‘A God Who Cussed’

Director Kevin Smith remembers George Carlin

They say you should never meet your heroes. I’ve found this a good rule to live by, but as with any rule, there’s always an exception.

My first exposure to George Carlin was in 1982, when HBO aired his “Carlin at Carnegie” stand-up special. When I saw the advert—featuring a clip of Carlin talking about the clichéd criminal warning of “Don’t try anything funny,” and then adding, “When they’re not looking, I like to go …,” followed by a brief explosion of goofy expressions and pantomime—I immediately asked my parents if I could tape it on our new BetaMax video recorder.

That was a hilarious bit. But when I finally watched the special, Carlin blew my doors off. Whether he was spinning a yarn about Tippy, his farting dog, or analyzing the contents of his fridge, Carlin expressed himself not only humorously, but amazingly eloquently as well. I was, as they say, in stitches.

And that was before he got to the Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television.

I was 12 years old, watching a man many years my senior curse a blue streak while exposing the hypocrisy of a medium (and a society) that couldn’t deal with the public usage of terms they probably employed regularly in their private lives. And while he seemed to revel in being a rebel, here was a man who also clearly loved the English language, warts and all—even the so-called “bad words” (although, as George would say, there are no such things as “bad words”). I wouldn’t say George Carlin taught me obscenities, but I would definitely say he taught me that the casual use of obscenities wasn’t reserved just for drunken sailors, as the old chestnut goes; even intelligent people were allowed to incorporate them into their everyday conversations (because George was nothing if not intelligent).

From that moment forward, I was an instant Carlin disciple. I bought every album, watched every HBO special, and even sat through “The Prince of Tides” just because he played a small role in the film. I spent years turning friends on to the Cult of Carlin, the World According to George, and even made pilgrimages to see him perform live (the first occasion being a gig at Farleigh Dickinson University in 1988). Carlin influenced my speech and my writing. Carlin replaced Catholicism as my religion.

Sixteen years later, I sat across from the star of “Carlin at Carnegie” in the dining room of the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles. It was a meeting I’d dreamed of and dreaded simultaneously. George Carlin was the type of social observer/critic I most wanted to emulate … but he was a celebrity, too. What if he turned out to be a true prick?

What I quickly discovered was that, in real life, George was, well, George. Far from a self-obsessed jerk, he was mild-mannered enough to be my Dad. He was as interested as he was interesting, well-read and polite to a fault—all while casually dropping F-bombs. But most impressive, he didn’t treat me like an audience member, eschewing actual conversation, electing instead to simply perform the whole meeting, more “on” than real. He talked to me like one of my friends would talk to me: familiar, unguarded, authentic.

I made three films with George over the course of the next six years, starting with “Dogma” and his portrayal of Cardinal Glick, the pontiff-publicist responsible for the Catholic Church’s recall of the standard crucifix in favor of the more congenial, bubbly “Buddy Christ.” A few years later, I wrote him a lead role in “Jersey Girl”—as Bart Trinke (or “Pop”), the father of Ben Affleck’s character. It called for a more dramatic performance than George was used to giving, but the man pulled it off happily and beautifully. (Something most folks probably don’t know about George: He took acting very seriously. The man was almost a Method actor.) Sadly, I consider that “Jersey Girl” part my one failing on George’s behalf, and not for the reasons most would assume (the movie was not reviewed kindly, to say the least). No, I failed because George had asked me to write a different role for him.

In 2001, George did me a solid when he accepted the part of the orally fixated hitchhiker who knew exactly how to get a ride in “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” When he wrapped his scene in that flick, I thanked him for making the time, and he said, “Just do me a favor: Write me my dream role one day.” When I inquired what that’d be, he offered, “I wanna play a priest who strangles children.”


It was a classic Carlin thing to say: a little naughty and a lot honest. I always figured there’d be time to give George what he asked for. Unfortunately, he left too soon.

He was, and will likely remain, the smartest person I’ve ever met. But really, he was much more than just a person. Without a hint of hyperbole, I can say he was a god, a god who cussed.

Some have asked us if Kevin may have had Mr. Carlin in mind for a part in “Red State” given his desire to take evil turns on film. Sure would have been interesting. From two fellow Carlin disciples to Kevin and the rest of his fans, we sure wish we could have seen him back here in the Askewniverse once again.

I just attended Horror Hound Weekend in Pittsburgh last weekend. Jason Mewes and Brian O’ Halloran were in attendance. Two of my buddies and I went Friday evening. Brian was one of the first people we met. He’s just an awesome guy. He’s so laid back and friendly. He even took three pictures with us. One with me and then one with each of my friends. Jason was there but stepped out for a moment. We chatted a bit with Brian and made our way through the convention room.


After meeting several celebrities such as Doug Bradley (Pinhead), and Danielle Harris (Halloween 4, 5, and Rob Zombie’s remake) we headed back to Brian and Jason’s table. We knew Jason was back because of the huge crowd gathered around the table. When we finally met him, he was just as nice and cool as Brian. We talked about the Zack and Miri wrap-up party I attended at the Pittsburgh Improv a couple of months ago. I didn’t get to meet him then because he had to leave early. I’m just glad I got a second chance to meet him.


The general consensus from everyone that attended is that Brian and Jason were a great addition to the con. Apparently, one attendee brought the DVD covers of every movie Jason has done.


And apparently Brian did some mad karaoke at the hotel during the weekend.

Like we always say, when you have a chance to meet these guys, take it — They’re great with the fans, always. Thanks to our scooper for filling us in on his time in western PA, home of “Dogma” and “Zack & Miri Make a Porno”.

The good news – they launched their first full episode a few months ago. It was profiled in ‘Viral on Veoh,’ and the show got one million hits. YouTube chose it as a ‘Featured Video’ and it became the #1 YouTube video in 19 countries, including the US. Congrats, guys. The second full episode premieres this Monday, 6/30 @ 9 pm EST at www.oceans711.com.