“As a courtesy to those who have questions/expressed puzzlement/are already complaining about the news of JMS and me going exclusive with Marvel, I’ve fashioned a sort of FAQ out of the big queries from the talk-back thread following the story,” wrote Smith. “I can’t provide all the answers, but hopefully, this will shed a bit of light on the why’s and how’s of the deals that might not have been clear.”

Q: Wouldn’t it make more sense to put Smith on a new Spider-man book and keep JMS on AMZ?

Had I gone into Quesada’s office and said “Let me write ‘AMZ’,” yes – it would’ve made more sense. However, when Joe approached me about going exclusive with Marvel, JMS leaving AMZ was already a done deal. Joe had informed me that JMS was being given his own Spider-Man book, so that maintaining the monthly schedule that ‘AMZ’ demands would no longer be a problem. I asked who was going to take over ‘AMZ’, and Joe told me they hadn’t lined up that writer yet. I suggested getting a woman to write it – because how great would that be? Marvel’s flagship title being written by a woman? As there aren’t enough women writing comics, I thought that’d be a great message to send to the mainstream media – “At Marvel, You Don’t Have to Be Under-Sexed to Write Comics.” However, Joe declined, confessing that he’s afraid of girls, because they’re “Icky.” At this point, I suggested what I considered to be the closest thing to a woman writing the book: ME writing the book (as I’m hung like a woman, and have boobs about as big as a few of them). Joe scoffed at the idea, because I’ve got this reputation for being late with books. I told him that wouldn’t be the case here, and that they should take yet another page out of DC’s Playbook and wait until they had a bunch of scripts out of me before they even solicited any of my issues. Joe said that, like every idea Marvel has stolen from DC over the course of the last year or two, this was another good one, and he’d be implementing it and insisting that he and Bill Jemas invented it. Then they’d throw pies at one another or something. At this point, he started talking to himself excitedly, and I quietly left the room.

Q: I guess Spidey’s readers can look forward to Peter performing oral sex on Mary Jane, a homosexual Aunt May preying on a homeless prostitute, and a soul-less Spider-Man argueing with himself in Heaven as readers are forced to struggle through yet another convoluted resurrection tale.

Oh, thanks. Way to spoil my first issue of “Amazing.” Now I’ve gotta come up with something else entirely. Curse your brilliance, sir! Curse it!

Q: It also sucks that he welched on his word to DC and the fans to do Brave and the Bold. If you say you are going to do something do it.

I plan to. Just not right now. After fifteen issues of ‘Green Arrow’, I’m a little burned-out on writing within the DCU right now. After a few years of Marvel stuff, I’ll be ready to use my brain again, at which point I’ll do ‘Brave and Bold’.

Q: Anyone know if Scott Morse is still slated to do that Bartlby & Loki book?

When that book happens, it’ll, indeed, be drawn by Scott Morse.