By the way, if anyone can forward us a copy or two of the article in print, we’d appreciate it for our collection! Thanks.

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KEVIN SMITH

Sure, the soundtracks to his films Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy have included Liz Phair, Girls Against Boys, Weezer and The Hangs-ups, but writer-director-actor Kevin Smith doesn’t consider himself a music buff. At his Red Bank, New Jersey, production offices, Smith confesses he takes as much ribbing from his friends for his love of all things ’80s as his onscreen alter ego, Silent Bob, takes about his girth. Smith is dieting to lose the extra pounds so those jokes might end, but he has no plans to give up the ’80s cheese.

Anyone who has seen your movies knows about your obsessions with underground comics, the Star Wars trilogy, mall culture and hockey. Where does music fit on that list?

Honestly, on a list of 100, music would probably be number 101. I’m not very musically inclined. My taste is actually quite deplorable; I take quite a lot of heat for it. I grew up surrounded by country music. When you’re a kid you have zero musical control. I had no ability to go out and buy a tape, so all I heard was country. And all my mother listened to was Barbara Streisand. That’s where the bad taste comes from.

Deplorable? Really? How bad are we talking?

You can’t really pin my taste down. It ranges from rap to bubblegum, from ’80s pop to the hardest of hardcore. The Chasing Amy soundtrack probably comes closest to my musical taste. Movie soundtracks have always been my favorite. They, too, are all over the board.

Were there any ’80s soundtracks that you especially liked?

I used to take a lot of heat from my friends for listening to the Nothing In Common and She’s Having A Baby soundtracks.

She’s Having A Baby! I remember buying that on vinyl back in high school. Bryan Ferry. Everything But the Girl, the Smiths cover by Kirsty MacColl, some solo Dave Wakeling…

Yeah, well, I’ve got it on vinyl, CD and tape.

There’s that great scene in Chasing Amy where Holden and Alyssa spend an afternoon exploring New York City and falling in love, all to that magnificent Hang-ups song. Have you had an afternoon like that, or a song that’s encapsulated a relationship so completely?

There is one terribly embarrassing theme song–Atlantic Starr’s “Always.” It was just one of those secrets [my girlfriend and I] shared. I still can’t hear that song without thinking of that time. Then there was that Human League song–“You’re Only Human”–that was so huge on the radio when another girlfriend cheated on me. I was working in a restaurant as a busboy. The song would come on, and I’d have to go home. I couldn’t bus; I was too depressed. Music’s real sensory like that–it takes you right back. I always wondered why people listen to oldies. Now I’m starting to understand. And our oldies are just getting old.

Exactly. I just rented Grosse Pointe Blank and Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, and it was oddly disturbing to hear my high-school favorites as the nostalgic backdrop for movies about 10-year reunions.

I know. Grosse Pointe Blank, I loved half of those songs. The others were too hip for me. I loved the one-hit wonders. When they started putting out those ’80s compilations, it was like heaven for me. I didn’t have to buy the entire Thomas Dolby album, but I could get “she Blinded Me With Science.” Or [Dexy’s Midnight Runners’] “Come On Eileen,” [‘Til Tuesday’s] “Voices Carry.” I was a child of radio.

So what was it about ’80s rap that appealed to a kid from suburban New Jersey?

I guess you get to live vicariously through rap. It appeals to the wannabe in me. Those were halcyon days for rap–Run-D.M.C., LL Cool J, Public Enemy, Schoolly D. I liked the boasting. Now it’s all gangsta and violent. One of my first concerts was the Def Jam tour with Public Enemy. It was quite an experience. Here we were from the lily-white New Jersey suburbs, surrounded by an audience we only saw on TV. It was kind of neat. Everyone focused on the music. My friend had a chain snatched off. We just thought, “It’s official. We’ve arrived.”

It’s certainly nice to see other folks out there who can appreciate that fine 80’s music. We thought we were getting old there for a sec…Wait a minute…I guess we are…Oh well. There’ll always be a special place in our hearts for that wacky decade.

‘Clerks’ director coming in June

Independent filmmaker Kevin Smith-the director of Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy-will speak at the Ohio Union at 7:30 p.m. June 2.

He’ll give a brief lecture on indie filmmaking, then take audience questions for more than two hours. Don’t worry, he’ll have plenty to talk about: Besides his directing/acting stints, he’s been bumped as screenwriter for the new Superman movie, is shooting a new film (Dogma) in Pittsburgh, andis the guy who got Miramax to take a peek at a little script called Good Will Hunting”.

Tickets are $10 (students $5). They go on sale through Ticketmaster on April 10.

BEN DOES BONHAM CARTER

The Oscar party of the year was Miramax‘s pre-awards dinner March 22 at the Regent Beverly Wilshire. It’s become an annual tradition: actor nominees from one Miramax movie parody nominees from other Miramax productions.

This year, Robin Williams donned a rhinestone tiara to play Judi Dench in a scene from “Mrs. Brown”; Dench and Helena Bonham Carter did that wonderfully overwritten scene from “Good Will Hunting,” wherein Ben Affleck tells Matt Damon he doesn’t want to see him in the same place “20 years from now”; and Ben and Matt returned the compliment by doing a scene from “The Wings of the Dove”.

Affleck appeared in drag to get into his Bonham Carter role and borrowed Madonna’s cape for the scene. In her usual snarky mood, the Big M started grousing loudly when Affleck forgot and left her cape on the stage.

Oh, and what else happened? Matt Damon was all over current-girlfriend Winona Ryder, and ex-girlfriend Minnie Driver (his co-star in “Good Will Hunting”) was an obvious no-show. Smart girl.

Following months of speculation comes word that yes, Chasing Amy‘s Joey Lauren Adams and Swingers’ Vince Vaughn are an item.

And perhaps a serious one. Our spies caught up with them at the Miramaxparty in L.A. on Oscar night. Shortly after 3a.m., paparazzi started shooting as the couple exited down the red carpet.

When a photographer asked them to pose, Adams took the lenswoman aside and said: “You can shoot us when we get married.”

We can just hear it now: “Joey, you’re money, baby! You’re so money and you don’t even KNOW it!”