I’m a-coming to Akron!

That’s right, Northeastern Ohioans – Friday, March 2nd, I’ll be A-ing your Q’s at E.J. Thomas Hall (located on the corner of University Avenue and Hill Street on The University of Akron’s campus in downtown Akron). Bring a blanket, because these things tend to go long, and you might get bored and wanna take a nap.

You can ORDER TICKETS BY CLICKING HERE!

One Cleveland area blogger predicts of the show “No doubt Smith will call Jay on his cell phone and put him up to the microphone during the ‘lecture.’ No doubt he’ll run through the same jokes, the same waxing philosophical of how he made a low-budget classic… Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings… maxing his credit cards to buy black and white film…”

No, no, no, no and no. There’s little point in talking about that stuff, as it’s all available on “An Evening with Kevin Smith” and “Evening Harder”. As always, I’ll discuss whatever the audience asks about (it’s never a “lecture”); however if the audience asks about any of the topics mentioned above, I will not respond – just to prove this tool wrong.

The tool in question also wrote “And I’m sure that he will keep the fans there late (our audience at Kent stayed until after 1AM) to give the illusion of value.”

This much is true: I’ll probably stay late. Either it’s because I want to “give the illusion of value” or just because… well, what the fuck else am I gonna do once the show’s over? Chill out with this sanctimonious fucktard, who felt the need to add “But a fact’s a fact: this guy is a blowhard and no Orson Welles… just like “Clerks” is no “Citizen Kane”?

He’s correct on two points: I’m no Orson Welles (not talent-wise, anyway; waist-wise, I’m getting there) and “Clerks” is no “Citizen Kane” (though they’re both shot in Black and White). But then, who (and what) is, really? Given that criteria, I guess homeboy never leaves the house – as Welles hasn’t done a “Citizen Kane” Q&A in quite some time.

A fact’s a fact: Welles ain’t gonna be in Akron talking about “Kane” that night (or any night ever again, for that matter), so why not roll up for the 5,987,543rd best thing instead?

(And in terms of being a “blowhard”: I mean, is it really blowhard-y to answer questions about yourself when people are there for the express purpose of asking you questions about you and your work? If I were to refuse to do so, when a thousand folks or more have paid to see just that, wouldn’t that make me as big an asshole as… well, the blogger in question who doesn’t seem to grasp the simple concept of a Q&A?)

So c’mon, Buckeyes (and any of you east coasters who feel like taking a drive that day): eight bucks’ll getcha a great seat in a big ol’ opry house where you can watch a fat guy sweat for, minimum, four hours, while he blabs!