Guest Report By Brimley

Hey guys, Brimley here with a quick word on the Stash Bash. First, I just want to say I probably *won't* be able to say how cool it all ways- everything was totally above and beyond my expectations.

I left my house in Scranton, PA around 5 o'clock. After numerous wrong turns and complete fuck ups on my part, I finally arrived in Red Bank and parked my sorry ass at the reeeally swanky Molly Pitcher Inn. There I called my friend and yours, The Marksman, for directions to the Marriott (and to confirm his graciousness- the dude let me share his room on very little notice!!) I got there and the party was swinging- I met Askewrat, Adrock, Edie (not Eddie!) & Alex, Ange, Chopper3 (big kudos to him for getting everyone food/drinks and paying for my coffee the next morning!), Fanboy, DJ Andy...and a few others whom I'm probably going to hate myself for forgetting. We chatted about the flicks, movies, ect and then I hit the hay.

The next morning I grabbed some grub with some of the afore mentioned, and including Berserker Chris and Turtle (two extremely gracious folks- hey, they put up with me for most of the tour!) and waited for the bus. The tour itself was a real blast. After boarding, Brian O'Hallraron (Dante) came aboard and he seemed pretty psyched for what lay ahead (of course this was his first tour of the day, so he probably dreaded the trip later on). Our first stop was Victory Park where the famous "fisting" scene from CHASING AMY was filmed. We all got out and looked around- apparently a scene from VULGAR was also shot there, so pay attention next time you stop by! Next stop was Poston's Funeral home (complete with funeral in progress). We all felt like dirty schmucks for being there (even though we only drove by) and even more so when Brian mentioned he was going to do that 5 other times that day. Next was the house of the Hapstacks (the parents of Ed, who played Sanford in CLERKS), who's home was the exterior of Dante's house in CLERKS. The next stop was a truly religious experience- the Quickstop and RST Video. We were all encouraged to buy stuff while there, and Brian went behind the counte for a few photo ops. Somebody got me to go through the milk jugs (like a "milk maid") but after the suggestion of going through the "shell shock" routine, I passed. We got the keys to RST and headed on over there. Nice collection of porn (guarded by Alvin the chipmunk?), and grabbing NAVY SEALS were the highlights of that. The tour ended with a drive by of the Marina Diner (who apparently wouldn't let the tours in b/c they're stuck on themselves or something).

On to the Stash: I won't go how it looked, just mainly what was going on. We all got in (after standing outside for a bit) and wandered around looking for things to purchase. Walt and Brian were there to help us out with any questions or purchases we had. Mewes was in and out, as was Jen (quite a catch you have there, Kev!). Then Joe and Jimmy showed up, and Kevin was in shortly thereafter. We were all messing around for a while, and then the video presentations began. The VULGAR teaser was hilarious- as we all know incestual homosexual gangbanging is a fertile ground for humor, so look out for this one kids (all kidding aside, it sounds like its going to be really cool.) Next was the Dogma trailer- an extended one and a faster cut 30 sec one. Both were outstanding- it truly looks epic and probably has Jay and Silent Bob's meatiest parts yet. After that was the CLERKS re-release trailer. That had me laughing more than anything else I think- lets hope this wish comes true. Then we were treated to Brian O'Halaron and Jeff Anderson's audition tapes for CLERKS (Jeff as Jay was pretty wacky). After a second viewing of the trailer, it pretty much was done.

Overall, it was a time not to be missed. I'm so grateful to Kevin and the gang for giving us the opportunity to meet and greet our fellow boarders (and those infamous board virgins) and to also commune with the Askewness full on. I think I speak for everyone when I say I am full heartedly awaiting the next Viewaskew event!