• Since the announcement of the Clerks’ series coming on ABC at the end of this month after all, it looks like the final touches were put on the OFFICIAL Clerks Cartoon website, and it’s now online! There’s already a lot of new content out there, including some behind the scenes stuff, episode info, and more, with more on the way. Another slick-looking site to join the View Askew ranks. Ming did another fantastic job. Be sure and check out the new offical Clerks Cartoon site at www.clerksthecartoon.com.

In related news, artist extraordinaire Chris Bailey just announced that the final bits of the show were finished and “in the can”. Here’s Chris:

• Wow, this was some unexpected but very welcome news indeed! Kevin made a surprise post today with details on everything that’s been going on, and spilled the beans on the timeframe AND film lineup for the next Vulgarthon (This OCTOBER!). You can bet we’ll be at that one. At any rate, here’s Kevin with all the details on what’s been going on, and good news for those of you who wanted to see Clerks TCS (though bad news for those of you who wanted to see it UNCUT):

• ALL NUDE NEWS!!!!

  Alright – so it’s partially-clad news.

  So here’s the deal: after months of speculation – both by me and a slew of other cats who aren’t me – about what’s going to happen to the ‘Clerks’ cartoon, I can finally spill my guts.

  It’s going to air on ABC.

  Not that big a shock, right? Some have expected it, others thought we’d be buying it back through Miramax and releasing it as a feature. Believe me – that was almost what happened. For the last two months, it’s what we were gearing up for. Framing devices to link the episodes were planned (including my favorite suggestion by Paul Dini: a ‘Song of the South’ approach, with a modern-day Uncle Remus – which Rock would’ve been perfect for – spinning yarns about B’rer Dante, B’rer Randal, and that rascally B’rer Jay), and as soon as contracts were signed, the re-realization of six episodes into one feature would’ve began. But then Mosier and I thought about it, long and hard, and opted against. At the end of the day, it was never conceived as a flick, and trying to force it into the mold of one would only diminish what we’d accomplished with the episodes. This was born a tv show, and it’ll die (ratings-wise, no doubt) a tv show. But when all’s said and done, at least you guys and gals – the hardcore fans – will get to see it for free.

  So on May 31st, you’ll be able to tune in and watch what we and all the fine folks who actually labored on the shows spent the last year working on. No telling if all six will make it to air (remember – this is the network that cancelled Pete Berg’s excellent ‘Wonderland’ after only two eps); I guess that has a lot to do with the ratings. Hopefully, since there’s only six, and it’s only summer, ABC will let ‘em all see the light of day…

  Not without cuts, of course. For those of you who caught the ‘Clip Show’ episode at some of my college gigs, you got to see the ‘Flinstones List’ gag which will not air when ‘Clip Show’ runs during week two. Deemed too offensive by the network’s standards and practices, it’ll be sliced out – as will a handful of other jokes from other episodes (depsite the fact that the network’s running a disclaimer at the top of each episode). For all their uncut glory, you’ll have to pick the eps up on video when Miramax eventually releases them (with video intros by yours truly), somewhere down the road.

  It sucks, but it’s not my network, and I don’t call the shots (or the cuts). At least they’re finally going to be seen.

  And be seen they will. The great irony is that even if we get some shitty ratings (like, say, a five share), we’ll still have reached more folks in a single sitting than have seen any of our flicks singly in theatrical release. An example of this: ‘Wasteland’, the other cursed Miramax tv production that ABC also dumped, got around a five share on its worst night. A five share equals a little over five million viewers. Multiply that by the average ticket price of six bucks, and you’ve got an equivalent box office gross of thirty million – which is what ‘Dogma’ made and was considered a hit at. Go figure.

  It’s been a weird, strange trip, our foray into tv-land. It’s odd that this is how it all ends. Let me tell you – I have a great, newfound respect for anybody that can keep a show on tv for more than a season (hell, even a crappy one). It’s a lot tougher than it looks (which doesn’t explain ‘Two Guys and a Girl’ at all).

  Whew. Onto other stuff.

  The first of the two hinted at announcements from the other day was going to be the ‘Clerks’ cartoon movie, which we’ve dealt, and isn’t happening. The other announcement is also something that’s not going to come to fruition, but I’ll tell you what it was anyway.

  We were going to open a movie theatre in Red Bank.

  There’s this dinner theatre across from the diner on Monmouth Street that shuttered a few months back. We were in negotiations to pick it up, throw in some projectors, and turn it into ‘Jay and Silent Bob’s Groovy Movies’, which would’ve been a rep house, showing all manner of flicks that have gone the way of video. For example, our inaugural month would’ve been Comics in Film month, and we would’ve shown ‘Batman’ one week, ‘Superman’ the next, etc., etc. You get the idea – all flicks that you could easily watch on video, but would be cool to see again on the big screen.

  Regardless, we opted in the end to let it go, as the rent was ultimately too cost prohibitive. Rest assured – this is something we’ll get around to doing one day, as it’s too cool an idea not to do. But when we do it, it’ll be at a lot less than a hundred grand a year lease.

  That being said, I read with great interest the speculation that the announcements were going to have something to do with another Vulgarthon – so much so that we started asking ourselves “Hey – when are we going to have another Vulgarthon?”

  And I have an answer.

  Vulgarthon 2000 will be held in October – more than likely on Halloween. Costumes are not required, but we’re going to give out some sweet prizes to those who do come dressed as various View Askew characters (swallow your dignity and win a poster!). The lineup is going to be as follows:

• ‘Mallrats’
• Bryan Johnson’s ‘Vulgar’
• Brian Lynch’s ‘Big Helium Dog’
• Malcolm Ingram’s ‘Drawing Flies’

  If Vincent’s ‘A Better Place’ is not on DVD at that point, it too will be added to the mix. We’ll be holding the event at ol’ faitful herself – The White Street Cinema (home of the ‘Dogma’ benefit, as well as the original ‘Vulgarthon’), which mean there’s only just shy of five hundred seats to go around. No clue as to who’ll be attending, and tickets won’t go on sale until the end of summer. Should be loads of fun.

  Funny, isn’t it? Another Vulgarthon was about the farthest thing from my mind the other day, until you guys started speculating about it. Now, it’s virtually a reality. Well done.

  And the final bit of news is about the next flick. We’ve decided what it’s going to be. For the fifth and final View Askewniverse film, we present….

  Nah – too early. That’s enough good news for one day.

PART THREE
(Click Picture To Download Movie)

• We realize that the last one didn’t work, but we personally tested this one and we’re happy to report that it’s working just fine. So, finally, like a year after the appearance it seems, here’s the final part in Quicktime format. As always, get the latest Quicktime to make sure it works. This part features the most popular gags, including the Eisner jab. Again, we apologize for taking so long to get videos to ya, if we ever get a decent piece of capture equipment or can figure out why Chris’s stopped working properly, we’ll get better at this.

• This E! Online story has “official word” that plans for a May 31st premiere of the Clerks toon are still a go. Then again, that’s what ABC is saying. We’re not sure what to think at this point, but figured you’d want to take a gander. They even plug our website in a bit about Patrick Swayze:

To Clerk or Not to Clerk? That is the question, with conflicting reports about whether director Kevin Smith’s much-awaited Clerks: The Animated Series will ever make it on the air.

Controversy has swirled around the project since ABC moved the premiere date from February or March to May 31 after Michael J. Fox announced May 24’s Spin City season finale would be his last show. Clerks would take over in Spin City’s time slot after Spin’s season finale.

The move didn’t sit well with Smith, who was very vocal about his displeasure in being scheduled during the “dry gulch that is the summer,” a move that, Smith says in a post to his official Website, will ensure the show’s failure.

More recently, Smith has been telling fans at his public-speaking appearances that he doubts the show will ever make it on air at all, and he’s investigating the possibility of Miramax (another ABC/Disney affiliate) purchasing the six episodes of the cartoon and releasing them theatrically.

But here’s the official word from an ABC rep: Plans for the May 31 premiere are still a go. All I know is that I’m dying to see the episodes–the sooner, the better.

Smith screened a couple of them during the aforementioned speaking engagements, including a “flashback” installment that has Dante and Randal riffing on everything from Saturday-morning cartoons to how much The Phantom Menace sucked.

Patrick Swayze Has No Sense of Humor One more note about the Clerks ‘toon: Episode three of the show features Randal freaking out about a new pet store that opens in town. And the pet shop is manned by “down on his luck” actor Patrick Swayze, who eventually leaves his job after telling Randal and Dante that he’s gotten a part in the latest Adam Sandler movie. The really funny part, though, is that, according to the News Askew Website, the show originally had the Swayze character admit that he had been fired from the pet store, but it was changed when Swayze threatened to sue. Apparently, his reps, who did not return phone calls to comment, were concerned that the suggestion that he was fired from a pet store would be damaging to his career. Two words: Father Hood.

• For those of you who’ve seen it, you know that Kevin once again made a kick-ass appearance on HBO’s Dennis Miller Live show on Friday night, chatting about his unexpected popularity (when Miller proclaimed Kev was the most requested guest on the internet), God, the bible, and even getting in a dig on the whole ABC situation. Our scooper sends in a play by play summary:

The show reruns TONIGHT on HBO for those of you that may have missed it on Friday.

• Well, it doesn’t sound like Kev’s at ALL happy about the move of Clerks TCS to the summer TV season. His fears are certainly warranted, but we’re still hopeful that the ABC press machine as well as our updates here and the strong word of mouth can save the show. Read on for that, Kev’s explanation on the Dogma DVD commentary recording and other DVD details, Kev’s thoughts on the suits, his SNL experience, and lots lots more. This is probably the most informative and action-packed post of the past year, folks. Check it out:

We give the Kyra Sedgewick show about 4 weeks, maximum. Shame they’re wasting a prime slot on that. Damn shame. We’re happy that the Clerks TCS shows were made, but really sad to hear that the prognosis is really BAD. However, the next announcement sounds interesting, and may have us shutting down our C2 subpage for something greater…Wait and see!

• Yes, we realize that it’s a bit later than you’d all hoped, but we now have a final date when the first episode of Clerks:The Cartoon Series will air on ABC. May 31st. This is still a few months off, but gives the show a prime spot as most other networks start airing reruns for the summer. With nothing new to watch, Clerks should draw in an even larger audience. Variety says:

You can read Variety’s complete story, which runs down some other new shows that ABC has planned for Spring and Summer, HERE.

• In a rarely-seen move, the cable network Comedy Central has bought first network broadcast rights to Dogma! If for some crazy reason you miss the film theatrically AND on DVD/VHS AND on pay cable (shame on you), you can catch it on CC sometime in the year 2002. At any rate, it’ll be fun to see what they change some of Kev’s dialogue too (remember that Mallrats ABC debacle)?

• If you’re anything like us (and we sadly assume that at least some of you are), you’re eagerly anticipating the arrival of Clerks : The Animated Series on the tube early next year. We’ve heard tidbits about the show in the past as they’ve come across the pipeline, but never really had a large collection of everything that’s been going on with the show. So, we’re proud to present our Clerks: The Animated Series section. To start it off, we’ve got a short summary of each of the shows (thanks to scooper Tom above), and will hopefully continue with exclusive artwork, sketches, clips, and the like, with continuous updates as the shows begin to air. Not much there yet, but this will be your spot to go for all the latest on the show. Enjoy.

• Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks, you’re probably already aware that the long-awaited special on MTV airs tonight. Jay & Silent Bob’s Video Stash features 8 (Not 11, as we erroneously stated before. Thanks, Kevin. We need to start verifying some of these sources!) shorts featuring the duo, along with classic View Askew videos (“Can’t Even Tell”, from Clerks, and “Build Me Up Buttercup” from Mallrats), some other stuff from your childhood (part 1 of Cyndi Lauper’s rarely-seen “Goonies R Good Enough” video), and of course introductions/general wackiness from crew Askew.

Set the VCRs and huddle up to the sets! The show airs at 10 PM eastern time, 9 PM central, and, we believe, 10 PM pacific time (on delay). We think the special’s gonna give View Askew some excellent publicity…Along with the spots which will air sporadically over the coming months, the special will introduce the characters to a new audience, as well as please all of us current die-hard fans. We’re sure they’ll be plugging Oni Press’s comics as well, and maybe even getting a “Dogma” mention or two in there.

Enjoy the show!