy blue angora, Kevin Smith, and his eight-month pregnant wife, who said she's crossing her legs not to deliver here. (You see, Kevin wants their baby to be born in the same hospital in New Jersey that he was born in.) At our table, we had Anouk Aimee, who is still GORGEOUS, and Ron Silver, and quite a few diamonds, as well. Anyway, it was all a dreadful bore, if you ask me, and I wouldn't have gotten home if I hadn't thrown myself at the mercy of ''Ideal Husband'' director Oliver Parker, who was kind enough to let us squeeze into his Mercedes with his driver at the end of the night.

Much madness for nothing, much like the whole festival, although they did give out very fine Tommy Hilfiger jackets as party favors. Now I'm off to my last lunch (I repeat: LAST LAST LAST LAST) for another Miramax party, then a party tonight at which Tom Jones is performing, and I am OUT OF HERE. With love and appreciation for the wonderful joy of being able to share all my fine adventures with you."