“Between this film (“Hellboy”) — watching Kevin Smith’s JERSEY GIRL and LOVE ME IF YOU DARE… well… I’ve had a great 24 hours of film. I’ll get into it when I get the time …”

Well, he said it was great. That’s gotta count for something.

Jersey Girl definitely has gossip value, seeing as BEN AFFLECK’s character learns to live again after his relationship with JENNIFER LOPEZ ends sadly. And trendwise, it’s of interest because it’s the second recent flick (Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen being the other) about a move from NYC to New Jersey, though in this one, the Garden State provides revivification, not spiritual death. Otherwise, it’s pretty synthetic stuff, with lots of characters walking in at just the wrong moment and people rejecting life in the fast lane the way no one within a mile of this project would ever imagine doing. Still, anything that climaxes with a six-year-old doing a musical number from Sweeney Todd deserves some respect.

At the premiere, director KEVIN SMITH said he’s desperate to change the film’s title to The Passion of the Jersey Christ. When he also cracked that they would hold the screening until J.Lo got there, Affleck squirmed, then laughed and said, “Thanks. Friends like these, folks!” Most fascinatingly of all, Affleck groveled before HARVEY WEINSTEIN, who in turn compared the Smith-Affleck team to SCORSESE and DE NIRO. But the mogul also helpfully described his boys’ complex relationship. (“Say the lines the way I wrote them.” “Of course, I won the Oscar for Good Will Hunting.”) And then I grabbed the gift bag and headed back home to Rahway. Kidding. M.M.

“It’s really a far cry from ‘Armageddon,'” he says. “There’s no giant rock hurtling toward the earth, no sticking animal crackers down [Liv’s] pants. This was a more developed story in terms of my relationship with her character. We’ve known each other for a long, long time, so it was very easy and comforting. There was no awkwardness.”

Jacko: I wanna be a car

MICHAEL Jackson wanted to make a Hollywood movie in which he turned into a CAR so a young boy could drive him around.

The pop star sent his script to top film director Kevin Smith, who rejected it for being “the weirdest thing” he’d ever read.

Smith, 33, – whose latest movie Jersey Girl stars Ben Affleck – said: “It was about Michael Jackson morphing in to a car – no lie.

“Jackson was behind it. He wanted it to be a story about a guy, played by himself, who hangs out with a little boy.

“This boy goes into the car and drives around.”

Jackson, 45, later tried to get other Hollywood directors interested without success.

Smith said: “In retrospect, I’d love to make it.

“But it wouldn’t be anything like the version Jackson wanted to see.”

‘Jersey Girl’ shows growth in characters, director

A surprise to many viewers, ‘Jersey Girl’ delivers a coming-of-age story, sure to restore your faith in Ben Affleck and become a valid addition to any DVD collection.

Growing up isn’t easy to do. While it’s been rough for Kevin Smith, he’s finally made it to a point where serious meets light-heartedness and crudeness becomes the rough edges of everyday life.

“Jersey Girl” could be considered the coming-of-age film of Smith’s career, going back to his “Chasing Amy” roots where serious and dramatic topics can still entertain audiences, and offer chances for laughs. While life lessons can turn a crowd quickly, Smith is still able to impart to his audiences something they take home with them without feeling force fed.

The eternal love story takes yet another twist in “Jersey Girl.” Ollie Trinke (Ben Affleck) thought his job was the most important thing in life. Being the youngest “flack” to ever head a department in his public relations firm, Trinke is the pinnacle of spin doctoring and proud of it. Even a workaholic has to take a break, and when that happens he falls in love.

Enter Gertrude Steiney (Jennifer Lopez), the love of Ollie’s life and who he spends the night hours within New York City, one of Ollie’s two categories of life.

Happiness appears to abound for the New York power couple until it seems Ollie’s career could interfere with the picturesque family life Gertrude wants, and, since she wants it, Ollie wants it, too. Differences are worked out until things take another step toward the worse when Gertrude dies giving birth to the couple’s daughter, Gertie (Raquel Castro).

Ollie soon learns that life is hard when he loses his dream job because of one explosive dealing with the press, Ollie trashes his client and learns that home, the New Jersey category of life, is where the heart is. After moving back home to his widowed father’s house, Pops (George Carlin) helps Ollie realize there is more to life and helps him find it right there in New Jersey.

Raising a child as a single parent is one thing, but falling back in love after seven years of mourning is another. When Ollie meets a quick-witted and invasive grad student working part time at the video store, perspective changes once again for him. Falling for Maya (Liv Tyler) while trying to get back into the PR business is when all Ollie has learned is put to the test.

Although the whole Benifer thing was overblown and overplayed, the ambiguously together-as-one duo does play a picturesque and overly sweet, perfect couple. Jennifer Lopez gives a Meg Ryan-like performance in her short-lived role in this picture. Only around long enough to fall in love and have a baby, J-Lo dies within the first 15 minutes of the movie, which, had the scene not been so dramatic, would have drawn cheers from the audience.

Ben Affleck gives a performance that makes up for such films as “Dare Devil” and “Pearl Harbor.” While he may be considered to be too much of a hunk to play the role of a loving and caring father, he does give merit to a role that could have easily become a long-running stereotype. While many worried about another spin-off of “Gigli,” this film certainly knows how to avoid the pitfalls of expectations and audience intelligence.

Liv Tyler does well too in her role sans pointed elf ears. Her beauty on screen is captivating and the personality of her character makes it hard for all the guys in the audience not to fall in love with her. Playing the ideal woman cannot be easy, and so a lot of praise must go her way for this film.

George Carlin plays a significantly sized role in this film, which, by far, overshadows any of his previous appearances on the silver screen. Supplying most of the comic relief, Carlin still manages to play his character with such authenticity and conviction that he makes audiences believe he really is a grandfather. This role was created for Carlin to play. Bypassing his typically short, often crude, cameos, he was able to prove his worth as an actor, rather than an iconic comedian appearing on screen for the sake of the film having his name in the credits.

Raquel Castro played a perfect character, giving a performance rivaling any other one could expect from a child star. Her delivery and understanding of the material transfers well, and Castro comes off as a child we’d all want, but wouldn’t want to raise by ourselves.

Of course, not to discredit all of Smith’s previous film classics, Jason Lee and Matt Damon make quick cameo appearances as PR executives at one of Ollie’s many interviews. Just seeing Lee in a role where you know his subtle meanness and toothy evil grin will appear make that minute or so of the film worth the ticket price. Will Smith has a cameo, imparting the idealistic wisdom that other dramatic Smith films have, although usually delivered by Silent Bob.

Jason Biggs plays a befuddled and quaking assistant living in Ollie’s shadow. While Biggs rarely has more expression than a museum portrait, this role could be a springboard for Biggs and might help people forget what he did to that in that “you know, that one movie he’s in, with Nadia.”

Playing supporting roles, but ones that help extend the comic relief of Carlin and prolong the senses and feelings of a New Jersey borough, Stephen Root and Mike Starr play Greenie and Block, Gertie’s two uncles who Ollie says “aren’t your real uncles. They barely qualify as your peers.”

Kevin Smith fans might be disappointed to learn that Jay and Silent Bob are, as it seems, officially retired as promised. But it almost would have been a sin to include them in this film, making it too corny and pushed to have them just for continuity’s sake. The film was better off with Smith behind the camera doing what he does best — writing and directing.

The cast really comes together to deliver a surprising performance as a whole. Carlin especially will surprise you with his grandfatherly delivery and job as an on-screen surrogate parent. The cohesion of the actors and their performances make “Jersey Girl” a top runner for being one of Smith’s best films to date. While it will be hard to oust the others, seeing this film twice, or more, certainly wouldn’t hurt making that decision.

Smith’s latest film is a tale of growing up, but not necessarily from the point of view of a 6-year-old Jersey girl. With sort of a “when life hands you lemons …” motif, Smith still manages to entertain by having his characters develop fully within the story without pushing a fairy tale ending down your throat. All of the characters come full circle and are better for the experiences they had throughout the film, and so does the audience. If you examine his previous films, “Jersey Girl” isn’t typical Kevin Smith fair. This is more reminiscent of the life-lessons-learned quality that earned “Chasing Amy” so much acclaim.

When this film does hit DVD, it will join the rest of its family on my shelf, right next to “Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back,” “Dogma,” “Chasing Amy,” “Mallrats” and “Clerks.” It just shows once again how life has its ups and downs and how sometimes growing up is a back and forth process.

‘Green Day’

Cameras will roll on the highly anticipated Green Hornet movie before Christmas, and it will be a Universal release for summer 1996, according to Dark Horse Executive Vice President of Entertainment Todd Moyer.

“We’re going out to directors right now and will be making the movie before the end of the year,” declared Moyer from the set of another Dark Horse comic film in progress, Barb Wire. “The next step is to start a rewrite [by script writer Rich Wilkes] and get this show on the road.”

Moyer promised a reinvented Green Hornet mythos that “won’t come out as a rip-off of Batman.”

“We’ll be playing up the whole East-West duality of Green Hornet and Kato. We’ve take the Britt Reid character and turned him into a real hard-boiled type. He’ll be balls to the wall; swinging across cables and shooting guns. Kato will be a much stronger character who will be well-versed in the mystical Chinese arts. Fireballs will fly out of his hands, and we’ll have a scene where Kato runs across the tops of moving cars. The idea is to have a lot of fun with this.”

Guess he really isn’t up for moonlighting anymore. That’s why Bruce Willis didn’t even return director Kevin Smith’s phone calls when it came to making a cameo in “Jersey Girl.”

Smith needed an A-list star to play himself — and part of the plot includes a publicist played by Ben Affleck saying something about him that isn’t very nice.

Smith first went to Willis figuring that he’s a Jersey guy at heart still. “Originally, I wrote the role for Bruce Willis, and offered it to him, but there was only one problem. I never heard back from Bruce Willis.

“So, I said to Ben, ‘Why don’t you try to contact Willis.’ Ben was like, ‘I can because I know him because we [starred together in] ‘Armageddon.’ ”

But even Ben couldn’t get through. “Bruce didn’t call him back either,” Smith marvels. Finally, one month shy of filming, Smith offered the role to Will Smith.

“It worked because Will was the Fresh Prince and rapping. …And he was in ‘Bad Boy,’ but I always knew him as DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince,” Smith said.

Best Movie Performance By a Municipality?

by Robert Strauss

Paulsboro turned out for the New Jersey premiere of “Jersey Girl.” Kevin Smith, left, with Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck while filming the movie in town in 2002. In the film, Paulsboro plays Highlands, where Mr. Smith grew up.

PAULSBORO – The cheers were loud for the star of the film at last Wednesday’s premiere here of “Jersey Girl.”

But for the 700 or so people jammed into the Paulsboro High School auditorium, where the film was shown, that star was not Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Liv Tyler or George Carlin, whose names will appear in reviews when the movie opens on Friday.

Instead, the cheers were for Paulsboro itself — Fiorile’s Bar, Borough Hall, even the auditorium in which the audience was sitting — and the surrounding area. Those sites provided the primary backdrop for “Jersey Girl,” which was filmed here for several weeks in 2002.

Kevin Smith, the 33-year-old writer and director of the film, and a native of Monmouth County, promised he would bring a premiere of the movie to Paulsboro, a tough South Jersey refinery town of 3,400, known mostly for its winning high school wrestling and football teams. After the star-studded New York premiere last Tuesday night, he made good on his promise. The event was a benefit for the local Boys and Girls Clubs, which Mayor John Burzichelli said colleted $25,000.

After the film was shown, Mr. Smith took to the auditorium stage to heap praise on the residents, who cheered every quip he made.

“Does Paulsboro love me in the Biblical sense?” Mr. Smith asked. “I’ll bet I could have any woman in this room.” Mr. Smith is known for his salty speech, some of which gets in the movie, making an otherwise sweet story into a PG-13-rated film.

“Everyone was so cooperative here,” he added. “I think if I went up to Mayor Burzichelli and said, ‘I’m going to need to blow up four square blocks with napalm,’ “he would have said, ‘Sure, whatever you want.’ ”

Mr. Smith said he thought the New Your premiere crowd especially like the Paulsboro scenes. “It’s nice if you can melt the frigid heart of a New Yorker,” he said.

Last year, Paulsboro renamed a small street near the high school Kevin Smith Way. For the premiere, the town brought in a floodlight and a red carpet that everyone, not just Mr. Smith, used.

In “Jersey Girl,” which Mr. Smith said has its autobiographical moments, Paulsboro substitutes for Highlands, where Mr. Smith grew up. Mr. Affleck plays a hard-driving public relations executive who is thrust into being a single father when his wife (Ms. Lopez) dies in childbirth. Mr. Carlin plays his father and Ms. Tyler, a later love interest.

“Paulsboro: home of the only good Ben and Jen movie,” said Mr. Smith to big laughs.

Mr. Affleck and Ms. Lopez were roundly panned for their first effort together, “Gigli.” They were a couple when “Jersey Girl” was filmed; Mr. Smith cut a wedding scene from the movie after they broke up.

Mr. Smith, whose previous films include “Clerks” and “Chasing Amy,” said he was not concerned that the poor reviews for “Gigli” and the subsequent breakup of the stars would affect “Jersey Girl.”

“Enough time has passed on that relationship,” he said. “And we’ve moved far enough away from ‘Gigli’ that the shrapnel from that bomb won’t bother us.”

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) – Oh, those crazy “Yes, Dear” guys. Wherever Greg (Anthony Clark) and Jimmy (Mike O’Malley) go, they just seem to run into celebrities. At the beginning of March, a visit to a Lakers’ game leads to a run-in with former Governor Gray Davis and later in the month, on Monday, March 22, writer-director-Silent Bob Kevin Smith will play himself. When Greg skips his studio’s big movie premiere, Jimmy steals his credentials and hits the red carpet. There, he runs afoul of Smith, the film’s director. Confirming the long-held theory that “Yes, Dear” exists in an alternate universe, Jimmy gets in trouble by insulting Smith’s recent inspirational war movie.

While Smith may not actually have an inspirational war movie on his resume, he does have a movie coming out in March. “Jersey Girl,” starring publicity-shy former couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, was scheduled to hit theatres on Friday, March 19, but has been pushed back a week.

For the “Clerks” and “Chasing Amy” director, this is a rare visit to the scripted television work, though his debut feature was turned into a short-lived ABC animated series which ran in the summer of 2000.