PLOT: When Jay and Silent Bob learn that a “Bluntman and Chronic” movie is being made featuring their comic book counterparts, they drool at the thought of fat movie checks rolling in. But when the pair find that there won’t be any royalties coming their way, they set out to sabotage the flick at all costs.

The stoner duo makes the cross-country trip from New Jersey to Hollywood and along the way they meet up with a quartet of sexy diamond thieves (that’s Chrissy, Sissy, Missy and Justice)…and an orangutan. The escaped orangutan gets a federal wildlife marshal on their tail, and the whole shebang climaxes as Jay and Silent Bob make it to the Mirmax lot, crashing through the sets of a whole bunch of movies, both real and imaginary. And, oh, yeah – the “secret origin” of Jay and Silent Bob is finally revealed!

THE SCOOP: Smith swears up and down that his fifth movie is the final chapter in the “view Askew-niverse” series of films featuring Jay, Silent Bob and the gang. “Who knew this was going to be a career?” he asks. “We’ll do a pretty good job of closing the book on this phase before heading into the next.” In terms of “next,” Smith is looking to possibly turn his attention to more “serious” films. Leftover loose ends? They’ll be addressed in a different format. “Whatever plot threads might be left, I like to call ‘comic stories.’ They’ll eventually end up as an issue of the comics,” Smith says, referring to his line at Image Comics. In the meantime, look for cameos from almost every actor from Smith’s previous flicks in an effort to wrap things up tightly. Chris Rock, Alanis Morissette, Joey Lauren Adams, Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Shannen Doherty and George Carlin will all appear. New faces appear, too: The “Star Wars” pair of Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher will have roles, as will ever-present Smith comic book buds such as Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada and “Batman Beyond” Producer Paul Dini. Oh, yeah – and one top-secret, unnamed Marvel Comics character will actually make a fully sanctioned appearance!

-Jim McLauchlin

Major Players: Kevin Smith (writer, director, Silent Bob), Scott Mosier (producer), Jason Mewes (Jay), Ben Affleck (himself and Holden), Matt Damon (himself), Will Ferrell (Marshal Wilenholly), Jason Lee (Brodie & Banky), Ali Later, Jennifer Smith, Eliza Dushku, Shannon Elizabeth (Chrissy, Sissy, Missy and Justice), Mirmax (studio) Status: Filming wrapped in early April. Post-production work cruises along. Release Date: August 10, 2001

“FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD WALL-CLERK” – Daredevil and Green Arrow writer Kevin Smith may have another project in the works at the House of Ideas. The fan-favorite writer/director/actor might try his hand penning an adventure starring a certain wall-crawling Web-head for Marvel.