Richard Kelly, writer and director of the upcoming film Southland Tales, told SCI FI Wire that his difficulty in explaining the plot of the film has led to erroneous reports of what the film is about. “There’s been a lot of inaccurate information put out there,” Kelly said in an interview at Comic-Con International in San Diego. “You’re so close to something, you’re so deep, you lose objectivity sometimes. I’ve lost all objectivity, so if I even try to describe the plot right now I wouldn’t do it justice. … When you’re directing your own screenplay, sometimes there’s a shorthand, and you forget that you need to explain it to everyone. Otherwise they’re [confused].”

Kelly, best known for writing and directing the offbeat supernatural drama Donnie Darko, did eventually divulge some general details about the film, which stars Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Seann Willam Scott (The Dukes of Hazzard), Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (The Scorpion King) and Kevin Smith (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). “It’s set in the year 2008 over Fourth of July weekend,” Kelly said. “There’s a T.S. Eliot poem called The Hollow Men, where at the end of the poem, the last three lines are, ‘This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but … a whimper.’ A movie starring The Rock can’t end the world with a whimper. It needs to end with a bang. So that’s what the movie’s about.”

After years of preparation, Southland Tales is just four weeks away from shooting. Kelly said that one of the reasons the film took so long to go into production is because of the unusual sensibilities of his writing, which make his work difficult to categorize. “It’s stuff that doesn’t fit the parameters of what the studios are looking to do,” he said. “So it took a long time to push this through the system. If this one doesn’t make money I’ll just have to go and sell out and do something more commercial, because this has just been a bitch to get off the ground.”

Actress Jennifer Garner’s hometown of Charleston, West Virginia, threw a massive baby shower for the mother-to-be and husband Ben Affleck – but the couple won’t receive any of the gifts. Hundreds of present-bearing fans attended a West Virginia Power minor league baseball game last week for the “Jen and Ben Baby Shower Night.” Fans bearing the same first name as the pregnant actress and those who donated a gift were admitted free. But the gifts are not for the newly wed Daredevil co-stars, they are to be donated to the baby pantry for Starting Points, a non-profit group serving children and the families of children under the age of eight. Garner and Affleck did not attend.

Saturday, July 23, 2005 2 PM EST
Sunday, July 24, 2005 3 PM EST
Monday, July 25, 2005 2 AM EST
Tuesday, August 2, 2005 12 PM EST

U.S. Cyclist Lnce Armstrong is about to win his seventh straight Tour de France on Sunday before he retires from the sport. His story, of an amazing comeback from cancer, is certainly worthy of the big-screen treatment, and Armstrong tells Men’s Journal he has a possible candidate in mind to play him in a biopic.

“I’ve had the chance to get to know Matt Damon. He is a fan of cycling and has a connection to cancer. He has even expressed an interest in the role,” Armstrong said in the magazine.

SMITH MAKES TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO SAN DIEGO’S 2005 COMIC-CON

By MIKE LENGYEL
News Askew Writer

SAN DIEGO, California (NA) – July 16, 2005

“I do make movies… but I was wondering on how to get them in the hands of someone like you?” asks a young, aspiring indie filmmaker to writer/director, Kevin Smith. His query is quickly met by a barrage of collective sighs and beleaguered “boos” stemming from a mob of 6,500 displeased fans, who are more eager to hear Smith make with the funny, rather than cater to answer one’s own self-serving desperate plea at getting his foot in the door.

But rather than chastise the young man, Smith instead decides to take what appears to be the high road and quickly jumps to his defense, addressing the crowd. “Don’t ‘boo’ him. This dude’s got a dream.”

As the chorus of “boos” quickly subsides, Smith focuses his attention back onto the filmmaker and asks, “Are you willing to suck cock for your dream, sir?”

The room quickly erupts into laughter as the filmmaker is left standing at the microphone, face now slightly red with embarrassment and left looking somewhat disheartened, not quite sure of what to make from his hero’s response.

“We all got to start somewhere. You can start on your knees.” continues Smith.

And on that note, this year’s appearance proved to be a welcome return to form for Smith, whose humor and askewed look on life, love and pop culture tends to lend a refreshing breath of air in the midst of the mass-marketing, promotional synergy that is Comic-Con. After taking a year off from 2004’s Con, Smith continues to show that he’s a juggernaut of a performance artist whose comedic reign is one not to be reckoned with – especially when he’s fielding audience questions and answering them with hilarious results.

This year was no exception. Running a bit fashionably behind, Smith quickly opened up the floor to questions, often urging the audience not too waste precious time by clapping after each response.

During one point of the Q & A, Smith was discussing his opinions of Mel Gibson’s ‘PASSION OF THE CHRIST’ and his displeasure at watching a 2-hour long film depicting what he considers to be the least interesting part of Christ’s life and noting that he much more prefers Martin Scorsese’s ‘THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST’ instead. During this point, one dismayed audience member protested Smith’s views by shouting a verbal reminder to Smith that “Jesus died for our sins” several times over, all the while continuing to disrupt the Q & A in attempting to get his point across. At first Smith had difficulty making out his statement.

“Dude, I can’t hear you. Yell it out again.” Smith responded.

“He died for your sins!” the man cried out.

“He died for my sins…? Oh, I totally know that! I’m gonna die for his one day to pay him back!” Smith quickly shot back.

As the man continued his protest, Smith appeared slightly more agitated, however never losing his cool, or his audience.

“Dude, don’t testify. I love Jesus! I love him like… I love him more than you motherfucker!” Smith proudly boasted as he tried to get his point across, which was praised over with laughter from the crowd.

As Smith continued to explain, “My feeling is ‘I love Jesus,’ why would I want to watch a movie in which he gets beat up for 2 hours? Like I would like to watch something more about Christ’s life, you know, what he said and what he did up to that point.”

Later, in switching gears, when asked about the upcoming ‘CLERKS’ sequel, tentatively entitled, ‘THE PASSION OF THE CLERKS’, Smith revealed that a principal photography date of September 12th was set and the shooting would continue through mid-October with hopes that it will be out beginning early next year. Smith also then later went on to reveal that he will indeed be directing the ‘DEGRASSI’ feature next year after he completes ‘THE PASSION OF THE CLERKS’. And while his three episode ‘DEGRASSI – The Next Generation’ story arc is set to air in the states in August, Smith also stated that there will be a ‘JAY and SILENT BOB DO DEGRASSI’ DVD to be released in the fall (October/November) of which will include the three episodes, commentaries and extras alike.

In closing, Smith took the time to introduce fellow writer/director and friend, Richard Kelly, out onstage to discuss his much anticipated follow up to his cult hit, ‘DONNIE DARKO’, entitled ‘SOUTHLAND TALES’, with Smith adding, “which stars a bunch of fuckin’ people like… BUFFY, THE SCORPION KING and… SILENT BOB.” Smith also notes that in conjunction prior to the release of ‘SOUTHLAND TALES’, both he and fellow partner in crime, Bob Chapman of Graffiti Designs, have teamed up with Kelly to produce and publish a six book graphic novel that will serve as a prequel of sorts leading up to the film, which Kelly will also write, with all six books scheduled to be released later this year.

While tight-lipped about the film, Kelly did manage to mention that Smith’s involvement in the film will be playing a wheelchair-bound Iraqi war-vet named Simon Theory, while also stating that filming is scheduled to begin in four-weeks with other casting announcements to be made very soon. Smith also expressed excitement in the film by declaring Kelly’s screenplay in as much as “brilliant” and placing the script’s brilliance in the same league as that of ‘PULP FICTION’.

Kelly meanwhile also acknowledged that the DVD for ‘TALES’ is also in the works and promises “one big, massive, over-priced DVD” which should include a 2-hour documentary on the making of the film by the same team who produced the mock-‘DONNIE DARKO’ documentary which can be found on the recent Director’s Cut of the film on DVD.

Smith, ever being the ringmaster of his own three-ring-circus, made quick last words exiting the stage to remind fans that he has three upcoming DVD’s scheduled for release: ‘MALLRATS: 10th Anniversary’, ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB DO DEGRASSI’ and ‘AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH 2: EVENING HARDER’ all of which are due to be released just in time for the holidays.

© 2005 News Askew. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission.

1) Monday, January 5, 1998 – The first Vulgarthon is held.
2) Wednesday, May 31, 2000 – Clerks the Cartoon debuts on ABC.
3) Monday, July 7, 1997 – Drinks Askew becomes News Askew.
4) Tuesday, Febuary 17, 1998 – MTV airs the “Secret Stash” special for the first time.
5) Wednesday, February 27, 2002 – “Flying Car” airs for the first time

Iain McCreton, Martin Powton, Aaron Fraser, Simon Hudson, and Nikki Morton!