Guest Report By Edie

Well, I rose early with Alex, (my Boy) at 7:30 to get dressed in Catholic School girl "And then she unzipped her jumper" style for the whole stash gala-(Garder belts and thigh highs are a lot more complicated than they look in porno's...) and then went to breakfast with Phil, (Chopper3) Chris(Beserker Chris), Tur-uh, god I can't say her real name even though she told me how to pronounce it twice, Turtle, we had bagels down the street from The Stash. I think One of them had arsenic in it, because I had stomach cramps for 20 minutes after.

We then all waited outside the stash and applauded when Jay came to open the door. A short while later we were let into the mighty store which looked GREAT. Rows and rows of glorious comics, of course, and intersting wall hangings. Lots and Lots of neat Dogma Props, Neat Blood splattered Mooby stuff. Also on the walls and against the ceiling were the costumes worn by characters in the various movies. Silents bobs "Operation dark knight" outfit, Alyssa's "idiosyncratic routine" Jacket, and much more.

Brian O. Stolled in the door, and told Jay to "Stop hovering over the doughnuts. I know that's the only reason you were here on time."

We were then showed the Dogma trailer...AHH sweet Dogma, I think I shed a tear.

And then Some Asian Girls and a sunny Delight AD, (The tape wasn't cued, we were the first group in the stash) and then the Appropriatly vulgar "Vulgar" ad, along with the clerks bot so special edition, and the audition tapes for Clerks. Brain did a monologue from "Wait until Dark" and Jeff Anderson read the "I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight" clip for the part of Jay. Very funny indeed.

We were then led on the bus for the much talked about tour. Ours was pretty much the same as everyone elses, without Jay. Brian was more than enough for me, however, especially when he did his Krusty the clown impression. Also cute was the tiny bit of gray in his goatee. Other than that he looked just like he did in Clerks, only this time he was outfitted in an obnoxiously green sweater. He also mentioned his annoyance that the sweater he wore at the end of clerks got ruined in the death scene.

Edie & Brian. Courtesy Edie

When we got to the Q&A, people asked questions like, "When's your birthday?" (December 20th, 1969, to which he responded, "Yeah, great year, 69.." and told an amusing anecdote about how all his life he has been plagued by the "here's your birthday and your christmas present all in one!" factor.") I also noticed that he still had on the irish Callagah(sp? god, I'M irish, I should know this..) ring that he wore in clerks, he said he wears it in all his films.

I then asked the question I got flamed for, "Okay, if YOU as Brian could choose, Caitlin or Veronica?" To which he replied, "Caitlin" and I sighed. "What's that for?" he responded, "You asked me to answer it! LOOK AT HER! I COULD SPEND AN HOUR LOOKING AT HER LEGS ALONE!" and I replied, "But her face isn't as pretty, " Which set me up for the, "I wasn't looking at her face" response.

I also asked him if he had a girlfriend, which he answered with, "Hey, Don't you have your boyfriend right there?" teasingly. After a little back and forth he revealed he has a girlfriend indeed who he has been dating for FIVE YEARS! Wow, congrats...

All in all, a GREAT day. The stash and the tour far exceeded my high expectations, and most of the fans in attendence were nice and fun to be around.

I am still glowing.

Edie, Catholic SchoolGirl Extrodinaire