The good news: no one’s going to have to dress up like anyone.

The bad news: we’re saving that for the ‘Dogma’ premiere in the fall.

The good news: folks are going to have two hours in the new Stash on grand opening day.

The bad news: only three hundred are going to get in.

The good news: it’s linked to the Virtual Reality Tour, hosted by either Mewes or Brian O’Halloran (Dante, to the uninitiated).

The bad news: it’s going to cost you.

The skinny: So we went over it and over it, took all the feedback (from here, the phone calls, the faxes, etc.) into consideration, and arrived at the conclusion that the store isn’t nearly big enough, nor are there enough hours in the day to accomodate the masses for this grand opening shindig. It was becoming unwieldy, and had it been tied to another event (as mentioned in one of my initial posts, say, another Vulgarthon), it would’ve been doable. However, the notion of five hundred to a thousand folks lined up outside in the cold along the streets of Red Bank, dressed up in fake beards and hair… well, I wouldn’t do it myself. And if I wouldn’t do it, I don’t think I’d want to subject other people to it either. All that waiting, all that ‘God, look at me…’-type self-loathing, all for a strict half hour in a comic book store (regardless of the frills) doesn’t equate to satisfaction in my book. So we’re tabling the dress up affair for the ‘Dogma’ preem – at which point, admission WILL be limited to those in costume, but you get to hide from the general population in a dark movie theatre, in the warmer months of Sept/Oct, and you’re getting something REALLY special for it all. So while I’d never personally dress up like a character just to go to a comic book store (and meet folks, see stuff, etc.), I WOULD dress up to see a movie I really wanted to see a month before anyone else (like ‘The Phantom Menace’ or something; I’d go like Jabba for some of that magic). And if I would do it, then I could be cool with other folks doing it for one of my flicks (and for future reference, for those who don’t agree with the dress-up thing or think it lacks dignity, then I urge you – simply don’t go, little boo-hoo’s).

Like I said, however – this version’s going to cost. It’s looking like $30. That’s less than the Vulgarthon, but more than the last version of this idea (which was free, save the price of one’s dignity – and who can put a dollar value on that). We’re limiting it to three hundred people, and we’ll be selling the tickets via the phone, on an announced date (like we did with the Vulgarthon tix; and for the record, we’ll be turning off the voice mail feature that day, so all you’ll get is the busy signal until you get through – I remember a lot of folks complained about the cost of the phone calls when they got that voicemail greeting).

Remember – if you want to get in and see the Stash, minus the stuff, feel absolutely free to pop in anytime (except that chosen Saturday). If you’re going to bitch about this as a money-making scheme or some such shit, do so knowing you’ll be ejected from the site. Your voice of discension, should you feel the need to opine, will be heard in your refusal to attend such an event (ie – I’m tired of you fucking whiners who’ve got nothing better to do than bitch, bitch, bitch – b.buster being the exception, as that’s the only thing he knows how to do; at least he’s consistent). No – this isn’t a money-making scheme (it’s a money-recouping scheme, yes) – it’s a way to give folks what they want. And if I’m wrong, and it’s not what they (meaning you) want, well then don’t call and order tickets that day. I’ll get the message pretty clearly.

We’re 99% sure this is how it’s going to be done (leaving that 1% margin in case there’s any last second brilliance waiting to rear its head). I feel like it’s going to be a good event – somewhat intimate, and a hell of a lot more orderly. I hope you’ll join us, for what I consider to be a pretty decent variation on the Vulgarthon (until such time as we can figure out if we can have a Vulgarthon again; the old Sony Loews is now under new ownership, and we’re not sure if they’re up for such an event).

Meantime, I’ll be preparing my tour-guide voice.

The general public seems to LOVE this idea, so the 300 of you lucky souls that make it in are gonna have a blast! We’ll see you there. As always, watch News Askew for more details on this exciting event.

By the way, Jimmy Palmiotti checked in with us to assure that he’d be at the event, along with a special guest:

Just letting you guys know that Amanda Conner is responsible for the Mad magazine DD video tape art , and also for the upcoming appearance of Jay and Silent Bob as kids in the new Painkiller Jane #0 coming out 3rd week in February. It’s one panel in a halloween scene. Amanda and I look foward to coming to Kevs new store opening in March. Amanda promised to wear something short and skimpy. Me… I’ll be covering as much as possible. You can thank me later.

Thanks, Joe! We’ll see ya there.