Been reading all your thoughts – ecstatic, good, bad, and horrific. Much appreciated on all fronts. For those who dug – thanks; we liked the show too. For those who felt let-down – we tried (to do well, that is; not to let you down).

Here are my thoughts on our first airing of ‘Clerks’ last night.

We threw a little shindig here, during which I barbecued, folks drank, and we shared an ice cream cake that read “Fuck the critics. Clerks Rules.” I watched the show with the love of my life, our kid, the really funny friend I created the show with (Mandel), Mosier’s proxy (his other half, Monica; Mosier was out of town, and was missed), two of my oldest friends, the friend who nudged me into filmmaking in the first place, my amazing and supportive parents-in-law, the guy who made our first film so memorable, and his lady (who was the voice of Nicole Corwin – the surprise witness). We had a great time, and were particularly fond of the ‘bumpers’ (those things before the commercials that identify the program and the network), as it made the show feel official. Afterwards, I fielded calls from well-wishers (including Mewes, who opted to watch it with his mom at home), and then we cruised the board and read reaction with great interest, delight, and eye-rolling, talking for hours about the past, the present, the future, and how delighted Mewes was to meet the guy who played ‘Spawn’ at the Television Critics Association press conference back in Feb/March. When the evening ended around three in the morning, I cleaned up a bit, smoked a cigarette, and climbed into bed next to the wife, falling asleep pretty soon after.

All in all, a great night, and one I’m not likely to forget.

All your reactions are valid. None of you are right or wrong. At the end of the day, they have as much or as little impact as my emotional/psychological filters allow. Again, though – I do so appreciate hearing from anyone who took the time to register their thoughts.

But here are mine.

Understand, seven or eight years ago when I sat down at a clunky old Smith Corona Word Processor (which was essentially an electric typewriter that converted into something slightly more high-tech when you attached the disk drive and the screen to it) and started banging out a story about guys who work in a convenience store, I never really thought anyone outside of my friends and some cats in the Monmouth county area would see it. I never dreamed it would get released nationally in arthouses, or that it would travel abroad. I never imagined that it would give me a career in the entertainment biz. And most of all, I never… NEVER, NEVER, NEVER… fathomed that it would lead, for one brief, shining moment, to me having (and being one of the stars of) my very own cartoon. Remembered fondly, or remembered as a debacle, that’ll warm me for the rest of my life in such a way that I can’t do justice here.

What a weird and wonderful trip it’s been. Thanks for taking the ride with me (or at least standing by the side of the road, praying I careen into an embankment).

If all goes well, next year brings an end to the ten year journey (from seeing ‘Slacker’ in ‘91 and making the decision to be a filmmaker, to the last outing for our Jersey stoner duo) that has been the View Askewniverse proper. We’ll be closing the book on Jay, Bob, Dante, Randal, Brodie, Holden, Banky, Alyssa, Bartleby, Loki and all the other characters who populated our filthy little soap opera, and maybe starting a new volume with stories that don’t rely or trade off on the memory of the others. The ‘Clerks’ cartoon was (is) an important chapter in that unnecessarily metaphorical book that has been my film career, and can stand shoulder to shoulder with the other stuff we’ve done, as far as I’m concerned. For that chapter, I thank Scott, Dave, Brian, Steve, O’Halloran, Jeff, Mewes, Phil, Ari, Billy, Sloss, Harvey, Bob, Angela, Bush, Bailey and everyone else who worked on the show or made it possible (hell – even Eisner, Iger, Bloomberg and Braun). You all made a life-long cartoon lover from Jersey very, very happy.

Thanks for indulging that momentary burst of sentimentality. We now return you to Lucifer Lyndon Razoodock’s unending musings about ‘Dogma’ (and for the record, tom – I was a huge ‘Exorcist III’ fan too’).

While CBS was getting great news from Survivor, ABC was bombing with its premiere of Clerks (3.5/10 in 18-49, 5.2/9 in homes). Luckily, ABC kept this slacker out of the regular season, because it didn’t even approach satisfactory retention levels Wednesday night relative to its lead-in from Drew Carey (5.9/17 in 18-49, 9.2/16 in homes). While slot regular Spin City generally retained about 90 percent of its 18-49 lead-in from Drew, Clerks settled for a mere 59 percent.

Clerks” Debuts as the No. 1 Program in Teens and Holds the No. 2 Position Among Adults 18-34 and Adults 18-49

* From 9:30-10:00 p.m., the debut of ABC’s animated series, “Clerks,” earned a second-place finish in its half-hour among Adults 18-49 (3.5/10) and Adults 18-34 (3.7/11), behind only NBC’s coverage of the NBA Conference Finals. In addition, “Clerks” took first place in the time slot among Teens (2.7/10).

People Magazine – Review – Negative
CNN.COM – Article – Tackling the Mouse House: ‘Clerks’ creator brings animation to small screen on ABC
Playboy.Com – Article, Positive
Mutant Reviewers From Hell – Review, Positive

SEINFELD SNUBS KEVIN SMITH

Jery Seinfield usually jumps at the chance to do comedy–except when the joke’s on him. The comic recently turned down a cameo as himself in diector Kevin Smith’s new animated series, Clerks, based on his 1994 movie about a suberban convenience store. Smith tells Hot Stuff. In a sketch about celebrity encounters, Seinfeld (whose voice was eventually done by Hollywood Squares regular Gilbert Gottfried) walks into the store, starts doing one of his “Did you ever wonder?” routines and gets rudely interrupted by the show’s main characters, Dante and Randal. Similar ribbing didn’t intimidate Gwyneth Paltrow, who plays herself pleading to rent a video after Randal tells her they have no record of her. “But I have a membership–Paltrow, Gwyneth,” the Cadamy Award-winning actress says in the sketch. Others who take hits are Matt Daman, who gets a drink tosses at thim and is nearly run over by a car, and Ben Affleck, who gets ridiculed in the credits for starring in the flop Reindeer Games.

“Clerks”: As a former clerk in a convenience store (and a darn good one, except for the meatball incident), I must stress that this animated comedy’s portrayal of clerks is neither accurate nor fair. I am trying to interest national clerking organizations in a protest, but their response thus far has been: “Whatever.”

“Clerks” (8:30 p.m., WLS-Ch. 7) is spun off of the 1994 independent movie that brought director Kevin Smith to fame. Smith, who would go on to make movies including “Chasing Amy” and the recent “Dogma,” is involved here, as well; in fact, he showed he has not lost that indie spirit by protesting ABC’s decision to delay the launch of his show until after the official TV season wasover.

All six episodes will air this summer and, from the curt way ABC explains that, bet that there will be only six episodes. It’s too bad because this has some of the same slacker charm as the movie, albeit with cleaner language.

There’s a bit too much humor of the style that has one guy say “it’s as easy as driving a car,” followed by a crash. But the needler-and-needlee relationship between the lead clerks grows on you, and there are also some clever pop-culture parodies, including an episode that lampoons the movie “Outbreak” and the nimble Japanimation riff in Wednesday’s debut.

At least, I suspect that it is in the debut. Here’s the actual sentence from the ABC news release: “The first episode on the tape, episode four, is scheduled to air as the series premiere.” It takes someone above clerk level, someone like a manager or even an owner, to figure out that kind of language.

#1 (Wednesday Morning)

Previous Information Regarding An On-Air Millionaire-like game, where Kev was called by Howard as a lifeline…>

Director Kevin Smith, who owns a comic book store, was on the phone to help answer the ”Darkside” question. Howard broke the news that his cartoon ”Clerks” did pretty well last night. Gary had given Howard the ratings break down from last night earlier in the show. ”Clerks” beat out the showing of ”Species” on CBS but was also beaten by the basketball game that was on against it. The game had a 21 rating while ”Clerks” had a respectable 7.6. Howard told Kevin that he still wants to see it so Kevin said he’d send him all 6 episodes. KC liked the cartoon but Fred didn’t. Kevin it was nice to hear Fred’s honesty. Kevin said that the next week’s show could be be the last to air, since the other four shows were labeled with a date “To Be Announced.”

#2 (Thursday Morning):

For the third day in a row Kevin was on Howard again!!! Kevin acted as a lifeline for Howard as Howard played “Who Wants to be a Robin Radzinski Millionaire.” The prize being the chance to feel Robin Radzinski’s breasts. The question that had Howard stumped was “What Fantastic Four Villian lived in Latveria?” Stuttering John offered another lifeline in Ralph, the show set designer. Howard replied, “I’m going with Kevin Smith.” Kevin got to plug Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash and joked about being a show regular. He gave Howard the right answer which is Dr. Doom. Just so you know, Howard did win the the prize (he lost yesterday).