THE PRE-INTRODUCTION-INTRODUCTION DISCLAIMER:

I just got home from the Thon and decided to write everything I did down, I have only slept like 5 or so hours since Sunday, I didn't take any notes or shit during the event, and am to fucking lazy to proof read it, so if it sucks now...it probably won't be looking much better when I am 100% awake. I am thinking of making a little website with my pictures and this, but until then. Enjoy

THE PRE-INTRODUCTION-INTRODUCTION:

Following this message there will be a "Pre-Introduction", in it you will find out a little bit of information about the actually "Introduction" and the recap itself. Enjoy!

THE PRE-INTRODUCTION:

Following this message you will be reading the introduction. But before you go that far ahead I would first like to say if you are a fan of mediocre writing skills, and don't want to know actual answers to actual questions of the Q&A sessions, then by all means, stay and enjoy yourself. However if you are not a fan of said things, I advice you to leave now as your kind isn't wanted in the first place. I mean Christ.. I'm the fucking lee world guy..

THE INTRODUCTION:

Following this message you will be reading the actual recap, but first here is this; When you go to a Vulgarthon you soon learn three things right off: 1) You won't go 3 seconds without hearing the word "Fuck", this is a good thing. 2) The alcohol is always flowing, also a good thing, and 3) If you want the true V-Thon experience live the days on no more than 3 hours a night.

The actually "Thon" is only half the fun.

And with that I que my fucked up adventure.

SATURDAY:

Me and my buddy Hans decide last minute to come a night early as to beat the possible snow storm, so we pack all are shit really quick and head out on the road at about noon. The drive was good and we didn't get lost at all. (On a side note, right when we crossed the border into Jersey we stopped a the first rest area to piss, and there wasn't even a tiny building we could piss in, it was just a parking lot on the side of the interstate. What the fucks with that?)

We arrive in Red Bank at around 6ish and the first thing we noticed as we got off the interstate is that Jersey roads are fucking GAY. What's with that left turn shit? Anyway, we find Broad Street after asking the 7-11 dude then look for a parking spot. Oddly enough we parked right behind Jacks Music Shoppe, which was pretty cool.

So we are walking to the front door of the Stash right as Walt is locking the door, we figured since were just closing up that he might let us in just to pick up are tickets. Sure enough, we knocked and he showed us to the back were Lynch and Vincent were handing out tickets. We picked are tickets, thanked Walt for letting us in, and walked out.

Since we didn't have a room for the Inn until Sunday night we decided just to sleep at the Red Roof Inn for the night. We checked in with no problems at 'The Roof', at that time I guess it was 7ish. We decide to hike over to Morgan's at 'The Inn' to see if anyone was around and to catch a bite to eat. We meet a few folks who were at the bar (are underage asses couldn't actually go up to the bar) and talked to them for a while, ate are food, hung out for a few, and still didn't see much people around so we decided just to go back to the room for the night at around 8:30 and see if any good movies were on pay-per-view. Hans wanted to watch "Rush Hour 2" and I was too tired to argue with him so we just watched the gay movie, and fell asleep at around Mid-Night.

SUNAY:

We woke up at around 10, checked out of "The Roof", ate some breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, and at around 11:30 we decided to head over to the Stash to pick up are buttons (since we couldn't get them Saturday night, the girls taking the money had left). When inside we see a line has already been formed to pick up tickets and or buttons, we get in said line and wait for Vince to arrive. While waiting I noticed Ming walk in so I decided to introduce myself in person to him and we chatted for a few minutes. After talking with Ming the line started the move and eventually we picked up are buttons and decided to get some shopping out of the way. I picked up the Berserker Long Sleeve shirt, the Brodie Shirt, the Vulgar poster, the Jay and Silent Bob Ass poster, and finally I got a Buddy Christ dash statue for my mom.

While checking out we asked Walt for directions to the Quick Stop and RST, and decided to go to the "World Famous Leonardo". After about a 15-minute drive we make it to the stores and partake in the obvious fan-boy tradition of taking pictures of ourselves in front of them. We make are way inside the Quick Stop first, and we each buy a soda. As we are checking out I noticed the Kevin Smith articles on the wall and snap a quick picture of them, as I was doing show these 13 year old kids who were acting afool asked me what the hell I was taking a picture of. I then replied with "Come on kid, don't you know where the fuck you are, go one store over and rent Clerks". I think I kind of scared them so I told then I was just kidding but that they should rent Clerks, but not before telling him to ask him mom first.

Next, we headed over to RST just to take a quick look inside. Hans asked the guy behind the desk a question about filming in there and all he replied with was "I don't know" but in a Randal-esque way, it was just we dubbed him the Indian Randal.

After the stores we make the quick back drive to Red Bank and as we were entering the town we noticed that there was a pool hall, so we decided to play a quick game. After kicking Hans' ass we walk across the street to some shitty Chinese restaurant (I think my left-overs are still in the hotel room) and grab some lunch. At this time it was about 2:30 so we decide to head over to 'The Inn' to 'Check In'. Since both Hans and myself are 21 we were kind of worried about getting shit about checking in, but it was actually no problem at all (Thanks a lot to Len for all the strings you had to pull for us all us fuck-heads who are underage). We head up to the room, and since Hans hadn't seen "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" yet he was hell-bent on catching it the room. So again, while being in no mood to argue, we ordered the flick.

It ended at around 6 and we figured then would be a good time to check out the lobby to see if anything was going on. When we make it down we don't see much people around so we decide to just chill in the nice lobby. It was then that we meet Smalls and Sean. I also meet some guys you'll here about later in the story, Patrick, Anthony, and Karl. So we all talk for about 45 minutes, and Smalls tells us he is waiting on a group of folks to go down to dinner. His group eventually comes down, and amongst the folks are DJ Andy, Ben Toads, Len The Marksman, and a few other board regs and riders.

After a while those guys head to dinner and we decided we were pretty hungry as well. So we head over to Morgan's again and grab a bite with Patrick and Anthony from before. After we ate it was around 8:45 and all the football goons were dwindling out so the four of us decided to grab a table in the bar and meet more folks. Karl from the lobby also joined us at the bar. Before, while in the lobby, Mike had told us that the Harley's party was going to start at around 9, so when we all notice what time it is, we leave the bar and head over to Harley's.

We could see a small group of people gathered around the area so the 5 of us head in and grab a seat. For those day oners that didn't go to Harley's Sunday night, you fucking missed out. Amongst the best films shown at it were, 'Beer University' ("Make like a dick sucking machine...... and suck my dick"), 'DJ Andy's Drunken Shorts' (As I remember Chin 3 wanted to be a rapper, Chin 1 wanted to be a whore, and Chin 2 didn't want much of anything), and the short Smalls acted in entitled "Abracadaver" ("SCIENCE HAS FAILED ME!"). All in all, I think everyone had a blast at Harley's, and it also gave me a chance to meet more cool people. During Harley's the five of us (Me, Hans, Karl, Pat, and Anthony) decide we'll all carpool down to the Thon in Han's car in the morning.

Before everyone left Harley's at around 1 am Jenn(ifer_Ann_7) got up on a chair and screamed "Party at 509". So me and Karl decide we'll hit the party while we are chatting it up outside of Harley's, and that is when we meet 3 cool motherfuckers from Cali who called themselves Jason, Chad, and Lunch Box. We tell them about 509 and we all walk over to the elevators. Now when the six of us (Hans decided to come last minute) walked over to the elevator we saw about 15 people already in it (Chad went to go get Jason who was talking to some chick, and Hans went.somewhere.before we got on the elevator). Anyway me, Karl, and Lunch Box decided to get in assuming those guys were behind us. After got in, about 8 more people did, I swear the elevator had at least 25-30 people in it when it was all said and done.

After the packed ride Lunch Box and myself decide to make a quick stop to my room so we can get a nice pre-party buzz. Somehow Hans had beat us to the room, and after about 20 minutes we headed up to 509. Before I walked in I was expected a lot of people, but Christ, this suite was jammed with people. I meet a few more folks in the party, had a few drinks, and had an all around great time but because of all these gay complaints from old people (ROOM 510) the party kinda died down pretty early so we left at around 3-3:30 and decide we might as well try to get a few hours of sleep tonight since we had to wake up at 6:45 the next morning. We got up to the room, Hans read his new 'Bluntman and Chronic' book and I watched a little tube, I guess we eventually went to bed at around 4.

MONDAY:

6:45 a.m. RING RING RING RING RING RING RING. God damn wake-up call was a bit louder than expected. I try to wake Hans' lazy ass up but he won't budge so I just turn on all the lights, open the curtains, and hop in the shower. After I get out, Hans is still out so I just start pushing him until he gets up. He jumps into the shower too and about 30 minutes later he comes out. We leave the room a few minutes behind schedule, since we had planned to meet with Anthony, Pat, and Karl at 7:30, so we had to rush down real quick to meet up with them.

We get down there, meet with the guys, pile in Hans' Accord, I decide to drive, and we head on over to Dunkin Donuts again for a quick breakfast. We all order are food, sit and chat for a few minutes, don't really know what if anything to expect because it was all are first time going to any View Askew event. At around 8 we all pile in Hans' Accord again and make are way to Clearview Cinemas to get in line. No 10-hour spots are available so we decide to just get a 3-hour spot and feed the meter every so often. We get a pretty decent spot in line behind DJ Andy. We chatted for a few minutes, one thing that sticks out is when he had heard some dude got arrested with like a pound of weed at the hotel the previous night, and that he figured it was me. About that time Kevin started letting folks in the theatre. Hans and I of course got the picture with him on the way in, and then made are way to Theatre 1. We all 5 find a seat a few rows behind the middle door and just chill until the show starts.

VULGARTHON:

Kevin comes on stage at around 10:15ish and introduces himself and all the View Askew Celebrities we have come to know and love. Bryan Johnson, Brian Lynch, Brian O'Halloran(sp?), Vincent, and the big surprise, Jeff Anderson all come up on stage. At one point Kevin told us which pictures were playing besides Vulgar and BHD, we are all pretty surprised when he announces Jeff's flick "Now You Know" (which I thought wasn't even done being edited yet) was going to be playing.

So after all the introductions/announcements, Kevin introduces Bryan Johnson back to the front.or something like that, and he introduced "Vulgar".

"Vulgar": (My Thoughts on the flick) I expected this flick to be great and I was not let down. O'Halloran was excellent, the script was amazing, the acting by all the supporting cast was outstanding (save the lady who played Brian's mom, I'm going to have to agree with Len on this one, she was a bit of an over-actress) and it was just an all around really good flick.

(My Thoughts on the Q&A) This Q&A was really cool, both Bryan and Brian were being very funny. I asked two questions during the entire Thon, the first one was to Johnson when I asked what the main differences between his original draft, which was said to be much more "vulgar", and his shooting draft. And I think I forgot the answer.he might have said something about just scenes that weren't necessary for the story or something. Anyway, a few more questions were asked but, the only thing that really sticks out in my mind about that Q&A was when Marksman tried his hand at "constructive criticism".

"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" (My thoughts on the movie) I've seen in many times in theatres and again the night before the show.. so I wasn't really watching the movie. I smoked a few cigarettes outside and explored around the theatre. I came back for the second half of the movie and took a short nap.

(The Deleted Scenes/Q&A) The deleted scenes/outtakes shit was pretty fuckin' funny, that Ass-Cock shit was fucking comic gold. As far at the Q&A goes, didn't learn anything that was all that new. Kevin told us what the plot of the original VA5 script was which sounded really cool. He told us the story of the Daredevil/Jersey Girl/Ben Affleck soap opera thing. I remember Kevin saying how it was working with Shannon Daugherty again. But aside from that, no big news or anything.

BREAKTIME:

After the J&SBSB Deleted Scenes/Q&A stuff we had lunch from 4-6. Some folks stayed to watch the Dogma Doc. I decided to just wait till it's released on the Vulgar DVD, at least I think they said it'd be on that disc. So the 5 of us headed over to the Dominos and decided to split the cost of a couple of pizzas. We got are grub and ate in this small little lobby inside the theatre. After the food is when I meet a few more folks I chat with on the board (BrodieGod), and said a quick hello to Brad and Chris and introduced myself as the Lee World Guy. After that not much went on and we just took are seats again and waited for the show to start up again. Oh yea I forgot, O'Halloran was out in the lobby and I managed to get his autograph and told him about Linklater's new flick "Waking Life" with some other chick, yeah.that was pretty cool.

"Now You Know"

(My Thoughts on the flick) This movie was really fucking good. I didn't know much about the flick before seeing it, which was good because I had no idea what to expect. But the script was fucking great. The entire cast was incredible, especially that Biscuit kid, that part was fucking genius, he was like Randal Graves, Brodie Bruce, and Bankey Edwards all mixed together but also on crack. And the fact that we were seeing like the WORLD premier for the movie, it was like the casts first time seeing it and everything, that was really cool in itself. But I defiantly hope that when this film is completely done that it gets distributed because it defiantly has the potential. Good luck Jeff.

(My thoughts on the Q&A) Jeff Anderson is just a really nice guy. He answered a ton of questions, even took a little abuse there in the beginning, but was really cool about it all. He told a lot of stories about the soundtrack, like how he became friends with the lead singer from Matchbox 20, and how he was actually going to be in the movie. Jeff tells some other stories that I like.don't remember really.but I think they were good.I'll ask Hans. Anyway the movie ruled, that was good enough for me.

IN BETWEEN "NYK" and "BHD"

After 'Now You Know" ended Karl and I went out front to have a cigg. At this time I think it was during the beginning of the Q&A.or something. Anyway there weren't many people out, and Karl and I were talking about the movie, and I turn to the left to ask this stranger what he thought of it and it turned out to be 'Vulgar's' Bryan Johnson himself. We didn't really talk with him long but I gave him props his flick.

'Big Helium Dog"

(my thoughts on the flick) This was some fucking funny shit.

(my thoughts on the Q&A) I thought this was the better of all the Q&A's during the day. Brian told us this really funny story about the Muppets that he told us not to tell anyone because he signed some contract or some shit. But it was funny nonetheless.

'Angry Naked Pat'

After 'BHD" Brian showed us an episode from 'Angry Naked Pat', he showed one at the end of Harley's last night and I thought it was genius, so we all decided to stick around and watch the Monkey Man episode. It was great shit.really funny stuff. Before or after.can't remember, Brian said something about the episodes being released on DVD by the guys who put out "A Better Place" on DVD, so that sounds really fucking cool, that is something I will defiantly get.

THE SHOW IS OVER BUT THE NIGHT HAS JUST BEGUN

So the show ended at like 10:30 I guess it was, don't really remember. Anyway we all piled into the car again and made the quick drive to Memory Lanes for the Pre-After-Party-But-Kind-of-Offical-After-Party-Type-Deal. When we got there it was already starting to get a bit crowded and most of the people hadn't even come yet, so I assume most of those dudes and broads were Day 2ers. Anyway, I spent a lot of the time talking with Karl, Hans, Pat, and Anthony but I also chatted with Ming, Jenn(ifer_Ann_7), BrodieGod, Smalls, Hal, and I ran into those Cali boys again. But the main reason I went to the Alley party was to get news on the room parties later in the night.

While talking with Ming and Jenn we found out that there would in-fact be another 509 party later on in the night. So after talking with Karl we decide we'll leave the alley party at about 1:30 so we can beat the traffic and get ready for the parties later.

Before I finish talking about the alley party I will mention a few other things I did/saw. Some dude was filming other dudes in the bathroom for some chick, which I thought was pretty funny. Andy stuck his face in some chicks tits, twice no less, which I also found pretty humorous. I was talking to Brian Lynch about his hatred of "Saved By the Bell", seeing as how I think the show is an American Classic, and he does not. Oh and I also got to meet more askew 'celebs' and get pictures and autographs and shit, that was pretty dope.

THE POST- PRE-AFTER-PARTY-BUT-KIND-OF-OFFICAL-AFTER-PARTY-TYPE-DEAL-PRE-PARTY

On our way back Hans decided he wasn't going to be going to any after-parties at the hotel that night because he was just too tired. Karl was up to going so we decided to wait about a half-an-hour in are rooms and I would call his room then and we'd meet at the party. I decide to catch a quick pre-party buzz, then I walk around the hotel for a bit, then I walk around the hotel for a bit. As I was walking around the hotel I got into a really crowded elevator. Now I had experienced this the night before no problem, but this time most the guys on the elevator were already drunk, and this turned out to be a fun time. Anyway, on our way up to the second floor, this dude starts jumping up-and-down for like a minute, and all the sudden the elevator stops moving. So for like 5 minutes 20 drunk people in an elevator are trying to figure out how to get an elevator to move again. Eventually, it moved, but oddly enough it took us back down to the first floor. About 5 people got off, but I decided to stay in just so I could get back to my room. I made it back to the room, Hans was already asleep, and I gay Karl a quick call and went up to 509.

Karl and I meet in the elevator on the way up, walked to the party. When we got to the door, some big dude asked me where I had heard about the party from, I said Jenn, he let us in, and we found that it was very crowded. We walked in, smoked a cigg, and didn't see much alcohol around. Soon I noticed the Cali boys: Chad, Jason, and Lunch Box (Leland, I finally remember his real name, Leland). After talking to them we all decide to go back to my room for a few and catch a quick buzz. They also brought this talkative, yet hot, chick with them, who's name I forget. So we get back to my room, and all the sudden the chick see's Hans sleeping so she starts singing and rubbing him and shit. Then she like straddles him and he is defiantly up (in more ways then one) then. With that Han's decides to get up and come with us. I lend Jason and Leland something and they run to there room real quick promising to return to 509 later. So Hans, Chad, the chick, and me are all getting on the elevator to go back to 509 when we hear about another party going on in room 142. We decide to check that party out before 509 so we went to the first floor. When we all got to 142 I meet Randall (Somber) who was really fucking cool. We all went to there bathroom and got some Miller Pounders, I called a social, and all of the 12 or so people in the room started chugging away. When we all finish are beers, me Randall and Hans decide to head up to 509. I needed to find Leland with that thing I let him borrow, and we wanted to meet a few more folks. When we walked into 509 we noticed that it was just as crowded as before, and started talking to some folks. After about 5 minutes the phone rang and everyone got tired. Some dude, I forget who, picked up the phone and said it was another complaint from the 510 guy. He said that the hotel was going to call the cops if another complaint was made and that if anyone under 21 was in the room the cops would card you and arrest you on site. Me and Hans decided then it was a good idea to leave that party at that time so Me, Hans, and Randall all go out in the hall.

Out in the hall I was still waiting for those dudes from Cali, but they hadn't shown up yet. So I started talking to more folks, it was then that I also meet Chris(C_Bone) who is a guy I talk to quite a bit in the chat room. We chatted for a little while, I remembered we were joking around with Randall about not having an underscore in are names on are name-tags, I believe we referred to it as our "trademark". Chris was also picking on my favorite beer again (Busch Pounders) but this time in person. After a while waiting in the hall Andy and Misanthrope came out. Andy looked really fucking shit-faced and we chatted for a little while. I remember him making fun of the fact my cigarettes (Newports, only menthol they were selling at memory lanes) were "ghetto". After a while Randall went back down to 142, and Hans went back to bed, but I decided to wait a little while longer for Chad and Leland to come back. While I was waiting I remember some guy throwing a dude out of 509 because he was too drunk, that dude looked pretty drunk and really embarrassed, he tried to get back in but they just pushed him out again. Anyway after about 10 minutes I too got tired of waiting and went back down to 142. Most of the same people were down there, so I talked with Randall and a few other people for a little while longer. At this time it must have been around 3:45 or so. Eventually Randall left but I decided to chill for a little while longer and drink some more beers. Chad came back to 142 and we chilled for a while. Another 10 to 20 minutes passed and me and Chad decided to run over to 'The Roof' to see if Jason and Leland were in their rooms. We got to their room and saw that they were chilling out and getting baked. We decided to join them for a while and the time was exactly 4:20 then, so that was cool. At about 4:30 I decided to head back over to 142 at the Inn to see if anything was going on there still. I got back to the Inn with no problems but it looked like the party at 142 was dead, but then I heard noise in room 143 so I decided to knock on the door and see if anyone was over there. They let me in and there was a pretty cool party over there. The people I remember from there was Marius, Illusion6, Mo'Facky, and that crazy brit Glen. We all chilled and spoke for a bit. Mo'Facky and his buddy whose name I forgot, said they enjoyed my site a lot, which I thought was pretty cool. At about 5:15 or so I decide to call it a night and hit the sack.

As I head back to my room I pass some cops, earlier in the night I heard that the cops actually did show up at 509, but that they didn't card anyone, but the party did seemed to be dead when I checked it out before I went to the roof. Anyway, I just tried to place it cool when I walked by them as I was very underage and very drunk. So I made it to my room fine, Hans who I hadn't seen in hours was passed out in bed with his hat still on. I hit the pisser then I finally hit the sack at around 5:30 or so.

TUESDAY

Tuesday sucked balls. Hans woke me up at around 9:30 and I had quite the hangover. We got are shit together, cleaned the room a little bit, and checked out of the hotel at about 10. We decided to go to the stash before are trip home and as we were walking by the line of day 2ers we ran into Jason, Chad, and Leland again. We said are goodbyes after chatting for a bit, and Hans and I then headed to the Stash one last time. I picked up a Clerks bumper sticker then we left and drove to are shitty home with memories of days past.

Fin

Some quick shout outs to people I meet on my excellent adventure:

Karl: You are the fucking man, I had a blast hanging out with you at Harley's and the Thon.

Pat & Anthony: Anthony, it was great chilling with you those couple of days, Pat, likewise, I'll email you fellas soon.

Chad, Jason, and Leland: You three are some of the coolest dudes I have ever partied with, it was great chilling with you three. Ming: As nice in person as you are online. It was really cool to meet you in person.

Randall(Somber): You are one cool motherfucker, glad I got to meet you, and thanks for all the hard work on the buttons. And yea, we should chill sometime.

Andy: You're a funny dude, and even funnier drunk.

BrodieGod: Since we talk a bit in the chat room, it was cool to be able to meet you, nice talking to yah.

Chris(C_Bone): Also talk quite a bit in the chat, I had fun joking around with you outside of 509.

Mike(Smalls): It was nice talking to you in the lobby on Sunday night, and also at the Alley party. Also great job in Abracadaver.

Hal: Nice chatting with you.

Glen: You're a cool little man. And you remember a lot of shit (The IMDB/Derris thing was a long time ago).

Mo'Facky: It was cool talking about Tango's board, and thanks for checking out my site.

Marius: Didn't expect to meet you at all, but it was cool nonetheless. And everyone else I forgot, I'm sure you were cool, I'm was just too drunk to remember you.