Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith (aka Jay and Silent Bob) : Could they soon be chasing… Tony?

To The Theatre, Cocksmokers!

What’s that? You’re an indie film fanatic and you can’t wait for Dogma, Kevin Smith’s next movie to be released?

Just wait — Jay and Silent Bob may be coming to your town, live on stage! Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith (aka Jay and Silent Bob): Could they soon be chasing… Tony? Filmmaker Smith brought the popular dope-dealing characters to life in his first three films, Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy.

Now Smith (who plays Silent Bob) and longtime buddy/costar Jason Mewes (Jay) have announced that they will take the lead roles this summer in a national touring production of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple.

It’s a casting coup made in heaven, as Smith takes the role of sloppy Oscar Madison and Mewes plays finicky Felix Unger.

“We’ve been taking a lot of heat over Dogma,” Smith said, referring to his upcoming religious satire that has already been stirring up controversy months before its release. “Frankly, we needed a break. We wanted to work on something nice for a change.”

The blockbuster cast will also include Tom Bosley as Murray, Tim Conway as Roy, Tom Poston as Vinnie and Jim J. Bullock as Speed.

Although Neil Simon may seem a little tame for Jay and Silent Bob’s cult following, Mewes insists that this is where their true comedy roots lie. “You ever read Neil Simon, man?” said Mewes as he rolled a fatty blunt. “Plaza Suite? Barefoot in the Park? Man, tha’s some funny fuckin’ shit.”

Agreed, Jay — though we at the FB! believe his Brighton Beach trilogy is also the fucking bomb.

The “Star Wars” movies taught me the importance of creating one’s own universe or mythology. The big influence [of “Star Wars”] on the films I’ve done is how closely related the characters I’ve written are to the characters from my other films. Just like in the “Star Wars” movies, everyone in our flicks knows each other. And with our latest film, “Dogma,” the Lucas influence is probably the most noticeable in the complete fantasy world we created, which is inhabited by angels and demons rather than Jedi knights and Death Stars. And putting aside professional influence, I got married at Skywalker Ranch, for cryin’ out loud. Talk about the Force.