The director would like to thank

God — He who keeps my heart beating, and keeps me appreciative, and scared.
Jenny — She who keeps my heart beating, and keeps me appreciative, and scared. And loved; always loved.
Scott — My true hetero -life mate and second to one soul-mate.
Dave — Welcome back, sir. No flicks without you, ever again. Promise
Jeff — For not only coming back, but for knocking it out of the park and keeping me honest.
Brian — For being the world’s best straight man.
Jay — for cleaning up and being the official “Clerks II” spirit bunny
Rosario — for saying yes and turning in a performance so great, it made me believe that Becky would fuck Dante.
Trevor — For an Elias you could pity and love.
Zack and Joey — For hours of awesome “Train Wreck”.
Ming — For being my Lord of the Web-Rings.
Harvey and Bob — For the cash, the green light and the freedom.
Michael and Marty — For being Lords of the Dance.
Tony — For keeping us on schedule.
Mom and Dad — for years of support and for having sex.
Gail and Byron — For quietly having sex, and for keeping my life running smoothly.
Harley — for being the spring in dad’s step.
Laura — for holding it all together so amazingly.
Ratface — For my favorite set of all time.
Purcell — For his brilliant art.
James — For the perfect location.
Banker — For keeping the axis straight, yet again.
Jason, Ben and Ethan — For making the time.
Wanda and earthquake — For making the jokes.
Razer X — Wait a second… thank ME bitch, for rarely having to move a truck this time.
Whit — For crystal clear dirty dialogue.
Gary, Tom and Erich — for Skywalking said dirty dialogue.
Phil and Sloss — For keeping me in the green.
Angelotti — For the ink.
Carol — For keeping all that green straight.
Janda — For the tech and the fandom.
Jon gordon — For getting the ball rolling before he bolted.
Carla — For taking over for Jon and being easier to look at in the process.
Elliot — for hours of loading.
Darren — For keeping me pic-rich.
Bry — For being the OG Randal.
Walt — For my love of King Diamond.
The Thapars — For letting us back into the Quick Stop one more time.
Chappy — For all that cool-ass merch.
Venable — For all that cool-ass score.
Leslie — For a smooth post.
Gooseberg — For burning down Quick Stop.
The Cast — For elevating, not executing.
The Crew — For being the best bunch of artists I’ve ever worked with.
Maslin — For being as good a friend as she was a critic.
Hawk — for the notes and the history.
Smalls — for taking off the shades once in a while.
Matt — For the truth.
Newsaskew.com — For keeping me abreast of what’s going on in my life.
The Folks Who post at www.viewaskew.com — For being a wonderful, mass sounding board.

“The Snowball Effect” — For reminding me how much “Clerks” meant to me.

And “Jersey Girl” — For taking it so hard in the ass and never complaining.

When in downtown Red Bank, New Jersey,
or in downtown Westwood, Los Angeles,
visit JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SECRET STASH — the two best
comic book stores with that name in the entire known universe.

While at JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SECRET STASH,
drop tons of coin on fine merchandise manufactured by Graphitti Designs
(also grab a “Sin City” figure while you’re at it,
because we over-ordered on them).

Wanna know how Dante and Randal got their job at Mooby’s?
Check out the “Tales from the Clerks” graphic novel,
featuring the “Clerks” and “Clerks II” bridge story, “Where’s the Beef?”

Are you a total shut-in?
You don’t even have to leave your house to buy my shit.
Get out your credit card and visit www.jayandsilentbob.com
for a plethora of autographed “Clerks II” crap.

Watch hours and hours of shorts about the making of
“Clerks II” at www.clerks2.com.

How’s my driving? Let me know at
www.viewaskew.com
www.myspace.com/therealkevinsmith
www.silentbobspeaks.com
www.quickstopentertainment.com

Christ, I spend too much time on the internet…

[Edit out some final credits]

Jay and silent Bob might return one day.
For now, they’re taking it easy.

Goodbye, Horses

Around nine at night, my friend and co-worker Vincent Pereira closed up R.S.T. Video for the evening and joined me at Quick Stop, to stock the milk and mop the floors before heading off. We got to talking about movies, as per usual, and I told him about a review I’d read in the Village Voice for a film called “Slacker” that was playing up at the Angelika Film Center, in New York City. This was a film we’d seen a trailer about a week or so prior, after Vincent and I had read about an Angelika midnight screening of “The Dark Backward” which Judd Nelson and Bill Paxton would be in attendance for and “Pig Newtons” (a prop food item that featured prominently in the flick) would be distributed at. The “Slacker” review talked about a scene in which Madonna’s pap smear was discussed, and that captured both of our imaginations. Since we two Jersey ‘burb boys had successfully gotten into and out of the city for the “Dark Backward” screening with our virtue intact once before, we decided to tempt fate with a second trip into the city that night, to check out this “Slacker” picture. And so, after closing up Quick Stop at 10:30pm, Vincent and I drove from Leonardo, NJ to the Angelika Theater on Houston in New York City to see a little movie from Austin, Texas.

This was the moment that changed my life forever.

Richard Linklater’s “Slacker”, you see, was the film that made me want to be a filmmaker too. As that flick unspooled before the wide eyes of a freshly minted twenty one year old version of me, possibility was first introduced into my sphere of influence. This film was at once remarkable and unremarkable, and I viewed it with a mixture of awe and arrogance.

“Don’t miss Kevin Smith’s Mallrats at midnight on August 4th and 5th. What better place is there to watch a couple of slackers drift through life than the Alamo Drafthouse? Plus, we can all agree that Ben Affleck plays his most believable role in Mallrats as a self involved mean spirited jackass. What more can you ask for? For more information check www.drafthouse.com. See you at the movies.”

“With the release of Clerks 2 and Kevin Smith’s birthday coming up on August 2nd, what better time is there to dust off one of Smith’s classic movies. That’s right, I’m talking about Mallrats.

Brodie Bruce, a Sega and comic book obsessed college student, and his best friend, TS Quint, are both dumped by their girlfriends on the same day, and to deal with their loss, they both go to the local mall. Along the way, they meet up with some friends, including Willam, a guy who stares at Magic Eye pictures, desperately trying to see the hidden image; Gwen, one of TS’s ex-girlfriends; and Jay & Silent Bob, of Clerks fame. Eventually, they decide to try and win back their significant others, and take care of their respective nemesises (TS’s girlfriend’s father, and a store clerk who hates the two for not having any shopping agenda).”

NASCAR.COM: … Umm yeah, moving on. Talladega Nights premiered this weekend. What were your thoughts on seeing your life story on the big screen?

Ricky Bobby: I don’t get out to the movies that much, but Bluntman and Chronic was blunt-tastic.