BOBBLE BOBBLE – JAY & SILENT BOBBLES NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER

They’re always there to give you your daily affirmation and they’ll always acknowledge you with a vigorous nod. Introducing for the first time the Jay, silent Bob and Buddy Christ Bobbleheads! These Jay & Silent Bobbles feature the famliar bobbling head along with a fully painted and sculpted body on a black base which also features the figure’s name. Measures over 7” inches tall!

$12.95 each or $35 for all 3

Kevin Smith tackles this theme more openly than other artists. The Red Bank, N.J. resident has made five “New Jersey movies,” excluding his pre-Clerks work and Jersey Girl (because their narratives are not locale-dependent.)

The first three movies, Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy, are not a continuing narrative so much as distinct portrayals of suburban ennui. Characters are quirky and intriguing, but real enough to ground the movies: convenience store clerks, comic book artists, lesbian comic book artists, stoners and mallrats form a familiar cast. All of them are bored so they antagonize “the man.” The end product is characters who gloriously wallow in their Jersey-ite tedium.

As Mallrats’ tagline asserts, “They’re not there to shop, they’re not there to work, they’re just there.” The characters in Mallrats are reminiscent of harmless Romero tropes in Dawn of the Dead, but unlike Romero’s vision, trouble does not come to find you — Smith’s characters create it for themselves. Sure, the mall authorities provoke them a little, but they push back just as hard. Mallrats is a model for the Garden State: it may not be paradise, but we like it, so don’t bother us.

But what about New Jersey-ites who do leave? What about those souls who try to find peace elsewhere? Smith deals with this question in Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Dogma is a religious odyssey about sundry pilgrims returning to Red Bank, Smith’s center of the universe. God’s Jersey-ites are scattered in this film, but all find their peace one way or another on the Jersey Shore. It is enough to make a local teary.

Jay and Silent Bob, however, depicts a road trip in the opposite direction. Go West, young stoner! But forced out of the comfort of the convenience store, Jay and Silent Bob find nothing but emptiness and lies. (”I hate how fake Hollywood is.”) Only upon their return — along with a new lover, a chimp, and Morris Day and the Time of “Jungle Love” fame — does the dynamic duo quell the turmoil in their hearts. It is apropos that the movie ends someplace “real,” someplace with substance: the Jerz.

Here’s the passage that, obviously, bugged the shit out of me…

Director Kevin Smith is also a regular, but tends to head for the Genius Bar because his wife’s PowerBook is on the blink. “He rarely has anything to say, but always looks pissed off when he is forced to wait at the bar just like everyone else,” said the associate.

a) I don’t tend to head to the Genius Bar. I’ve been to the Genius Bar exactly once, for – yes – Jen’s PowerBook. Generally, I head straight to the item I’m looking for, pay, and leave (the one time I was at the Genius Bar, though, the guy who helped me out was great).

b) I rarely have anything to say… unless I’m spoken to. I mean, isn’t that the way of the world? And whenever an associate has said something to me in that store, I’ve always then chatted them up. There was a sales associate there who I was always really chatty with, until she left. Even on that day – when I was waiting for some help with Jen’s PowerBook – I chatted with two associates who stopped to talk to me. Both times, they ended the convo. The way I was raised, I’m a pretty polite motherfucker – which is why this shit bugs me so much. I mean, if you’re not a fan of my flicks, just say it; don’t make up lies about me, and paint a portrait of some curmudgeon.

c) If I looked pissed, it’s only because I don’t burst into a room, a’la Robin fucking Williams, trying to make everybody laugh. What the fuck is this shit? Now, if you’re not wearing a grin all the time, you’re pissed?

d) As for waiting in line like everyone else, I didn’t care. In fact, it afforded me the opportunity to sit in on a Mac Tutorial in their theater, where I learned how to navigate iDVD in the process. I was fine to wait, as I was chilling with my Miramax boy, Jon Gordon, and Jen was out in the Grove shopping. I’m not Affleck; I’m used to waiting in lines. Like I don’t go to the grocery store or something? If I were the kinda guy to be pissed about waiting in lines, I’d never take the kid to Disneyland.

People can rank on the flicks I’ve made and whatnot all they want, but when someone misrepresents you and maligns your character, it just burns your ass, y’know? I’m always really courteous and polite to anyone in the work force, because I remember what it was like to make a per-hour wage and deal with the public. Christ, I’m a fifty percent tipper – even when the service sucks.

Apparently, someone on staff there feels I’m not a sunny enough personality to shop in the Grove Apple Store. So I guess I’ll be taking all my Apple-oriented business down to the Santa Monica Apple Store instead. I’m just glad I read this today, as I’m picking up a new G4 Powerbook this week, and I’d rather give a store that hasn’t attacked my character my dough.

– Right now, we’re scheduled to start shooting April 18th (though that date will probably move by a week or so).

– This week, we’re having a reading of the script, with Brian, Jeff, Mewes and others. I’ll let you know how it sounds.

– This isn’t gonna be a cameo-heavy affair, a’la “Strike Back.” The only returning characters are Dante and Randal, and Jay and Silent Bob.

– This isn’t gonna be a star-studded affair. The biggest names in the cast are gonna be Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, and Jason Mewes.

– This isn’t an “I’m not even supposed to be here today… AGAIN!”-heavy, wink-wink affair. We barely refer to the first flick (though I do love Lynch’s proposed tagline of “They Still Don’t Like You”; considering the tone of the script, an even more appropriate tagline would be “They Like You Even Less”).

– Jay and Silent Bob have about as much screen time as they had in “Clerks.” This is Dante and Randal’s flick all the way.

– The title makes sense. Sure, there’s a bit of cheekiness in there, but it’s pretty appropriate, based on the material.

– This is the funniest thing I’ve ever written. It’s also really poignant.

– We’ll still be making a “Clerks” cartoon movie, separate of this.

– This is not a grab at the green. Saying so is kinda laughable, if you’re privy to what I make per film now, vs. what I’ll make for this film. Part of the idea about doing “Passion” is to strip away the trappings of success we’ve been enjoying for the last few years, in an effort to get to the raw and pure. None of us are making our usual salaries on this flick; we’re all doing it favored-nations style, with deferments. If the flick does well, we’ll get paid our full-freight on the back-end. If not, we did it for the love. But if I was “all about the green”, I’d be gearing up for “Hornet” or “Fletch” instead. This one’s about the passion; the passion of the “Clerks.”

– Some of the key players from the “Clerks” saga who’ve already read the 143 page first draft: Mos, Jeff, Brian, John Pierson, Bob Hawk. Jay’s reading the new, refined 119 page second draft this week. Once they were all on board, any doubt or hesitation I might’ve felt about monkeying with the original’s legacy disappeared completely.

– This isn’t about “Jersey Girl.” While disappointed that we didn’t do double the theatrical business we crawled to, I understand why what happened to that flick happened (considering how poorly “Gigli” did, I consider us kinda lucky that we got to 25m). If this is a reaction to anything, it’s more of a reaction to “Green Hornet”, and the trajectory my budgets have been taking lately. Before (and if) I direct “Hornet”, I wanted to do something small and more me-like. While working on the “Clerks X” dvd, it became clear to me that “Passion” was the way to go.

– We almost did this flick three years ago, instead of “Strike Back.” I’m glad we didn’t, because I was able to say much more now than I would’ve then.

– There are gonna be lots of folks expressing disappointment or downright hostility with the idea of this movie. Let ‘em vent. If it’s all that bad, Xtian will just sweep it off the board. But the last thing I’m interested in is opinions on what I’m doing this early in the process, if at all. The beauty of making that first flick was being able to do it in a vacuum. Granted, I could’ve kept my mouth shut about it ’til we were done shooting; but with “Clerks X” coming out, it just felt right to share. Regardless – I don’t want folks running here with reports of what’s being said about the idea of this film at other boards. Don’t waste your/my time with the braying of the jackasses. There’s not even a movie to bray about yet. Once there is, if you still still feel the need to tell me what some random, knuckle-headed Talk Backer has to say about the finished product, then God bless. But until then, leave it in the locker room.

– Oh, who am I kidding? This flick makes me so happy, I’m not even bothered by the bitching (could still be even happier without it, though). I’m in love with this flick. If other folks aren’t, I can’t really say I’m concerned. I’ve read the script; they haven’t. I have the benefit of insight into the flick beyond the title and the notion of it; they don’t. The reaction is pretty much what I thought it’d be: a ton of positive, and minimal amount of bitching. Even if the equation was reversed, I’d still feel as good as I do now.

– At this point in my life, this flick makes absolute fucking sense.

– I can’t wait to shoot it, and I can’t wait ’til you all see it.

– That storyline about Dante and Randal shooting a movie about working at the Quick Stop is the plot of the “Clerks” CARTOON movie. It’s secure. The plot of “PotC” is something completely different.

– The flick does NOT employ the tone of the “Clerks” cartoon. It’s OG “Clerks” all the way.

– The flick’s in both black & white and color.

– Having not seen “South Park” since season two (unless you count the movie), I was unaware they did an episode called “The Passion of the Jew.” I don’t know how (or if) this info will affect our title.

– There will be no “reunions” or “crossovers” in the flick. Again – the only characters returning are Dante, Randal, Jay, and Bob.

“The show, hot on the heels of courting Buffy fans by casting a member of the Whedon stable – may now be courting the fans of Kevin Smith as Joey Lauren Adams, best known as Alyssa in Smith’s film “Chasing Amy,” is said to be appearing in the episode “Neptune Undercover”.

“Joey is said to be playing a journalism teacher who gets fired because of an article that is published in the school newspaper.”

We’ve heard good things about the show, though sadly it’s not one either of us regularly check out.

The Freedom Film Society presents: The Fifth Annual Red Bank International Film Festival
Red Bank, New Jerseym, October 14-16, 2005

CALL FOR ENTRIES: FILM/ VIDEO/ DIGITAL

$25 Shorts / $45 Features

Go to http://www.rbiff.org/Submit.html for submission form and guidelines

early deadline May 15, late deadline June 1

On Clerks 2: “It’s probably safer to assume that start date might move by a week. Maybe two [from the original April 18th planned start date]. Looking like a four week shoot.”

On Fletch Won: “[October is] the plan. It’s just getting Miramax (or whatever Harvey & Bob’s new company is gonna be called) to go along with that plan. I mean, two movies in one year for less than twenty million? That’s a bargain and a half – particularly when both have built-in audiences. Both flicks will easily recoup, if not turn a nice theatrical profit (with video being free money).

As you might imagine, it’s a little frustrating with the Disney/Miramax situation, as the wait for our cash-flow has extended far longer than it really should, considering the budget. Hopefully, we’ll get our cash this week.”

And what’s next: “‘Ranger Danger’ will be in ‘06. It’ll be the next flick we do after “Fletch Won.”