God — He who keeps my heart beating, and keeps me appreciative, and scared.
Jenny — She who keeps my heart beating, and keeps me appreciative, and scared. And loved; always loved.
Scott — My true hetero -life mate and second to one soul-mate.
Dave — Welcome back, sir. No flicks without you, ever again. Promise
Jeff — For not only coming back, but for knocking it out of the park and keeping me honest.
Brian — For being the world’s best straight man.
Jay — for cleaning up and being the official “Clerks II” spirit bunny
Rosario — for saying yes and turning in a performance so great, it made me believe that Becky would fuck Dante.
Trevor — For an Elias you could pity and love.
Zack and Joey — For hours of awesome “Train Wreck”.
Ming — For being my Lord of the Web-Rings.
Harvey and Bob — For the cash, the green light and the freedom.
Michael and Marty — For being Lords of the Dance.
Tony — For keeping us on schedule.
Mom and Dad — for years of support and for having sex.
Gail and Byron — For quietly having sex, and for keeping my life running smoothly.
Harley — for being the spring in dad’s step.
Laura — for holding it all together so amazingly.
Ratface — For my favorite set of all time.
Purcell — For his brilliant art.
James — For the perfect location.
Banker — For keeping the axis straight, yet again.
Jason, Ben and Ethan — For making the time.
Wanda and earthquake — For making the jokes.
Razer X — Wait a second… thank ME bitch, for rarely having to move a truck this time.
Whit — For crystal clear dirty dialogue.
Gary, Tom and Erich — for Skywalking said dirty dialogue.
Phil and Sloss — For keeping me in the green.
Angelotti — For the ink.
Carol — For keeping all that green straight.
Janda — For the tech and the fandom.
Jon gordon — For getting the ball rolling before he bolted.
Carla — For taking over for Jon and being easier to look at in the process.
Elliot — for hours of loading.
Darren — For keeping me pic-rich.
Bry — For being the OG Randal.
Walt — For my love of King Diamond.
The Thapars — For letting us back into the Quick Stop one more time.
Chappy — For all that cool-ass merch.
Venable — For all that cool-ass score.
Leslie — For a smooth post.
Gooseberg — For burning down Quick Stop.
The Cast — For elevating, not executing.
The Crew — For being the best bunch of artists I’ve ever worked with.
Maslin — For being as good a friend as she was a critic.
Hawk — for the notes and the history.
Smalls — for taking off the shades once in a while.
Matt — For the truth.
Newsaskew.com — For keeping me abreast of what’s going on in my life.
The Folks Who post at www.viewaskew.com — For being a wonderful, mass sounding board.

“The Snowball Effect” — For reminding me how much “Clerks” meant to me.

And “Jersey Girl” — For taking it so hard in the ass and never complaining.

When in downtown Red Bank, New Jersey,
or in downtown Westwood, Los Angeles,
visit JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SECRET STASH — the two best
comic book stores with that name in the entire known universe.

While at JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SECRET STASH,
drop tons of coin on fine merchandise manufactured by Graphitti Designs
(also grab a “Sin City” figure while you’re at it,
because we over-ordered on them).

Wanna know how Dante and Randal got their job at Mooby’s?
Check out the “Tales from the Clerks” graphic novel,
featuring the “Clerks” and “Clerks II” bridge story, “Where’s the Beef?”

Are you a total shut-in?
You don’t even have to leave your house to buy my shit.
Get out your credit card and visit www.jayandsilentbob.com
for a plethora of autographed “Clerks II” crap.

Watch hours and hours of shorts about the making of
“Clerks II” at www.clerks2.com.

How’s my driving? Let me know at
www.viewaskew.com
www.myspace.com/therealkevinsmith
www.silentbobspeaks.com
www.quickstopentertainment.com

Christ, I spend too much time on the internet…

[Edit out some final credits]

Jay and silent Bob might return one day.
For now, they’re taking it easy.

Goodbye, Horses