Los Angeles Times: “Back To Mining The Store” (** MINOR SPOILERS **)

“…Each flick I’ve done is kind of a snapshot of where I was in my life when I wrote it; ‘Clerks II’ really speaks to where I am in life at the moment. You don’t have to be an analyst to look at the movie and go, ‘The Quick Stop means a little more than the Quick Stop, and Florida represents something more than just going to Florida.’ That’s kind of where I am. There’s definitely something bittersweet about arriving at ‘Clerks II.’”

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NPR: “Don’t Miss: Kevin Smith Clocks In With Clerks II”

“…mith is funny, but unexpectedly touching when talking about the unambitious but utterly human individuals who inspire his movies. “Someone’s got to sell me the milk, dude,” he tells Inskeep. “Not everyone shoots for the moon… some people are happy to scrape by.”

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WWeek: “Kings Of Convenience” (** MINOR SPOILERS **)

“…Surprisingly, the film works, and, in its own way, shows that Smith has matured in a way that all his other films were never able to convey. “I wasn’t wholly convinced. After I saw the screening, I gave a big sigh,” says Anderson.”

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CanMag: “Nudity In Clerks II” (**SPOILERS**)

“…According to new clerk Trevor Fehrman, Mewes will whip it out any time. “It’s hard to not to feel intimate with a group of people when within days of meeting someone, you’ve seen their testicles,” said Fehrman. “Mewes will show you his testicles with very little coaxing. And I don’t know why. It’s not like they’re particularly beautiful. I don’t get what the deal is.”

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Suite 101: “Kevin Smith’s Upcoming Projects”

“…Evening Harder is being moved to December. They’re going to delay it until Clerks II comes out on DVD and release it at the same time. So you’ll see two versions of the Lord of the Rings thing, the one I do and the one Randall does.”

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai – (1984) “One of the most genius, inventive flicks ever made. From the almost seamless inclusion of the Orson Welles War of the Worlds radio broadcast into the film’s mythology to the mannered performances and the all-synth score, it’s a classic.”

Baby, It’s You (1983) – “First time I went to the movies and thought, ‘They’re talking about us,’ was this John Sayles movie about the star-crossed school couple. She’s middle-class Jewish [Rosanna Arquette]; he’s working-class Italian [Vincent Spano].”

Cop Land (1997) – “A New Jersey I recognize. Highlands, where I grew up, was a lot like the New York policeman’s paradise in that De Niro/Stallone flick, with more bars and fewer officers per square mile than anywhere else in the world.”

Garden State (2004) – “Dug it. Natalie Portman was so-o-o-o-o adorable. Where was that girl when I grew up in Jersey? Not interested in me.”

The Sopranos – “OK, not a movie, but the ultimate Jersey experience, all turnpike and ‘burbs.”

Asked whether he was still thinking about directing, Smith said, “No, it really comes down to I’m really not talented enough to pull off a movie like that. It was between that and ‘Clerks II’ and I drove toward ‘Clerks II’ in such a big, bad way and almost had to fight Harvey Weinstein to do ‘Clerks II’ as opposed to a ‘Green Hornet’ movie, cuz he’s like, ‘it’s time for you to grow and stretch as a filmmaker’ and I’m like, ‘doesn’t anybody get it after twelve years? I’m not that talented. This is what I do [well].’ This is why I got into film, to tell stories like that. I love watching comic book movies. I’d love to watch a ‘Green Hornet’ movie, but would not want to be the guy at the helm of that movie. Number one, I make one of those movies and I lose the right to make fun of other people for making those movies. I learned that the hard way making ‘Jersey Girl.’ I can’t make fun of ‘Raising Helen’ anymore. If I raise one finger to ‘Raising Helen,’ people are like, ‘dude—you made Jersey Girl.’ But number two, that’s not the story I like to tell. I like to tell stories about people sitting around and talking to each other and what not. And that’s really what I’m kind of good at and most people would argue that I’m not even that good at that to begin with. So the notion of doing ‘Green Hornet’ is just not appealing to me. In comic book form—wonderful. I love to write comic books. You don’t have to think about shooting that sh*t, plus you can get into the inner life of a character, you can deal with years of continuity, you can drop reference to a story that happened fifteen years ago. Doing that in the mainstream on a feature basis is just not the same.”

San Bernadino Sun: “Jason Mewes Doing It Clean And Sober”

“…The big difference this time was I was waking up early and looking forward to working. And I’d hang out after.”

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CanMag: “Smith on Clerks II”

“…Jason Lee, we got lucky because Jason was able to make time in his very busy Earl schedule for that scene and that was something that originally Matt [Damon] was going to do, but then Matt was off shooting a Robert DeNiro movie and so Jason stepped in and thankfully pulled it off.”

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E! Online: “Kevin Smith on Clerks II” (**SPOILERS**)

What do you think about being the screenwriter for Aquaman 2 on Entourage?

“I think they owe me a part now. They’ve taken two shots at me–one last season, one this season. Now, I think I should show up on the actual f–kin’ show and slap Ari Gold.”

An Afternoon with Kevin Smith
Date: September 23rd, 2006
Location: Central Florida
Venue: Orange County Convention Center, West Building
Price: $35.00

GMA’s Siegel storms out of ‘Clerks II’ screening

Maybe it’s because he has to wake up so early. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Kevin Smith.

Either way, one thing’s certain: “Good Morning America” film critic Joel Siegel really, really hates “Clerks II,” set to open Friday at theaters across the country.

Sitting in the front row of a packed midtown Manhattan screening room Monday night, Siegel dramatically stood up only 30 minutes into the film and stormed out, to the amazement of those in attendance.

And he didn’t go quietly.

“Time to go!” he yelled as he stood up and proceeding to walk out, passing dozens of critics and writers on his way to the door. And his tirade continued all the way out, as he yelled over the film’s dialogue that this was the first time “in thiry (expletive) years” he had walked out on a film.

The apparent reason for Siegel’s vulgar outburst? A line of dialogue in the film – well, one of many, actually – about sex between a woman and a donkey. Later in the screening, one other unnamed critic appeared to make an early departure.

Only time will tell what Siegel has to say about the episode on “GMA” this Friday.

CRITIC FLEES ‘SMUT’ SCREENING

DON’T joke about women, donkeys and bestiality if you expect Joel Siegel to watch your movie. That’s what director Kevin Smith found out when the pun-loving “Good Morning America” film critic stormed out of a press screening of Smith’s “Clerks II,” which opens Friday – an act that’s sparked a vicious war of words between the two.

“Time to go!” roared Siegel to his fellow critics. “First movie I’ve walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!” His tirade came 40 minutes into the long-awaited Weinstein Company sequel to Smith’s 1994 cult classic about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks who razz customers and goof off.

In the scene that sent Siegel to the exit, the characters graphically discuss hiring a woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel told Page Six: “It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive . . . I wasn’t ready for this kind of smut . . . I hope he doesn’t make any more movies.”

An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog: “Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For ‘Pirates 2,’ he made us all titter with ‘Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun’ . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, ‘Wheelie Good Time for “Cars.” ‘ I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy.”

And there’s more: “I don’t need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan’s, gushing over his flick [‘The Lady in the Water’] before he’s even seen it, but [bleep] man, man – how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie’s playing.

“I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ‘ “Shark Tale” Is a Halibut Good Time’ – so don’t [bleep] with my stuff while it’s still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of ‘Scary Movie’ 4′ while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching ‘The Devil Wears Prada’? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya’ rude-ass [bleep].”

A Dick in a Mustache is Still Just a Dick

So last night, at a press screening of “Clerks II” in New York City, “Good Morning America” movie critic Joel Siegel decided he’d had enough of my shenanigans, and walked out of the flick at the forty minute mark. You’d imagine this would bother me, and yet, I’m as delighted by this news as I was with the eight minute standing ovation “Clerks II” received in Cannes.

I mean, it’s Joel Siegel, for Christ’s sake. As Paul Thomas Anderson once said of the man, getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on being “punny” – that is, he likes to add his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay into the reviews he writes/gives.

For “Pirates 2”, he made us all titter with “Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun”.

For Pixar’s lastest, he made us squeal with delight when he wrote “Wheelie Good Time for ‘Cars’”.

Can you believe he somehow not only made us laugh, but also think, when he challenged our perception with “X-Men’ Fails to X-cite”?

I mean, Fozzy fucking Bear laughs at this guy (AT, mind you, not WITH).

So while I feel like my life will be a little bleaker now that I’ll never know what pun Joel would’ve dug deeply into his comedic well to produce for “Clerks II” (”‘Clerks II?’ More like ‘Jerks, Too’!”), I’ve gotta admit that I’m relieved somebody was finally offended by the flick – enough to head for the exit less than an hour in. I was beginning to think I was losing my touch.

I can’t fault Mr. Siegel for feeling “revolted” (his producer’s description of Joel’s reaction) by our flick; in truth, there is a donkey show in it, and I recognize that brand of whimsy might not be for everybody. Film appreciation is very subjective, and maybe Joel just isn’t into ass-to-mouth conversations.

However, I CAN fault him for the manner in which he left the screening.

Apparently, rather than quietly exit, both Joel and his Cum-Catcher (my slang for the fancy kind of mustache he sports) made a big stink about walking out, calling as much attention to himself as possible, and being generally pretty disruptive.

Check this shit out: roughly forty minutes into the flick, when Randal orders up the third act donkey show, Siegel bellowed to his fellow critics “Time to go!” and “This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!”

Now, I don’t need Joel Siegel to suck my dick the way he apparently sucks M. Night’s, gushing over his flick before he’s even seen it; but shit, man – how about a little common fucking courtesy?Never mind the fact that when you’re paid to watch movies for a living and the only tasks required of you are to a) sit through said movies and b) write your thoughts about them before your deadline, walking out before a movie’s over is pretty unprofessional. Never mind the fact that the scene he was offended by (the ordering of the donkey show), with its (misleading) crude references is only the set-up to a third act pay-off that is a true bait-and-switch from where Joel’s imagination went (and if you’ve already seen the flick, you KNOW what I’m talking about). Never mind that this dude is so straight-laced in his tastes and hyperbolic in his praise that when The Onion took a poke at Joel, I was almost unsure whether it was a joke or not…

You never… NEVER disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it.

Cardinal rule of movie-going: shut your fucking mouth while the movie’s playing. They even ask you to do so in the pre-show run-up to every flick (”Cell phones and pagers off, no talking during the show”). This guy went beyond talking, even; he was making a spectacle of himself as he left. I’ve now spoken to three folks in attendance last night, and all have said that Siegel WANTED everyone to know how disgusted he was, and that he was leaving. If you want to share your displeasure with everyone, that’s fine, dude; just do it AFTER the movie, not during. Some folks were enjoying themselves. I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like “‘Shark Tale’ Is a Halibut Good Time”; so don’t fuck with my stuff WHILE IT’S STILL SCREENING.

Shit, Joel, I know you like being on camera and all, but was it so difficult to not be the center of attention for 40 minutes that you just had to sparkle, Neely, sparkle-it up for your peers instead of showing them a little goddamn courtesy by leaving the theater the way most people do, either during or after the picture: quietly? What are you, a twelve year old boy, cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of “Scary Movie 4” while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching “The Devil Wears Prada”? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya’ rude-ass prick.

It makes me laugh to think that, had Joel stayed ’til the end (like any good critic would for any movie they’re paid to watch), he would’ve seen that we weren’t going where he seemed to think we were going. But apparently, Joel took a cue from his own “Poseiden” review, in which he wrote “Audiences today wouldn’t stand for an hour of exposition before the flood hit. In fact, they wouldn’t stand; they’d walk out.” Well, Magnum (y’know – because of the mustache), I guess you’re a member of that same audience that can’t stand exposition.

Look, I don’t hate the guy. Shit, I’m glad he survived his fairly recent bout with cancer. But his behavior in that screening was unconscionable and professionally unethical, not to mention childishly disruptive. And while I might get laughed at for saying this… well, I just expected more from Joel Siegel.

*sigh*

Rosario Dawson on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (6:40) CONTAINS SPOILER IN CLIP!

Rosario Dawnson on Conan O’Brien (Part One) (4:59)

Rosario Dawnson on Conan O’Brien (Part Two) (7:41)

Clerks II TV Commercial (0:14)