One important lesson I’ve learned while working with AICN this year is never underestimate a friend of a friend of a friend of a college dean’s buddy of a midget porn actor’s pal’s sister of a friend’s acquaintance because they just might hook you up with a script–among several other things. Luckily, I was given a script and I was given a dandy.

When Jim Henson died in 1989 I was crushed, as was the rest of the world. I had been a huge fan of everything he created–especially anything involving the Muppets. From the show and flicks to the magazine and albums, you could say I was rather devoted. I still consider myself a fan at heart, though I have not seen MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND. After the Muppets came back with MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL I suppose I thought I outgrew the Muppets I knew and loved. I assumed they would carry on through recreations of classic stories much like Disney animated flicks. In my mind a MUPPET HAMLET or MUPPET MOBY DICK would be inevitable forthcoming films I could do without, and original stories would be few and far between…until now.

Keep in mind I know practically nothing about the upcoming MUPPETS FROM SPACE aside from what I’ve seen in the trailer and television spots. It appears, however, Jim Henson Productions and Columbia Pictures may be steering the Muppets back into the direction of fresh, new tales. With the funny script THE NEXT MUPPET MOVIE, written by Brian Lynch (BIG HELIUM DOG), the studio could find themselves making an outstanding Muppet film having sort of an indie vibe–all story, not many effects.

The premise is simple: Several Muppets have left “The Muppet Show” to pursue solo projects and Kermit needs them back. The path to this conflict and the road out is loaded with an action-packed climax (would you believe ninjas), fun celebrity cameos and approximately every Muppet character imaginable (“Sesame Street” not included).

Gonzo is one of the first Muppets to stray from the nest. He pursues the film role of a popular spy with suave style and fun gadgets. Animal tries his hand in rap music and Piggy, as would be expected, has her own talk show. Fozzie and Lew Zealand work in television as well with their own projects. There are several other examples, but they’re too good to give away.

So, why did they all leave? Who stayed? Did Statler and Waldorf take off too? Will they all come back? What’s Kermit doing in the interim? All these questions are answered with great humor. There are no musical numbers.

Lynch fills the script with a wide range of references for kids, adults, Muppet aficionados and up-and-coming fans. The script has a non-“cutesy poo” feel that MUPPETS FROM SPACE appears to have based on the trailer. This script contains nothing offensive, mind you, but the story is not JUST for kids–of course, the Muppets have never really been for children only. I remember my dad used to watch the Muppets with me. THE NEXT MUPPET MOVIE has a funny scene with Kermit and Piggy at a ball paying homage to the recent modernized adaptation of ROMEO AND JULIET which starred Claire Danes and the DiCaprio kid. So, even the so-called Generation X and Y’ers have something.

I apologize, I feel like I’m shortchanging the readers of this review with regard to the good stuff. I don’t want to give away celebrity cameo names, Muppet surprises, jokes or key plot points because they are all so sweet set against the backdrop of behind-the-scenes at “The Muppet Show.” In a sense, it’s almost like THE PLAYER with Muppets, if you will. I hope they get someone funny to play the prominent human role of Mick, and The Muppets have all the material to be in fine form: Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Gonzo and even a few folks from the short-lived “Muppets Tonight” like Clifford and Bobo. Oh, and look for Rizzo the Rat, Floyd and Zoot to be the cult heroes of the film a la Boba Fett or Mini-Me–characters not expected to be enjoyed so much, but are.

After reading this script I have become extremely curious of Lynch’s film effort BIG HELIUM DOG. It has been previouslyreviewed on AICN–favorably, I believe–but I’ve no idea of the fate of the flick, though it is tied to View Askew Films having been executive produced by Kevin Smith and cohorts. However, if Lynch continues to write scripts like THE NEXT MUPPET MOVIE, he’ll have no trouble getting gigs in the future. He finally returns the Muppets to where they belong at that much higher level of kid-like entertainment than the a lot of the stuff that’s out there. And if this witty script is produced, the movie will make folks excited and interested about the Muppets again. Henson would be proud.

Elston Gunn