SModcast 50: Gnome Alone –

In which our heroes relate ribald tales of corporate piracy, draw upon the scat games of the short and fantastical, discuss the first generation of hand-held games, and reminisce about the imaginary lengths a boy will go to in an effort to secure some free comic books.

As always, SModcast appears exclusively at our beloved Quick Stop Entertainment, and is just a free MP3 download away. Don’t miss it. Here’s to 50 more and then some, guys.

“If you’re running around on the roof of the Quick Stop with Randal and Dante, it’s deck hockey or street hockey. So can it still be ice hockey if you’re wearing ice skates but there’s no, you know, ice?”

In support of his new film “Brutal Massacre”, Brian will be appearing live in Ft. Lauderdale and Pittsburgh, meeting and greeting fans, signing autographs, and the like. First up, Brian has JUST been added to the list of guests to appear at the Florida SuperCon in Weston Fla., just outside of Ft. Lauderdale, this weekend May 23rd – 25th. This is Brian’s FIRST EVER appearance in the state of Florida.

To promote the show, Brian will be on the air on 93 ROCK FM in the Ft. Lauderdale area, sometime between 9 and 10 AM this Friday.

Finally, don’t miss Brian, who will be appearing with Jay Mewes at the massive Pittsburgh Horrorhound in June from the 20th – 22nd. Watch News Askew for the latest appearances as Brian continues his tour to support the flick. We’ll have the latest news and dates right here, as well as in our events rundown on the right.

In support of his new film “Brutal Massacre”, Brian will be appearing live in Ft. Lauderdale and Pittsburgh, meeting and greeting fans, signing autographs, and the like. First up, Brian has JUST been added to the list of guests to appear at the Florida SuperCon in Weston Fla., just outside of Ft. Lauderdale, this weekend May 23rd – 25th. This is Brian’s FIRST EVER appearance in the state of Florida.

To promote the show, Brian will be on the air on 93 ROCK FM in the Ft. Lauderdale area, sometime between 9 and 10 AM this Friday.

Finally, don’t miss Brian, who will be appearing with Jay Mewes at the massive Pittsburgh Horrorhound in June from the 20th – 22nd. Watch News Askew for the latest appearances as Brian continues his tour to support the flick. We’ll have the latest news and dates right here, as well as in our events rundown on the right.

It’s a pretty good review [referring to the AICN review posted last week] (with the exception of a seemingly inexperienced view of women/relationships), but it’s very spoiler-laden. If you wanna be surprised avoid temptation.

I was in the editing room from 2pm yesterday ’til 5am this morning, during which time I cut like a surgeon and excised nine more minutes from “Zack and Miri.” If you’ve seen the flick, rest assured: they’re invisible cuts. Nothing was removed wholesale.

Our second test is late next month.

Hey, bring that screening to the east coast!

Once again, we recommend you don’t read the review – We’ve both resisted. Kevin’s flicks are always best enjoyed as an experience first time, not knowing plot points or dialogue before you walk into the theater. With the more subtle press approach this time around, it should be a lot easier to stay pure, even as a regular reader of News Askew and the View Askew site.

In support of his new film “Brutal Massacre”, Brian will be appearing live in Ft. Lauderdale and Pittsburgh, meeting and greeting fans, signing autographs, and the like. First up, Brian has JUST been added to the list of guests to appear at the Florida SuperCon in Weston Fla., just outside of Ft. Lauderdale, this weekend May 23rd – 25th. This is Brian’s FIRST EVER appearance in the state of Florida.

To promote the show, Brian will be on the air on 93 ROCK FM in the Ft. Lauderdale area, sometime between 9 and 10 AM this Friday.

Finally, don’t miss Brian, who will be appearing with Jay Mewes at the massive Pittsburgh Horrorhound in June from the 20th – 22nd. Watch News Askew for the latest appearances as Brian continues his tour to support the flick. We’ll have the latest news and dates right here, as well as in our events rundown on the right.

Several reasons the photo above from Kevin Smith’s upcoming “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” inspires both comedic confidence and puckhead/fanboy glee:

• Kevin Smith continues to establish his cred as Hollywood’s most adamant and humorous hockey fan. Not only does he continue to pump the puck into his films, but we’re still in awe of his brilliant-but-short-lived NHL.com hockey blog; the one on which he suggested women withhold sex from New York Rangers fans who partake in “rampant hate-speech.”

• Seth Rogen, who stars in “Zack and Miri” with Elizabeth Banks, is sharing the box with none other than Jeff Anderson, a.k.a. Randal from “Clerks.” For a brief moment, we consider the incredible game of “You know how I know you’re gay?” that could take place between the star of “Knocked Up” and the man who spread the joys of Hermaphroditic porn and the “salsa shark” in Silent Bob’s 1994 classic.

• You’ll notice the name of the team is the “Monroeville Zombies,” which is a rather fabulous George Romero reference: “Dawn of the Dead” was filmed inside the Monroeville Mall, and it’s still the site of the occasional “Zombie Fest,” which features a zombie walk, zombie dances and some enlightening zombie book discussions.

• The team’s logo appears to be a shout-out to “Shaun of the Dead,” as Smith’s an unabashed fan of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg.

• Finally, let’s celebrate the fact that even though hockey may not play a central role in the film’s plot, Kevin Smith isn’t running away from our beloved sport like some other filmmakers appear to be with their upcoming summer comedies.

This is, quite possibly, one of our favorite all-time pre-release stills from a View Askew flick. Just great. Oh, and we hear on pretty good authority that, very soon, Seth and Jeff might not be the only guys who can own a hockey jersey like that…YEAH! Stay tuned.

Best Night Ever.

As you may have assumed by the title (and the bulletin) I had the best night ever tonight. As you probably know, I am a huge Kevin Smith fan. Those of you who share my affinity, probably know about his new movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno (opening October 31st). And if you keep up on any news from the Smith camp, you know that Kevin was planning to do the very first test screening “somewhere in the midwest” this week. On Tuesday to be exact. Well, a few days ago the wonderful and beautiful Destiny emailed me, and said “I’ve got tickets to a screening of [you guessed it] Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and if you can make it up you’re welcome to come along.” As you might have guessed, I was fucking stoked. I emailed back immediately and told her yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I will be there.

So, that’s part one. I got to see Z&MMaP a full 5 and a half months before it comes out. Not only that, but this is the very first time an audience will see the movie. On to part two.

So, as we are sitting in the theater, waiting for the movie to start, I see Zak Knutson. The Donkey Fucker from Clerks II. So we talked about how cool that was. And then, a few moments later Harvey Fucking Weinstein, formerly of Miramax, currently with The Weinstein Company. The production house responsible for almost every Kevin Smith movie. Not to mention he is one of THE most important people in indy movies. So that was really fucking cool.

Now, an aside. When I heard about this test screening, I remembered hearing about the Test Screening process. Everyone watches the movie (with some minor differences than the final cut, mostly small edits and possible different soundtrack choices) and then afterwards everyone fills out what is basically a comment card. Asking what you thought of many different aspects of the movie. And after everyone has filled out their card, there are a few people who get chosen for a Focus Group, and the focus group goes and talks more directly about what they liked and didn’t like. And often times, this may include the director. On with the story.

So as we’re waiting, after we’ve seen Zak and Harvey, the guy next to us tells us that he saw Kevin in the back parking lot earlier. So now we’re super excited. Kevin is in the house. So we all want to get picked for the Focus Group. But alas, none of us do. So we leave. Or do we…

(A one paragraph cliffhanger? Who is this asshole?)

We go out to the hallway, and we kind of loiter, just to see who might come out. I was really hoping for a picture with Harvey. And as we’re waiting, we see first Uber Producer Scott Mosier, and just a few steps behind The Man himself, Kevin Smith. So we get even more excited. We decide we’re not leaving without saying hi.

So we decide that since he came in the backdoor, he’ll probably go out the same door. So we get in the van, and drive around the back of the theater. After we wait about 15-20 minutes, out they come. Kevin first. So we calmly walk over, and say hi. And after asking for an autograph, and a few pictures, we got to talk with him. He asked us what we thought of the flick, and we all dug it, so we told him so. We talked about how far we drove just to see the show. Discussed how good Seth Rogen was, and how good the cast was, and Mewes. Btw, when you see the movie, those are all his real tattoos. Who knew? And I pointed out that I noticed a funny little sign, and he laughed because he didn’t think anyone noticed. And we end up talking to him for like 15 minutes. And then I went over and asked Scott for an autograph and a picture, and he asked what I thought of the movie, and I told him I loved it. And we talked about how great all the new faces fit into the View Askew family. And after a picture, I went back over to find Jeremy (My younger brother) telling Kevin about how he peed behind the bush. I leave that kid alone for 5 minutes…I swear to god. So we talk for a few more minutes with Kevin, and then Zak came over. And we talked to Zak for about 10 minutes and found out that they are doing another feature length Documentary on the making of Z&M so thats awesome. And after a picture with Zak, and yet another autograph, we left. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I haven’t been happier in a very long time.

SPOILER-LADEN REVIEW REMOVED FOR YOUR PROTECTION!

Whew. that took a long time to type. Sorry its so long, but I loved it so much, I wanted to share. I left out a lot of great jokes, and minor story points. (I didn’t want to ruin the whole thing for you) If you want, you can run anything from the first part, the personal account, on the site if you want. and I took some pictures and stuff if you want them, or they’re up on my myspace (www.myspace.com/chuckie2d0pe)

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I think the test-screening process went very very well. The audience laughed and laughed through the whole thing. and when we spoke to kev, it sounded like the focus group stuff went well, other than the fact that he hates when they say “What didn’t you like about the movie” and people HAVE to come up with an answer. He felt like they were leading people into pointing out stuff that they really didn’t not like, but they felt like they had to say something. Anyway, he said “God willing, this will be the first and last test screening” Since according to zak, they did 11 for jersey girl.

Anyway, that’s the greatest night i’ve had in a very long time. I hope if you made it this far, you at least enjoyed reading. Keep up the good work fellas.

Thanks for sending this in, sir — We’re sure we speak for many other fans when we say we’re insanely jealous, and hope you did Kevin proud on the comment cards. Hurry up, October!!!

We’re going to guess this will not only be a fun way to spend a night out and benefit charity (and possibly call BINGO!), but that Kevin will lend a lot of his own brand of entertainment to the evening. More information can be had at the Legendary Bingo site. We suggest booking right away, as once word is out of Kevin’s involvement, we’re betting fans will fill up the sports pretty quickly (so go and find yourself 9 friends!).