The buzz around Kevin Smith’s “Dogma” (DOGMA) is growing to epic proportions! Stories continue to move through Hollywood about Harvey Weinstein’s decision to buy back the rights to the religious comedy from Miramax’s parent company, Disney. By doing so, Weinstein can now shop the picture around to other distributors and protect Disney from what would have been almost certain controversy. It remains to be seen if “Dogma” can find a place in the upcoming Cannes Film Festival, much less a domestic distributor. Stay tuned!

You can learn more about what’s up with the virtual Dogma stock by clicking HERE.

Oh God – Is that Alanis Morissette?

I’m a little confused about the uproar over Alanis Morissette’s role as God in the film Dogma. It’s hard to imagine what the singer could do to discredit the Supreme Being that hasn’t already been done by George Burns.

After all, Burns may have had the wizened, cute curmudgeon thing working for him, but, ultimately, he was a lecherous, one-note comic. Morisette, on the other hand, has the Raphaelite hair and the inward, painfully self-reflective personality of a true deity. And if it’s true that God is in all things and in all places at all times, why couldn’t she be a former bubble-gum pop singer turned international angsty-girl, award-winning rock star? Talk about a resurrection.

Still, if the stories about Kevin Smith’s latest, yet to be released film are true, then the protests come as no surprise. Look what happened when it was suggested in a dream sequence of 1988’s Last Temptation of Christ that Jesus’ alternate destiny might have been marrying Mary Magdalene. How crazy was that? Everyone knows that Mary Magdalene is the kind of girl you sleep with, not marry.

According to playwright Terrance McNally, the son of God wasn’t even the marrying kind. In his 1998 off-Broadway play, Corpus Christi, Jesus is a gay activist who begins an affair with Judas on senior prom night at Pontius Pilate Senior High School and later performs a same-sex wedding under a chuppah for chino-sporting apostles James and Bartholomew. Rumour has it that Gap tried desperately for a tie-in advertising campaign (Khakis swing. Khaki country. Khakis dance the hora), but to no avail. Even heretics have their limits.

In Dogma, Smith has two angels, played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, trying to find their way back to Heaven, while Chris Rock portrays a vulgar 13th disciple. And adding another gajillion Hail Marys to his penance, Smith also has a recovering Catholic descendant of Joseph and Mary working at an abortion clinic.

Compared to that, a nice Catholic girl like Morissette playing the Creator seems awfully tame. But what’s gotten the U.S.-based Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights outraged is that Morissette sings about oral sex in the song “You Oughta Know” (sure, it’s no Ave Maria, but what do you call the biblical tale of Lot having sex with his two daughters? Wholesome?) and that she appears nude in the video Thank-you. (Though created in His/Her image, God apparently is grossed out by the human body, particularly the freaky, PG-rated pixilation of Morissettes’ pubic hair.

Smith, director of indie hits Clerks and Chasing Amy is, apparently, a practising Catholic and said that Dogma is “from first to last always intended as a love letter to both faith and God almighty… Dogma is in no way blasphemous or worthy of the mild controversy that seems to be brewing around it.”

That wasn’t enough to stop the Walt Disney Co. from labelling the film “inappropriate.” Under pressure from the Catholic League, Miramax, which is owned by Disney, decided not to release the film. Instead, Miramax co-chairmen, Bob and Harvey Weinstein, will acquire all the rights and sell it to another distributor.

A piece of advice for the Catholic League: As far as blasphemy goes, there are far better targets, like the creepy and insincere piety that’s suddenly in vogue – Roseanne telling Larry King, who was on her show shilling his book about the prayer habits of the rich and famous, that she prays every day; an audience full of avaricious record execs at the Grammys applauding and whup-whupping Lauryn Hill’s reading from the Psalms when she accepted an award; anyone, ever, asking the question, What would Jesus do?

And at the risk of sounding holier than thou, I imagine that the Almighty has bigger sinners to punish – like, maybe, war criminals, child molesters, or CEOs of companies using sweatshop labour – than a filmmaker and a few entertainers.

Who knows? The Lord might even like the star turn. Any Creator who makes it flood for 40 days, drops manna from Heaven, and helps their son turn water into wine, has got to be a drama queen.

-Rachel Giese

Earlier this week, we were contacted by Jessica and chatted on the phone a while about the goings-on with Dogma and basically took the time to answer some questions regarding what we knew about the sale and the film as a whole. The quote comes as a result of a dialogue that that she and I got into about what Kevin had said regarding the MoobyBoardroom scene at his Rider Appearance, though I thought it was a bit strange how I was quoted by paraphrasing something that Kevin actually said (without recalling his exact words, of course), and that it could be easily takenout of context. Oh well. The story itself summarizes everything you’ve read about here over the past week or so, andreads:

A Hollywood Dogfight (News + Notes Sidebar)

It’s tempting to say Disney was being dogmatic about the situation. Butyou decide: On April 7, Miramax cochairmen Harvey and Bob Weinstein putup $12 million of their own money to buy all the rights to Kevin Smith’supcoming religious comedy, Dogma. The unusual move was made becauseDisney, Miramax’s parent company, is uncomfortable with the film’scontroversial content, which includes a descendant of Jesus working atan abortion clinic and a discussion of Joseph and Mary’s sex life. TheWeinsteins will now look to sell the film to another distributor.”Disney is an easy target for this kind of protest,” says Harvey. “It’stheir Achilles’ heel.”

This isn’t the first time the odd-fitting Disney-Miramax tandem has hadproblems. In 1995, the companies were blasted by Catholic groups overMiramax’s Priest, about a gay Catholic clergyman. The following year,the Weinsteins were forced to set up an ad hoc company, ShiningExcalibur, to release the NC-17-rated Kids (Disney rules prohibit any ofits divisions from releasing NC-17 films). However, Dogma seemsdifferent. Not only will the film not have a ratings problem, it’s ahighly marketable comedy from a respected indie director (Smith made1997’s hit Chasing Amy for Miramax). And it boasts a boatful of hotyoung stars, including Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alanis Morissette, LindaFiorentino, and Chris Rock. And as Weinstein points out: “This is notPriest. This is a laugh-out-loud satire. Look at There’s Something AboutMary. Was the hair-gel scene funny or offensive?”

So what’s the problem? Although Smith was unavailable for comment,people close to him say he attributes at least part of Disney’sskittishness to a scene in which Damon and Affleck, playing angels, walkinto the board meeting of a Disney-like firm and rattle off lewdpersonal histories of the execs as cartoon music plays in thebackground. Says Brad Plevyak, who coruns a Dogma website and has awalk-on part in the film: “Kevin said ‘I could see why Disney would havehad a hard time with that.'” (Disney has no comment.)

For his part, Harvey Weinstein denies the scene is an attack on Disneyand says he is excited to be shopping Dogma around. “After 20 years, I’mback to being an independent producer again with all my competitors onthe phone promising me the world,” says Weinstein, who says there’salready been heavy interest in Dogma. “I’m going to have breakfast atWarners and dinner at New Line. And I’m going to find out who has thebest commissary and the best fringe benefits.”

–Jessica Shaw

All things considered, it’s nice to see your name in print, but we’d have taken a mention of either of the websites with a URL over that any day. Oh well. Maybe next time. Until then, it’s back to the shadows for us…

Jimmy, Kevin, & Joe Sign Away	Jimmy Asks Kev, “What’s Up With That Hair?”	Jimmy Palmiotti	Joey Da Q!
Kevin Smith	Kev Signs…	Jimmy & Kev	Kev Gives Us A Wave (And Jimmy Takes Advantage…)
The Line Inside…	The Line Outside…	Golden Apple Comics