Filmmaker’s homecoming stretches into wee hours

By MARK VOGER – STAFF WRITER

So you’re impressed by Bruce Springsteen’s three-hour-plus shows? Another Shore native has “the Boss” beat by double, and then some.

Kevin Smith — the writer/director behind “Clerks,” “Chasing Amy” and “Jersey Girl” — turned his Red Bank homecoming into a seven-hour marathon.

Smith brought his Q&A-format program “An Evening With Kevin Smith” to the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank on Saturday. Smith promised patrons would see “two hours of a fat guy sweating.” He surprised himself when the session lasted until 3 a.m., calling this his longest Q&A ever.

Timely reference

Many wondered if Smith — a Catholic whose religion-themed comedy “Dogma” drew controversy — would allude to the death of Pope John Paul II hours earlier. Indeed, the filmmaker opened by addressing the passing of a “man of peace,” a “little bald man” who “fed the hungry.”

“Tonight,” Smith said solemnly, “I dedicate my show to Frank Perdue.” He soon added: “And the pope died.”

As you can guess, the easily offended had no place at this show. No discussion of bodily functions, sexual peccadilloes, ex-girlfriends or bizarre “what if” scenarios was off limits.

Smith warned the first questioner that he was setting the tone for the entire evening, “so don’t be askin’ me any J.Lo questions.”

Smith cracked up when one fan began his question: “Like your friend (Ben) Affleck, I, too, am a struggling actor.”

“I am totally stealing that joke,” Smith said.

Many of the evening’s funniest moments came when Smith toyed with audience members.

When a man whose hair was dyed blue approached a microphone, Smith said, “Sir! Look at you with the blue hair, expressing your individuality.”

The man shot back: “I see you’re sporting a mullet (hairstyle).”

Smith explained he is growing his hair for an upcoming role. “I’m doing it for financial reasons,” he said. “What’s your (expletive) excuse?”

Smith said Wednesday will mark two years of sobriety for Jason Mewes, his longtime friend and co-star in “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” Now that Mewes is sober, is he boring? “Oh, God, no. He was boring when he was stoned.”

Marathon session

This reviewer left the venue at 1:45 a.m., but my brother, niece and nephew saw the marathon through. “At one point, Kevin laid down on the stage and kept talking,” said my brother Brian, who added that the remaining audience members counted down to 3 a.m. in unison.

Reached on Monday, a Count Basie Theatre spokeswoman said: “There’s no ordinance that says we have to end the show at a certain time.”

But Smith still wasn’t finished by 3 a.m.

An employee of Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, Smith’s comic book store on Broad Street, said that following the show, Smith autographed items at the store until 7 a.m.