- Well, here’s the big news of the day. First off, as you might have guessed, the incredible popularity of the Clerks inaction figures has sold the deal on the next wave of Inactions: Mallrats, Series 1! So, thanks to all of you that bought sets, as you will ensure that more and more of these cool dudes hit shelves, and also clog up the geekspace surrounding our News Askew computers.
So, why are we telling you all this? Well, Kevin’s got a tough decision for you all to make. There’s 7 figures prototyped for Mallrats, yet only FOUR of them can make it into Series 1. Rest assured, the remaining 3 (and a mystery fourth) will show up again in Rats Series 2, but that’s a year or so away. So the question is, which four do you want…NOW!???! Here’s Kevin:
Kevin Smith Can’t Decide Which Figures to Make…So It’s Up to You!
Here’s the thing, folks: I’m far too close to these characters (particularly that Jay guy; I’m tellin’ you, just because two guys sleep in a bed together—naked—doesn’t mean they’re any more than just friends). I have a fundamental philosophical and ideological block that prevents me from choosing just four characters from our upcoming Mallrats wave to stick in each case. I want to include them all! The stink-palm goodness of Brodie! The Punisher War Journal-mongering beauty of René! The mustard-stained-shirtyness of Willam! The Bat-Ass-y-ness of Silent Bob! The “Fly, fat-ass, fly!” fly-ness of Jay! The “Tell ‘em, Steve-Dave!”-edness of Steve-Dave and Walt the Fan Boy! It is simply impossible for me to decide which four should go into this first wave of Mallrats figures.
That’s where you guys come in.
Just as you were asked to vote for the life or death of Jason Todd, I, Graphitti Designs, Wizard Entertainment and ToyFare are asking you to vote on which four get the leads in the primary assortment of our latest Clerks Inaction figures, set to hit shelves this November. You vote ‘em, and we’ll pack ‘em. And the sweet thing is you don’t even have to worry about the figures you didn’t vote for: rest assured, money whore I am, they’ll wind up in the Mallrats Wave 2 release (after we do a Dogma wave, a Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back wave, a Chasing Amy wave, and another Clerks wave)! The bad news: You can’t vote for any of them to be beaten by a crowbar and blown up by the Joker (although what you do with them at home is your own business). The good news: You’re being extended a degree of false democratic choice in the process! Some will live! Some will die! But none of them will move their hands, heads or legs!
So, c’mon, tribe! Do me a solid and click here and vote some of these poor bastards off the island so we can finally release these sweet, sweet, immobile little S.O.B.s! Do this for me, and I promise I’ll finally finish Spider-Man/Black Cat.
Your choices: Brodie, Jay, Rene, Silent Bob, Walt, Steve-Dave, and Willam. We gotta admit, we haven’t been able to decide ourselves, though considering Clerks already has a Jay & Bob, we may put them at the bottom of the list…Then again that Batman Bob is just too cool for words…And Rene would be the first female inaction figure on the block, so she should go through. And we KNOW that Walt & Bryan would be thrilled to see inaction likenesses of themselves mass-produced, so it’s tough not to put them through. Wow, this is a tough one.
Thanks to Toyfare for the story and the opportunity to vote! Vote carefully, as you, dear readers, now have your chance to shape the View Askew future…ever so slightly. Choose wisely. CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!!!!
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