Director Kevin Smith is also a regular, but tends to head for the Genius Bar because his wife’s PowerBook is on the blink. “He rarely has anything to say, but always looks pissed off when he is forced to wait at the bar just like everyone else,” said the associate.

a) I don’t tend to head to the Genius Bar. I’ve been to the Genius Bar exactly once, for – yes – Jen’s PowerBook. Generally, I head straight to the item I’m looking for, pay, and leave (the one time I was at the Genius Bar, though, the guy who helped me out was great).

b) I rarely have anything to say… unless I’m spoken to. I mean, isn’t that the way of the world? And whenever an associate has said something to me in that store, I’ve always then chatted them up. There was a sales associate there who I was always really chatty with, until she left. Even on that day – when I was waiting for some help with Jen’s PowerBook – I chatted with two associates who stopped to talk to me. Both times, they ended the convo. The way I was raised, I’m a pretty polite motherfucker – which is why this shit bugs me so much. I mean, if you’re not a fan of my flicks, just say it; don’t make up lies about me, and paint a portrait of some curmudgeon.

c) If I looked pissed, it’s only because I don’t burst into a room, a’la Robin fucking Williams, trying to make everybody laugh. What the fuck is this shit? Now, if you’re not wearing a grin all the time, you’re pissed?

d) As for waiting in line like everyone else, I didn’t care. In fact, it afforded me the opportunity to sit in on a Mac Tutorial in their theater, where I learned how to navigate iDVD in the process. I was fine to wait, as I was chilling with my Miramax boy, Jon Gordon, and Jen was out in the Grove shopping. I’m not Affleck; I’m used to waiting in lines. Like I don’t go to the grocery store or something? If I were the kinda guy to be pissed about waiting in lines, I’d never take the kid to Disneyland.

People can rank on the flicks I’ve made and whatnot all they want, but when someone misrepresents you and maligns your character, it just burns your ass, y’know? I’m always really courteous and polite to anyone in the work force, because I remember what it was like to make a per-hour wage and deal with the public. Christ, I’m a fifty percent tipper – even when the service sucks.

Apparently, someone on staff there feels I’m not a sunny enough personality to shop in the Grove Apple Store. So I guess I’ll be taking all my Apple-oriented business down to the Santa Monica Apple Store instead. I’m just glad I read this today, as I’m picking up a new G4 Powerbook this week, and I’d rather give a store that hasn’t attacked my character my dough.