And just as it becomes clear, it gets mucky again…

“Clerks II” may not be one of the Weinstein Co. flicks that wind up in one of the MGM slots, because MGM is a signatory of the MPAA – which means that “Clerks II” going through MGM would require an R rating, and that’s not gonna happen. So unless the flick’s somehow allowed to go out unrated through MGM, it’s not likely that we’ll occupy one of the aforementioned slots after all.

11:30-11:55pm: Old school rap video’s play. It’s a TV show circa 1984/1985 featuring Run DMC, Jam Master Jay, Kool Moe D and more.

11:55pm: John Pierson speaks briefly and introduces the first 5 minutes of a documentary named “Jam”, about Roller Derby. The film is about over-the-hill 50 somethings addicted to Roller Derby. It was truely hilarious stuff! The World Premiere is at SXSW this week, and John urges everyone to go see it. I highly recommend it, from the 5 minutes I saw.

12:00am: We see a 5 minute short named “Directions Guy”. Unfortunately, there are no words that can do this clip justice. It’s a guy giving ridiculously complicated directions. Yep, that’s what it is. Great ending though! I hope we see this again, perhaps at Vulgarthon.

12:05am: Kevin takes the stage. Someone asks if Jason Lee is truely a Scientologist. Yes he is, and Ethan Suplee has been a life-long Scientologist, but neither of them EVER try to push their beliefs on anyone.

Someone asked if Kevin can do the “Two Step” from House Party. Alas, Kevin cannot, but Jason Mewes and his friend Mustard apparently have it down.

Clerks: Sell Out will definitely be the title of the animated flick, and it definitely will be made. It will use Powerhouse Animation. The plot was confirmed as being about 2 guys (Dante and Randal) who work at a convenience store and make a film about it.

We learn that George Clooney would have been Kevin’s ideal Green Hornet, although Jake Gyllenhall would be good too.

Kevin’s work on The Southland Tales was filmed in 5 hours on one night, but was still a pretty major role. Apparently, all his scenes will feature Janeane Garofalo, although she was not at the shoot. Kevin does share scenes with The Rock, and also Moonlighting’s Curtis Armstrong.

When asked about “Poopie Trim”, Kevin said that Ethan had given him a heads up. He told Kevin “You HAVE to watch this week”, to which Kevin responded “Why, do you say “Poopie Trim” or something”?.

Kevin doubts the live action Clerks sitcom pilot will ever see the light of day, although a scene from it WILL be featured in an upcoming “Train Wreck”! Now THAT is something to look forward to!

1:00am: Kevin screens for the first time the Clerks II teaser trailer. The trailer was fantastic, and although it contains a couple of spoilers for those who want to go it cold, it doesn’t touch on the films major plot, or the films most memorable scene.There is a great “Jersey Girl” joke in the trailer, which the studio wanted to do, but had to wait for Kevin to suggest it. The trailer was approved by the MPAA, but Clerks II has not yet been submitted. I actually ran into Kevin at Los Angeles airport later that morning and spoke about Clerks II’s rating. I am convinced it will get an R, and although Kevin doesn’t think it will, he actually hopes it does.

1:05am: House Party!!

Since I live just a few blocks from the set of Clerks II (opening August 18th, 2006), I thought I would share this. This is (was) the filming set of the fast food joint, Mooby’s, where a majority of the film takes place. In the film, Mooby’s is set in New Jersey, but was actually filmed in Buena Park, California. Near Knott’s Berry Farm.

This was originally a Burger King which I occasionally visited. It wasn’t a very good Burger King – kind of run down and the food was so-so. After it closed down, it wasn’t much of a surprise that it would be demolished. Little did I know that it would be the future set of Clerks II before it’s demise. I was lucky enough to see the transformation into Mooby’s take place prior to the October 2005 filming, which was pretty cool.

I drove by the location everyday on my way to pick up my son from preschool. Always checking for signs of the impending demolition. On Friday March 3, 2006, there was a bull dozer in the now defunct Mooby’s parking lot – not good. Monday 6, 2006, it was gone.

Sunday March 5, 2006. Aware of what was about to happen, I took some pictures of the dilapidated building.

It’s kind of sad to see it that it’s gone now.

Earl Hickey, Meet Stewie Griffin

‘Earl’ DVD to feature mini-episode with ‘Family Guy’ character

LOS ANGELES — Imagine for a moment a TV world in which Earl Hickey, after winning his $100,000 and getting run over by a car, doesn’t see Carson Daly talking about karma from his hospital bed.

Imagine, instead, that he instead took a life lesson from … Stewie Griffin.

Or, save yourself some imaginative effort and just wait until the first season of “My Name Is Earl” is released on DVD sometime later this year. Because then you’ll find out.

Greg Garcia, creator of the hit NBC comedy, unveiled plans for the show’s first-season DVD set Tuesday night (March 7) to the audience at the Museum of Television & Radio’s annual Paley Festival. He says it should be released before the show’s second season begins in the fall, and it will contain a fair number of bells and whistles including commentary tracks and selections from “hours and hours” of gag-reel footage cast and crew have accumulated this year.

“We’re actually doing 15-minute mini-episode [that asks] what if Earl [Jason Lee] passed by Carson Daly and landed on Stewie from ‘Family Guy,’” Garcia says. Garcia is a former producer on “Family Guy,” and both it and “Earl” are produced by 20th Century Fox TV.

Lee and Garcia also discussed the origins of television’s most famous facial hair since the heyday of “Magnum, P.I.” Garcia says that NBC initially was hesitant about having a mustachioed Earl, “but Jason said, ‘Trust me, I look funny with facial hair.’”

The network did, however, convince Lee to trim the ‘stache back a little bit. “I originally went for a fu manchu, but NBC said no. I guess it made me look a little bit too trashy,” he says. “So we sort of shaved off the chu and left the fu man.”

“My Name Is Earl” is in the homestretch of production for this season, with three episodes and part of a fourth left to shoot. Garcia says in the season finale, we’ll find out the No. 1 item on Earl’s karmic to-do list, which was the misdeed he performed just before he won the lottery.

Other upcoming episodes include two that were screened for the audience Tuesday: one in which Earl and Randy (Ethan Suplee) try to make up for all the bad Mother’s Days they’ve given their mom (Nancy Linehan and Beau Bridges reprise their roles as Earl’s parents) and a flashback-heavy episode that shows how Earl, Randy, Joy (Jaime Pressly) and Darnell (Eddie Steeples) lived through Y2K.

I shot the menus for “Evening Harder” yesterday.

Those who recall the “Evening With” menus will remember me coming out, waiting impatiently for the viewer to choose “Play” or whatever. We’re doing that again, though with British and Canadian flavors (i.e. – you’ll see me with hockey stick and gloves in/on hand; on roller blades, no less).

When I ask Rosario about her childhood, she starts at the beginning–right at conception.

“I was conceived on Avenue X in Brooklyn with a prison condom that broke,” she says (a prison condom being a condom they give you when you leave prison, just to clarify). “My mom was ready to get an abortion. She was at the clinic, had an appointment. And then she says she felt me move, and she fell in love with me right then. But I was just a speck, so it wasn’t me moving. It was probably gas.”

Okay, but what about after that? What about her life growing up?

Also not so ordinary. Dawson–a mix of Puerto Rican, Native American, Cuban, African-American, and Irish–grew up in a squat on the Lower East Side. When the family moved in, there was no electricity, no water, a hole in the floor, and a crack house across the street. Her mom was sixteen when Rosario was born and kept her in line with an interesting discipline technique: licking. “She’d lick me right across my cheek like a cougar. And it was just so humiliating.”

You can find the full Rosario article in the April 2006 issue of Esquire.

12. The Girl who ‘Lights up a Room’: Of the dozens (hundreds?) of evaluations that have been conducted over the years be it for Playboy, or the Intern Beauty Pageants this one from 1997 stands out. Judges Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes and AJ Benza had to hand down the bad news to an aspiring actress who thought she lit up a room. Not only did she not light up a room, Howard recommended that she go light up a cigarette.