Archive for May 8th, 2000

Commentary

May 8th @ 6:09 pm | No Comments » | Scooped by Brad & Chris

Hey all. Wow, it’s a new week and we’re still kinda in shell shock over having the new site online. After spending an incredible amount of our spare time on it, and keeping it mostly a secret, it’s almost hard to believe that everything is done and online. It’s a great feeling, though, seeing the site work and all of you using the talkback areas and stuff. Thanks for sticking with us. We’re starting to fall back into our old routine again, and it’s nice to see ya here.

Well, we’re in the middle of a heatwave now here in Pennsylvania, but it’s a nice change from the unseasonably cold spring we’d had just a couple weeks ago. Still, Spring’s the best season and it seems like this year went from winter right into summer. And the heat doesn’t make all the yard and landscaping work outside any more fun, that’s for sure.

We’ve got a couple good stories for ya today, including the latest on Dr. Kevin Smith’s commencement speech (yep, you heard that right, DOCTOR SMITH)…And an interesting mailing regarding the Clerks Cartoon series. Let’s have a looksee:

Filed in: News

Kevin Speaks & Commencement, Receives Honorary Doctorate

May 8th @ 6:07 pm | No Comments » | Scooped by Nate, Jade & Bill Whirity

  • Dammit, why couldn’t Kevin have been at MY college commencement? Sounds like a fantastic speech was given by the man. We received quite a few accounts of the speech but all were quite similar, here’s one [from Jade] we thought summed it up pretty well. Thanks to all our scoopers above for sending in their reports from the scene, too.
Kevin received his honorary doctoral degree today at Illinois Wesleyan University,and his commencement address was very entertaining. He told his “Superman Lives” story with the dumb producer (Jon Peters) who wanted the giant spider and urged his “fellow classmates” to not turn out to be that guy because “some jack-off (pronounced jag-off) will come to commencement and make fun of you to a lot of strangers someday…” (not an exact quote) He also entertained us with made up nostalgia for his fellow classmates, using random names from the program “Remember when we bought that pound of hashish…Remember when we had that three-way…” He made say anything analogies, and gave great advice on “things he wish he knew before going out into the real world” (Length is what matters, not width) as well as “things he wish he knew before trying out for MTV’s The Real World” (Fat guys need not apply) The address was highlighted by his usual self deprecating humor and maybe a joke bashing my college, ISU, which is the dumb school down the road. Anyhow, it was very cool. I got the pleasure of meeting Dr. Smith and he was totally gracious, gladly taking pictures and signing things for everyone who asked. It was very cool.

Another scooper [Nate] says, “I was deeply honored that he was present at my graduation.” All we can say is that sounds like the way a commencement SHOULD be! Congrats on the honor, Dr. Smith, and on another crowd-pleasing appearance. We’re betting colleges all over the place are gonna be jockeying for the guy to speak more than ever.

Filed in: News

Miramax Mail Urges Clerks Fans To Watch…

May 8th @ 6:06 pm | No Comments » | Scooped by Martin

  • This is sort of a strange one…A mailing list for those interested in the Clerks Cartoon Series sent out a mailer late this morning that was a bit sarcastic but also had some interesting stuff to say (including that they’re showing the episodes out of order which, if we’re not mistaken, ruins the entire joke of Episode 2, which was originally going to run a week after episode 1, naturally). At any rate, the good things it says are to watch the show and get lots of others behind it, and there’s a chance for it to continue. Somehow we’re not so sure of that…
    To everyone who signed up for the Clerks – the cartoon mailing list:

    We hope you weren’t expecting too much from just filling in your e-mail address into a little box on our website. In fact we almost didn’t send this out at all but then we thought it would be pretty stupid to miss out on this chance at a free plug for the Premiere of Clerks (The Premiere airs on Wednesday May 31st at 9:30pm EST and airs every Wednesday after that at..you guessed it.. 9:30pm EST)

    We’re also here to plug the website for the show at:

    http://www.clerksthecartoon.com

    So here are a few scoops which you wouldn’t have received had you not graciously signed up for this mailing list. First to calm those who may have heard bad news about the show – YES, It really is going to air,contrary to what you may have heard a few weeks back.. from one of the creators no less. Secondly, there will initially be SIX episodes with a possibility for more if you follow along with the instructions of this message and do the following:

    1) Watch Every episode
    2) Tell everyone you know to watch every episode
    3) Buy every product that is advertised during the episodes

    #3 is kind of optional but it would really really help. Besides, I think the ads are for cool products anyway, so really, we both come out winners.

    Secondly, those six episodes will be airing in the following order:

    Episode 4
    Episode 2
    Episode 3
    Episode 5
    Episode 1
    Episode 6

    1 being the first episode created and 6 being the last. They’ve been mixed up to make things more fun.

    So please, be sure to visit the website (www.clerksthecartoon.com) and watch the show every Wednesday night at 9:30pm EST on ABC starting on May 31st.

    In fact, just keep your TVs tuned to ABC and leave it on for the next 10 weeks.

    Clerks. Only on ABC beginning on Wednesday May 31st at 9:30pm EST

    Our two cents: This e-mail seems awfully bitter with a more network perspective than a show perspective. At least they took the time to send SOMETHING out, though as our scooper suggests, we’re sure that Kevin or Dave Mandel or someone would have loved to have written a bit more for this mail to help plug the show. Then again, who knows. Just sounds more like ABC propaganda than SHOW propaganda to us. And how does mixing up the episode order make things “more fun”? We’re stumped.

    All the same, WE’RE urging you to tune in. Tell your friends, your families. It’s a good show. You’ll enjoy it. Be happy that you’re getting the chance to see it, since we kinda think it came close to getting buried forever. Tune in on ABC this May 31st.

    • Filed in: Clerks, News, Television

    View Askew NewsBites™

    May 8th @ 6:04 pm | No Comments » | Scooped by Rob Miller, Samuel Zimmerman & Patrick Mohan

    • It turns out that all three parts of Kevin’s iF interview ARE online. The links are on the left hand side, right below Kev’s quote about having to have stars cast.
    • Stuff Magazine (the counterpart to the very cool men’s magazine “Maxim”) has this to say about the Clerks Cartoon:
    Clerks
    ABC, Premieres May 31
    The Voices of Brian O’Halloran, Alec Baldwin, Jeff Anderson and Kevin Smith

    Kevin Smith has simultaneously bagged himself the easiest and toughest job in Hollywood. First, the cakewalk: In the animated TV re-creation of his belly-splitting, overly funny slacker flick, he’ll collect a Mankind-size paycheck for simply serving up the voice of Silent Bob. The stinky end of the stick? As a creator of the show, he also has to make hanging out at a New Jersey convenience store hilarious on a weekly basis-without using one curse word or showing anyone stoned off his ass.

    One short-term solution will be to flex his celebrity-pal pecs. Among the guest shoppers are James Woods, Gwyneth Paltrow, Charles Barkley, and Chris Rock, who, naturally, provides the voice of Patrick Swayze. Smith has also upped the ante with intriguing plotlines such as attempts to destroy the world and a very special Blossom-like episode in which Dante the cashier confronts his homophobia. But will the TV Clerks still have enough of the film’s caustic bite? “We’re going to try and be funny without being crude,” Smith Says. “It will be fun to try to figure out 95 nice ways to say ‘blow job’. Which would make my mom really proud.”

    • Finally today, a scooper created a funny little Jay & Silent Bob animation based on a scene you might remember. You can watch it HERE.

    Filed in: News