On Tuesday 8/29, at the annual Hollywood Video Store Directors retreat at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, we were treated to a surprise visit from Kevin Smith. The studios have a habit of bringing along surprise guests during their presentations, and a Columbia/Tristar VP of marketing stunned the crowd by introducing the writer/director/ star of Dogma!!!

After a thunderous standing ovation, Kevin made a few brief remarks and then took Q & A from the audience. Sadly, I had no camera or tape recorder available, so I can’t present any kind of transcript. So what follows are some paraphrased remarks from Kevin (sorry if they’re not exact).

He started by apologizing for being there: “I know you were expecting some real celebrities, and instead all you got was this fat guy who made Mallrats.”

After Kevin ripped up his Blockbuster Video card (to riotous applause) he remarked “As we said back in Jersey–”Fuck the Buster!!” He then apologized for such blatant pandering, but he said he needed to get in good graces with us, because “I lost all my money at the tables, and now I’m chugging cocks in the mens’ room for $5 chips.” He also confessed that 6 years ago, after the first Hollywood Video had come to the Red Bank area, he and a fellow RST employee had thrown a brick through Hollywood’s window. “But now I guess I’m all corporate corporate corporate….fuck the mom & pops!!”

He of course plugged the forthcoming Dogma SE DVD and the CLERKS TCS DVD, although he became confused because “Here I am plugging one of my discs put out by Buena Vista who is Disney who owns ABC who fucked us over in the first place.”

In response to a question, he said VA5 so far “is known merely as View Askew 5 to maintain a Star Warsian veil of secrecy, as if anyone gives a fuck.” He said it would start production in November or December.

He mentioned that the next project was “Fletch 3: Not a Trace of Chevy,” but then qualified that by saying no decisions had been made yet.

And he finished by thanking the video store directors, because VHS (and now DVD) was the best way for independent film makers to find an audience. His films, in particular, had really found their audience on video, and thanks to our support “I now have kind of a following, and they’re the ones always ripping off your copies of Clerks.”

Jet lag is preventing me from remembering much more at the moment. I can however, confirm that the Ben Affleck/blackjack story was the talk of everyone in Vegas. And since this puts Ben and Kevin and Matt in Las Vegas on the same day, I wonder if they were hanging out together?