Empire spent yesterday evening with Kevin Smith, who conclusively proved that he is no Silent Bob by talking for four hours and twenty minutes without a break. Arena, one of our sister magazines for which Smith is a regular columnist, brought the director over for his first European date after a barnstorming series of talks in the States. While we were laughing too hard to remember everything he said, a few things did sink in – most notably that he may not direct The Green Hornet.

Asked whether he was worried about taking on the cult comic given that he is on record as saying that he cannot direct action, Smith dropped something of a bombshell on fans anxiously waiting for his take on the material. “I think the way around it is just not to direct it because otherwise I’m going to have to recant, and fuck that! Honestly, I signed on to Green Hornet to write and direct it at a time where I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just like, “Someone wants to give me a comic book movie? Wow.”

“But now I would like to write it but I don’t know about directing, because a) I’m too lazy to direct an action movie but b) I never got into this business to make a movie like that. I got into this business to make movies like Clerks and that was the first movie I made. You look at El Mariachi, you can see what Robert wanted to do from the get-go. I had no interest in shit like that. I like movies where people sit around and talk. I never got into this business to blow shit up or make people run. I sent Harvey [Weinstein] an email saying that I think I jumped into this too soon, and I will happily write it but I can’t guarantee that I will end up directing this movie. He was like, “I totally get it. Just write it and see how you feel when you write it”. So that’s where I’m at right now. I don’t know if I have an action movie in me.”

Smith also admitted to some less than savoury pastimes – watching She’s Having A Baby and Sweet Home Alabama while listening to Sting records, for example, as well as past indiscretions involving a Batman T-shirt and the roof of a pharmacy, the details of which we will take to the grave.

All in all, a most entertaining and informative night which left us with the impression that the only reason Smith makes films is to give him something to talk about, and the audiences a reason to turn up.