Smith ready for U.S.-Canada, then it’s ‘Hit Somebody’

By Adam Kimelman – NHL.com Staff Writer

Acclaimed filmmaker Kevin Smith spent Sunday doing interviews for his new movie, “Cop Out,” which comes out Feb. 26. But there really was only one thing on his mind.

U.S. vs. Canada.

“I called my kid (daughter Harley), she’s sleeping in a different hotel room from me this morning,” Smith said. “I got up very early and I said, ‘You know what happens tonight?’ And she said, ‘Parise vs. Brodeur,’ and I said ‘Yes!’ It’s a big game for us.”

Smith, New Jersey to the core despite his current Los Angeles address, still bleeds Devils red. So for him, it’s a win-win situation knowing either Canada goalie Martin Brodeur or U.S. forwards Zach Parise and Jamie Langenbrunner are going to leave Canada Hockey Place happy.

“That’s a big bucket of win for me,” said Smith. “I’m not sitting there going (go) Team USA, and I’m certainly not sitting there going (go) Team Canada. I’m just like, that’s the best hockey you’ll ever see. Unlike an all-star game, these guys are going for medals. They’re going to play really hard.”

So hard, in fact, he hopes for some NHL-like extracurricular activity.

“I’m hoping they’re so competitive Marty starts busting out like (Ron) Hextall and starts slashing ankles,” Smith said. “It would be awesome to see a Marty-Parise fight.”

While that likely won’t happen — at least outside of Lou Lamoriello’s nightmares — expect to see that kind of action in Smith’s next project, the hockey-themed “Hit Somebody.”

Smith revealed exclusively to NHL.com that Seann William Scott, who worked with Smith on “Cop Out,” will play Buddy, the title character in “Hit Somebody.” The script, based on a Warren Zevon song with lyrics by acclaimed writer Mitch Albom, is a story of a hockey enforcer who strives to score just one goal in a hockey game.

“Seann, for me, was the key into the character,” Smith told NHL.com. “I had all the elements in place, and the one thing I was missing was the personality. Generally I like to write to a voice, but I didn’t know who that voice was or what that voice could be. And then after spending all the time with Seann on this movie, he’s pitch perfect. He is that guy.

“This dude has something in him that you can just see hangs so well on Buddy. He’s got some pain that’s going to work out well. More importantly he has so much love in his heart. Seann Scott is such an ebullient, happy person who’s just happy to be there. And on (“Cop Out”) you could see it. On our set the guy is just so delighted to be working, to be making people laugh. But he’s always dismissed as Stifler. … This is his chance to shine.”

Scott, a native of Cottage Grove, Minn., admittedly isn’t much of a skater, but for the role of Buddy, that works just fine.

“I didn’t grow up playing hockey which is good because the character is not supposed to be a great player, he’s a great fighter,” Scott said.

“When I pegged Seann, I said ‘You’re Minnesota; that might as well be Canada,” said Smith. “You’re from hockey country. He was like, I’m an athlete and I played a lot of baseball and basketball, but I wasn’t good at hockey. I can skate, though. I said that’s all I need. He doesn’t have to be Paul Coffey on skates. He shouldn’t be.”

Scott said spending time with Smith drew him back into hockey — he follows the Minnesota Wild, but not closely — and Smith said he’s hoping Scott will join him in June at the Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament in Brantford, Ont., that Smith has turned into a personal pilgrimage. Besides his playing goalie for his own team, Puck U., Smith will be bringing seven teams along with him.

The tournament also allows him to indulge his personal obsession with all things Gretzky, and have a life outside the movies. It’s why he enlists close friends and family members for his own team, rather than friends like Seth Rogen and Ben Affleck.

“These cats are super-famous and they got other things to do, they got lives,” said Smith. “The notion that you want to go to suburban Ontario to play street hockey while Wayne Gretzky’s dad watches — some people don’t want to do it. Seann William Scott will definitely go. He wasn’t aware of it last time. I remember saying while we were making the movie that I was going to play hockey, and he was like, where? Maybe he’ll come.”

While nothing is locked in contractually, Smith said having Scott’s voice in his head makes finishing the script a far easier task.

“Once I get going I could probably write it in less than a month, because it’s all right here at the top of my throat, ready to go, and in my heart,” Smith said. “In my heart of hearts I know it’s Seann, it’s so easy to go. Just easy to skate all-out when you have a voice in your head and I have his voice well in my head.”

That voice doesn’t sound like Scott’s famed “Stifler” character from the “American Pie” franchise. Scott has done dramatic roles before, and Smith believes Hit Somebody can elevate both their careers.

“I look at this as Seann’s opportunity to go to the (Tom) Hanks level,” Smith said. “Hanks for years and years did this (lesser) role and then he became that (blockbuster movie) guy. This is Seann’s chance to do that as well, not just be Stifler. And it’s my chance to not just be the “Clerks” guy. It’s my chance to do something big, epic in scale. Stories I tell span one day. … This spans 30 years. You’re talking a period. You’re trying to bring people to a time in your life that hasn’t existed in 30 years. The look of it, the feel of it, the sound of it — everything I have is going to be in that movie.”

Okay, so all that said, let’s catch up. The most detailed version of Kevin’s story was now told via a video blog which you can find HERE. We apologize for all the chunks, but Kevin did this on the fly using software that made that the fastest way to get the clips up. Kevin was invited on many national talk shows to discuss this (Larry King Live, Good Morning America, etc) but decided this was the best way to tell the story in full, without censorship. So there it is.

In addition to that, Kevin presented SModcast #107, where passenger Natali, also wronged by SWA, gets to tell her side of the story. Keep in mind, this happened all in the same weekend. Just makes you wonder how long it’s been going on, without folks having their voices heard. “Thinicism” is the title, and it’s streaming or downloadable for free right now, exclusively at www.smodcast.com.

Finally today, Kevin’s latest blog entry really shows how the airline has changed their story, with visual evidence, a good example of a very poorly-handled bit of publicity and customer service. This entry focuses on the media, and the careless way they have handled this event as well, basically rewriting it to make a story, not paying attention to the actual facts (which Kevin has made READILY available all week long, they didn’t even need to work to find them). You’ll want to hit up Silent Bob Speaks for the entire story, but here are a few highlights:

…Yes, I have a job that pays me handsomely, and because of this, I normally do fly on airlines for which size is never an issue. And as I’ve said repeatedly: I’ve been flying Southwest from Burbank to Oakland, SF, and Vegas for years (yes, even the FATTER years), and I’ve never had a problem (beyond the occasional disappointment in lapse of customer service that we’re all so used to, it can no longer be considered a true “problem” when traveling). But then, we really fell off a cliff.

…

Everyone keeps saying “Sue! Sue!” Jesus – I don’t want their money; I just want them to admit they fucked up, and they’re sorry to me, Natali, and anybody else they gave shit for no reason. And I Tweeted about it. Lots. And rather than simply handle it, they lied. And lied. And lied. They made this an issue of fat, instead of the issue of a growing lie they told that resulted in the worst example of customer service since Fords Theater sold Lincoln a seat. The resulting feeling in the press: fuck fat people. We’re still allowed to make fun of them. And if you eat that many donuts, you’re bound to take a bunch of shit(s).

Fuck you, media, for not looking any deeper than the sound bite that’ll sell a falsehood. I’ve been here telling you the other side of the story for a few days, and you’d rather dress people up in fat suits and guess at my weight. I’m starting to feel like Jim Garrison: look at the crazy, fat nut, pointing out inconsistencies in an official story – that crackpot. But I’ll take “crackpot” over the human-weasels that say I did this for publicity. Sweet whistling Moses – only a thin person could ever think any fat person would want this much attention called to their size.

WGN Radio’s John Williams discusses the issue in Part 2 of his uncut podcast on his February 15h podcast. He’s got Kev’s side of it, too (though still seems unclear on that falsely spreading news that Kevin CAN fit just fine into their crummy narrow seats).

Saskatchewan artist Max Heron has created an editorial-style comic depicting the incident and taking it to the media for attacking the issue in such an unfair way.

In some cases though, the media have been very fair. Comedian/writer Cathy Ladman contibutes a very pro-Kevin editorial to CNN. Here’s a peek:

…Kevin Smith, I feel your pain!

I cringe for the person who has to sheepishly ask for the seat belt extender because the one in the narrow little seat doesn’t make it around his body. The world is not built for fat people, and airplanes are not the place to look for gentle treatment.

I will not be surprised when airlines start to weigh people’s luggage at the ticket counter, and then ask the traveler to get on the scale and be charged by the pound. It’s coming, you watch. Or they will have bench seats on the airplanes, measure people as they board, and seat them accordingly.

Synopsis

Bear Nation is an exploration of a sub-culture that exists within the gay rainbow. The documentary is presented in the format of show and tell. Through conversations with subjects, experts, bear-lebrites and admirers, the piece will attempt to shine a light on this fresh and vibrant movement.

Director Bio – Malcolm Ingram

A lifelong interest in film led Malcolm Ingram to work at The Toronto International Film Festival at the tender age of 21. After 3 booze soaked years of schmooze, Ingram left the organization to pursue a writing career with the influential Film Threat Magazine. While on assignment for the magazine, Ingram met Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy, Dogma, Clerks) who soon became his mentor and financed his first feature film. DRAWING FLIES, shot in Vancouver, BC in the summer of 1995, starred rising talent Jason Lee and had a successful run on the festival circuit.

Ingram’s next feature was TAIL LIGHTS FADE and featured a high profile and talented cast including Denise Richards, Jake Busey, Elizabeth Berkeley and Margot Kidder. With these two features under his belt, Ingram delved into his psyche and decided to make something more meaningful. Fortunately, it was at the same time that he realized he had a fondness for dudes.

SMALL TOWN GAY BAR was Ingram’s third film and it screened at over 50 film festivals internationally (Including a successful sold out screening at Inside Out). It was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film festival and the GLAAD Media award for Best Documentary while winning THE HBO Award for Best Documentary in Miami and the Grand Jury Award at Outfest in Los Angeles.

Ingram recently finished his next gay opus BEAR NATION: LOOKING AT THE HISTORY AND IMPORTANCE OF FAT AND HAIR IN GAY – a documentary in seven parts.

Kevin and Malc’s Bear-themed SModcast should be available online sometime this weekend or early next week. Stay tuned.

With the film just 8 days away, you might wanna show your love for the film with some cool “Cop Out” swag. How about some for free? Gofobo has some pretty cool prizes up for grabs including hats, pins, gym bags, flashlights, and more. All you gotta do is fill out a form to enter. Good luck – Let’s see some News Askew fans win this stuff!

Had three seats/whole row for me & Jen. She skipped SF, so I went solo checked in and was given the 2 tix there & return 2 (for that p.m.).

Going out, even with 2 tix, I only sat in one seat, sleeping against window, w/empty seat between me and follow passenger. Coming back would have been the same, at 7pm. But I got to the airport early enough to try to bump-up my flight to 5:20 – a practice @SouthwestAir does often.

I was told 5:20 flight was packed, but I could go Standby. They sent me to gate. Told lady whole story, and she said there wouldn’t be two seats on that earlier flight. I said I only needed one seat & that I didn’t buy an extra seat because I’m fat (which I am), but because I’m anti-social and didn’t want to sit next to someone & possibly have to make convo (in person, I’m very shy). She said she understood. I was issued the solo ticket. I get on the plane: open seat in the front row. Put my bag away, the sit between two ladies. As I’m about to buckle my extender-less seatbelt, the woman who issued the ticket to me appeared in the doorway of the plane, came over to me and said the Captain said I wasn’t going to be allowed to sit there because I was a safety risk. I asked for clarification and was given none (also asked “Please don’t do this” but that, too, fell on deaf ears. Ladies on either side said I wasn’t a problem. SWA-lady said arm-rests the decider. Arm-rests come down, and voila! I’m legit! I’ve passed the stinkin’ arm-rest-test. And still, the lady asks me to get up and come with her off the plane. I get up without a fuss at all, quietly grab my bag, make eye contact with a fellow Fatty who was praying he’d pass, and leave. You think I wanna fuck around on an airplane? I was right: I fit in that seat. But I can’t risk not complying: I’m more afraid of AirFeds.

Reading all that, who the heck can blame Kevin for buying that extra seat just for a slight bit more privacy? We’d all love that. The issue here is, it seems that Southwest immediately translates any person buying two seats as someone who must be oversized. Really, really bad move there.

So let’s now get to the blog that Southwest issued as their public “apology”. Here’s a snippet:

The Captain did not single Kevin out to be removed, but he did ask that the boarding be completed quickly. At that time, our Employees made the decision to remove Kevin after a quick judgment call that he might have needed more than one seat for his comfort and those seated next to him.

Although I’m not here to debate the decision our Employees made, I can tell you that I for one have learned a lot today. The communication among our Employees was not as sharp as it should have been and, it’s apparent that Southwest could have handled this situation differently. Thanks, Kevin, for your passion around this topic. You were a reasonable guy during our conversation.

In this blog, they CONTINUE to claim that Kevin needed two seats. Keep in mind, on MANY MANY previous flights on this SAME airline, Kevin flew in a single seat, and was ALSO, prior to removal, comfortably belted into his seat on this flight, armest down.

Naturally, Kevin owed them another reply, and rather than clog twitter, posted his final words on this via the Silent Bob Speaks blog. Some snips:

“But the last paragraph is still all about your two seat rule. By including it, you guys are still saying I was Too Fat To Fly – or at least NOT correcting it. You even say ‘You’re not here to debate the decision the Employees made.’ But when we spoke, you told me they were wrong, and THAT’S why I was happy and ready to drop all this. I don’t want your money, I just want you to put in print what you told me: that I was grabbed because I was the last guy on, not because I didn’t fit with the arm rests down, or because I couldn’t buckle the seat belt. Because I did. And we both know this.”

I feel like a broken record with that stupid “But I could buckle and fit” shit. Pathetic, right? Grasping at any dignity straws. But that’s what you do when you’re kinda stripped of your dignity.

I could hear it in her voice: the sad frustration. Somewhere between the two phone calls, the bounty that was hinted at got a lot smaller. And while the apology is a little deeper now and more sincerely-worded than it was in the initial “apology” blog (thank you, Linda), it still infers that I need two seats to fly on Southwest Airlines.

…

You guys screwed up, SWA; why’s it so hard to own up to it? Now I’m gonna carry this Too Fat To Fly shit around like herpes for the rest of my life, and it was never even true.

So, Linda: I appreciate the effort you made, the time you spent with me on the phone, and the work you put into this. You, too, were a reasonable cat during our conversation.

But wrapping up with a repeating of that 2 seat policy (the one THAT HAS NO BEARING ON MY CASE) is a reminder that you guys haven’t learned anything: you’re still blaming it on the Fatty. Still, you tried. Thank you for that, Linda – and for being human.

Southwest, I appreciate you refunding my airfare. But if you’re not gonna admit I wasn’t Too Fat To Fly, then I’ll cover it.

Coverage on the situation continued on the web yesterday, with both Perez Hilton and CNN issuing new stories and updates on the blogs. For now, we’re going to go radio silent on this one as well, to allow Kevin to get back to the business at hand. After all, he’s got a new movie in theaters in a week and a half. Speaking of which…

Backstage.com has an interview with Guillermo Diaz, who plays the main villain in the film. In this piece he discusses movies vs. TV (he played a memorable character recently on Showtime’s “Weeds” and currently plays a much less menacing role on NBC’s “Mercy”), and drops quite a few tidbits about working on “Cop Out”. Here’s a snip:

For his most recent film role in “Cop Out,” Diaz had to audition for Smith. “It was just another audition,” he says. “I was in the middle of doing ‘Mercy,’ and my manager called and sent me the script. I went in and auditioned for the casting director, and she liked me and brought me in to meet Kevin Smith. It was a really quick process. I auditioned for him once, and then a week later we got the call that he wanted me for the role, and we started shooting right away. It was a really fast process. But it was great, an amazing experience, working with Kevin Smith, who is such a brilliant director. He is so smart, so witty, and so excited about his movies. Just working with him–wow, I feel really lucky that I got to work with Kevin Smith.”

If you prefer to listen your “Cop Out” press rather than read it, a 4-part roundtable (pieces of which you might have read or heard previously), enjoy these four links which take you to YouTube, but it’s all audio with stills peppered in. Lots of great stuff in this roundtable, including stuff on working with Bruce and Tracy, and Kevin’s thoughts on the trailer and marketing of the film. Overall, around 30 minutes of interview here.

“Cop Out” Roundtable Audio – Part 1
“Cop Out” Roundtable Audio – Part 2
“Cop Out” Roundtable Audio – Part 3
“Cop Out” Roundtable Audio – Part 4

And finally, here’s one for the REAL fans — The IMDB reports that the great Ernie O’Donnell, childhood friend of Kevin’s and famous for his small roles in “Clerks”, “Chasing Amy”, “J&SBSB” and “Jersey Girl”, plays the role of a “Masked Man” in “Cop Out”. Way cool.

AEG LIVE AND THE UNION PRESENT: AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH
Monday April 12, 2010
McMENAMINS CRYSTAL BALLROOM
1332 W Burnside, Portland OR
Show 8 PM — All Ages Welcome — General Admission – 21+

TICKETS ON SALE SATURDAY FEBRUARY 20 @ 10AM

Tickets $50.00 (plus S/C) available at the Crystal Ballroom Box Office (open M-F 11:30am to 6 pm), all Ticketmaster locations, charge by phone 800.745.3000 or www.ticketmaster.com.

Presale will run FRIDAY FEB 19 from 10 AM to 10 PM – password: viewaskew

We’ll have a presale link for you here at News Askew as soon as possible, so you can bookmark and be ready for that presale on the 19th. As always, we love for the fans to grab the best seats in the house before the general public gets a shot at the tix. Stay tuned for that, and for now, clear April 12th on your calendars if you’re in the area.

I don’t know how you’re somehow finding a way to paint this as a portrait of Hollywood ego and excess run amok, but you flatter me, madam: I’m not that guy. One can’t have a giant-sized ass and a giant-sized ego (must… resist urge… to make… circa… 2004… JLo joke…). Your anger with me over what’s very clearly a case of an airline fucking up (then continuing to fuck up, compounding the fuck-up with mistruths and half-information) is better saved for those who SEEK extra privilege. I don’t and certainly didn’t in this case. I wanted nothing more nor less than EVERY OTHER PASSENGER: to sit in the seat I paid for. That I fit into.*

Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to have to stress that point, over and over; but it’s the whole crux of their case, and it’s the central lie this whole affair is predicated upon. I’m not denying I’m fat at all; I’m denying their accusation that I didn’t fit in the seat – which is their entire justification for kicking me off the plane. And earlier, on Twitter, I already offered to prove I could easily fit into the seat in question (as well as buckle the seat belt) in front of a live studio audience. But contrary to the ramblings of all the chucklefucks who think this is good publicity for me, it sucks to have to subject myself to public scrutiny for what I look like. You think I dig being acknowledged for this dubious honor of Too Fat To Fly? Fifteen years of being “the CLERKS-guy” became TF-TF overnight. Awesome legacy.

The best piece we’ve seen done on the incident is this article and video piece from ABC WORLD NEWS last night. Yes, ABC WORLD NEWS! This has become quite a significant story, folks. Go watch that video, as we think it’s very pro-Smith and tells an interesting tale. While most airlines have such a policy, it seems that Southwest is the most notorious in the way they enforce it, which seems like a “whatever the staff decides to do” type of policy. Not good, SWA. Not good.

Obviously the gossip sites also love this kinda stuff. So for their unique spin on the story, you might also want to pay Perez Hilton and TMZ a visit. People Magazine also has a brief summary of their own.

What’s next? We’re not sure. Kevin’s been known to stick to his guns in situations like this, so we’ve got a feeling he’ll be very supportive as the uprising continues. In the meantime, we suggest you search for other airlines to fly. Send a message to these companies that customers come first. At least treat them with some dignity, regardless of size. And truth be told, despite their discount reputation, SWA’s pricing has been slowly creeping up past the point of affordability for flights here from the east coast. In fact, ever since the “bags fly free” promotions started to proliferate, it seems prices of the standard routes I’d seen in the past have gone up at LEAST more than it would cost me to add my bag fee to airlines that charge it. In other words, they’re not even that cheap anymore. If you want a cheap flight, check out www.kayak.com for a great fare (a site that Southwest, by the way, doesn’t allow its so-called “bargain” fares to scan). For me, Kayak beats Southwest rates every time these days.

More news later.

It all played out last evening as Kevin, via the twitter service, revealed that he was asked to leave a plane in his attempt to get home to Burbank from his weekend of gigs in San Francisco (he’d flown up there without incident on the same airline earlier in the week). In a very public forum, as the event played out on Twitter, Southwest Airline’s own PR department kicked into high gear on the service themselves, trying their best to do as much damage control as possible. But it was just too late.

Some select Kevin tweets from the incident:

Dear @SouthwestAir, I flew out in one seat, but right after issuing me a standby ticket, Oakland Southwest attendant Suzanne (wouldn’t give last name) told me Captain Leysath deemed me a “safety risk”. Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m stated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as “Silent Bob.”

And, hey? @SouthwestAir? I didn’t even need a seat belt extender to buckle up. Somehow, that shit fit over my “safety concern”-creating gut.

Hey @SouthwestAir! Sometimes, the arm rests are up because THE PEOPLE SITTING THERE ALREADY PUT THEM UP; NOT BECAUSE THEY “CAN’T GO DOWN.”

Hey @SouthwestAir? Fuck making it right for me just ’cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because “all passengers deserve their space.” Fucking flight wasn’t even full! Fuck your size-ist policy. Rude…

A brief editorial from us on the matter: It goes without saying, this is a complete mess. Let’s count the ways Southwest did wrong here. First off, and probably the biggest one, is the fact that they took Kevin’s pass and allowed him to board the flight. Even if Kevin made a flight change, the airline didn’t have to board him if they didn’t want him on the plane. In looking at Kevin’s earlier tweets, his initial anger stemmed from the fact that they took his ticket, got him seated, settled and buckled in, luggage stowed, THEN wanted him to leave the plane? Ridiculous. The proper way to handle that, if they truly felt he was a “safety risk”, was to not take his ticket and get him on a different flight. Still an inconvenience, but a LOT less inconvenient than what happened last night.

Let’s talk about the whole twitter situation as well. Companies around the world have embraced the use of Twitter as a way to track customer satisfaction. That’s good. However, Southwest has really hurt themselves by trying to handle this situation in such a public way. If they MUST say something, a simple tweet would suffice. Their continued reassurances of trying to handle the situation just makes it look worse. Why? Let’s say you or I had the same thing happen and tweeted it. Would the SWA twitter account bat an eyelash towards us in public? Not a chance. Would they contact us in private to try and resolve? Maybe. But that’s the way to do it. It doesn’t matter if your client is Kevin Smith, Joe Schmoe, or Bill Gates — Don’t go out of your way to try and impress us with all this public concern because the customers’s got a platform of 1.6 million to talk to. I’d like to think that if I had a gripe with Southwest, they’d do something to help me out as well. You just get the feeling they’re doing this for him, but for John Q. Public, there wouldn’t be nearly as much attention given. As of presstime, they’ve even issued a blog about the incident which completely ignores the most essential aspects of the story — Kevin flew on their planes, both ways, in a single seat of the aircraft, without incident. They also neglected to mention the most imporant part – They BOARDED him, SEATED him, filled up the plane, THEN asked him to get up and leave? Come on.

So in short, and this goes to all of those companies monitoring a twitter feed – It’s great if you want to use twitter to monitor customer concerns, but take your actions to resolve them private. We’re sure that customers who get stuff straightened out would be just as happy to tweet their positive experiences back as well. Let the customer do it — Don’t try and make an example of how far you to help people, unless you do it for EVERYONE, not just those of us with millions of fans on twitter.

Tonight, Kevin takes to the air with a SPECIAL EDITION of SModcast he’s calling SWodcast. In this episode, he’ll detail the entire experience in his own words. We can’t wait to hear the full details. Kevin’s not out for any sort of restitution, or any sort of legal matters, he just wants everyone to hear what’s going down. For others who have had similar treatment, here’s your justice. As for Southwest, they’ve got a lot of apologizing to do to make up for this one — And they’d better be on top of other tweets regarding customer service issues, and give just as much attention as they’ve attempted to give this situation, or you bet we’ll hear about that, too.

For another summary, hit up the New York Daily News who ran a story about it all.

Check back with News Askew later today, as we continue to cover this developing story.