Let’s take a look back at the last 12 months, shall we? 2009: The Year In Askew, part one, is straight ahead.

January 2009

2009 kicked off in an uncharacteristically quiet, low key way. Kevin’s normally regular web presence continued to remain at low-key levels. Interviews and promotions for his latest comic, “Batman: Cacophony”, which he wrote, continued — longtime friend and fan favorite Walt Flanagan drew the book. However, it was obvious that this was a much more subdued press push than the past. We’d soon know why. Meanwhile, as the shrinking home video window continued, a February release date was already announced for “Porno”, which had just hit theaters at the end of October. The Bluray release would be day and date with the DVD, a first for a View Askew flick. Despite a lower than expected box office bow, the film would wind up on many “Best of 2008” lists which were revealed this month.

While Kevin wasn’t posting to the web and conducting as many regular interviews, the great SModcast would not be stopped. Episode #71 hit the webs in early January. Before the year was out, Kevin and Scott would hit a significant SMod milestone. By the end of the month, the guys would have recorded 3 more episodes for the web.

As the month continued, details began to surface for the “Zack and Miri” discs. Thankfully, View Askew would not let us down once again as far as extras go — The package would include a brand new documentary, a pile of deleted scenes, bloopers, and lots more. As Kevin and Scott had discussed the film at length on SModcast, for the first time, a View Askew DVD would not include an audio commentary track (though the extras would more than make up for the lack of one). Kevin made a rare post to explain his feelings on the commentary and how SModcast was an even better replacement. Our extensive review of the film details the greatness of the discs.



His first live appearance of the year took place in Hartford, laying groundwork for what would be the most significant year for Kevin’s stage show yet. Meanwhile, Smith made plans for a major event in Toronto for early February…

February 2009

February 2009 arrived with rave reviews for the “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” DVD. Critics and fans alike praised the film and the disc’s abundance of extras, some who had unfortunately discovered the film for the first time in their homes. Canadians were gifted with versions of the disc that featured exclusive “scratch and sniff” packaging.



While it had now been over 2 years since the last Vulgarthon film festival, Toronto celebrated their own mini-film fest of sorts in early February. With Kevin coming to town for a historic two-night appearance at the beloved Roy Thompson Hall, where every one of his gigs continually sells out, the Bloor Cinema tacked on a 3-night film festival following the appearances. Kevin appeared live for a Q&A session following each of the films, creating Canada’s own mini-Vulgarthon — a bright spot among their normally brutally cold winter. Audience reports raved that the appearances were among the best ever, with Jason Mewes making a rare onstage appearance alongside Kevin for most of the second night.

Kevin capped February with more live shows in New York and Ohio. At these shows, rumors began to circle on what his next project would be. Would it be “Red State”? “Ranger Danger”? Something new? It seemed that anything was possible, though Kevin’s immediate concern was getting out in front of the public, as his love for being onstage continued to blossom, as fans continued to pack seats to watch Kevin spend a few hours taking questions and entertaining crowds with one of the best impromptu shows in the land….A theme that would continue throughout the year. Until…

March 2009

In the most exciting, unexpected announcement of the year, March 2009 kicked off with a bombshell — Kevin had become a director for hire. But not just for any studio, and not just for any movie. Warner Brothers pictures signed Kevin to direct a major motion picture starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, titled “A Couple of Dicks”. The film was one of the great unpublished screenplays of 2008, so to see this script land in Kevin’s lap was a dialogue-lover’s dream. Full of raunchy, hilarious text, the script was the perfect fit for Kevin’s sensibilities. It would also mark the first time that Kevin would direct a feature film that was not from his own script. News agencies across the web picked up the news, and it appeared that we now had our main project/theme for 2009. This would be the year of “A Couple of Dicks”.

Within mere days of the announcement, rumors already started to circle that the title may change, to the more tame “A Couple of Cops”.

In mid-March, “Reaper”, a show with a pedigree similar to “Dicks” (Kevin directed, but did not write, the pilot episode), returned to the CW airwaves for a second season. While building on its mythology and critical acclaim, the program would not survive past its second-season finale.

In comic news, artist Walt Flanagan revealed that he and Kevin were working on a yet-to-be-titled follow-up project to the highly successful “Batman: Cacophony”. Before the year was out, we’d not only know its identity, but have quite a few issues on shelves to enjoy. Astute listeners to SModcast soon suggested that it had slipped that a “Batman” series was being written after the first series was already in the can, prompting us to speculate correctly that the next series would once again feature the caped crusader.

As March “marched” on, Kevin’s signing to direct “A Couple of Dicks” continued to generate quite a bit of press and speculation. In the middle of the month, though, another film briefly stole the spotlight — After a great deal of anticipation due to his praise of an early cut of the film, the world finally got to see “Watchmen”, one of the greatest graphic novels of all time, come to life on the big screen. And as one highly-anticipated geek movie debuted, one of the most beloved geek series of recent memory concluded — Sci Fi aired the final two hours of the incredible “Battlestar Galactica”, a show beloved to Kevin (who had the pleasure of making a set visit before everything was struck and boxed for good).

Around this time, when Kevin was in a particularly introspective mood, journalist Lee Stranhan scheduled what would become one of the most amazing sit-down interviews of his entire career. The interview, which was conducted earlier in the month, would feature the director discussing all aspects of his life and career in an even more open and honest way than ever before (a feat many thought not even possible for the already public Smith).

Since “Clerks”, hockey had always played a role in the films of View Askew. But in late March, Kevin laid groundwork to take his love of the game to a whole new level. After being touched by the story of Wayne Gretzky and his father Walter, Kevin mounted efforts to bring himself, fans, and friends to Brantford, Ontario for June’s Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Invitational. During an appearance in Vancouver, he also mentioned, for the first time, that he had an interest in making a hockey-themed film in the future.

By the end of March, SModcast, still rolling strong, had celebrated its 81st episode of free entertainment.

April 2009

It would become a buzzword on many reporter’s lists of the best of 2009. Twitter. Tweeting. While the service had been active for a few years prior to 2009, it wasn’t until this year that the mainstream embraced this service, burgeoned by the sudden celebrity love for the technology. By eliminating publicists, for the first time, celebs could use twitter as a direct line to their fans. By contrast, this was a practice that Kevin had adopted from early in his career with ViewAskew.com. Still, always being in the forefront of technology, Smith saw Twitter as yet another viable communication vehicle. Frequent use of the service started in early April, when Kevin trekked back to the east coast, where he would live for many months as production on “A Couple of Dicks” took place. The film would shoot in and around New York City, mostly on location.

Not ones to shy away from technology, News Askew also began tweeting our headlines and stories as well, giving readers yet another way to keep up with the latest.

Following a pre-production trip into NYC, Kevin jetted to Vail, Colorado, where he was presented with the Renegade Award at the Vail Film Festival, celebrating his entire body of work.

The good news continued, as Kevin made a weeklong visual clue game of one of the biggest announcements of the year: He would bring his beloved Q&A act to the stage of New York City’s prestigious Carnegie Hall in mid-June. To sweeten the announcement, it was also revealed that a new book would arrive in the Fall: “Shooting the Shit with Kevin Smith” would collect some of the best moments of SModcast in print form.

Hockey came back in a big way in April, when Kevin revealed he would be writing a new blog for the NHL to highlight the experience of watching the Devils in the playoffs. He’d also purchased a luxury box at Prudential’s center city Newark arena, The Rock, where he would entertain family and friends and introduce newcomers to the great game of ice hockey, with his beloved Jersey team.

May 2009

With the popularity of SModcast continuing on iTunes and Quick Stop Entertainment, Kevin and Scott decided to try an experiment – It was announced that the first LIVE SModcast would be held next month in Canada, the same weekend that the crew would be heading north for the Gretzky hockey tournament. Dubbed “Stocky Night in Canada”, the limited event would sell out in record time.

We also had a new date to add to calendars – Before film had started to roll on the movie, we had a tentative release date for “A Couple of Dicks” – February 26, 2010. Those brothers Warner sure don’t mess around.



By the middle of the month, Entertainment Weekly announced another newsworthy release — Kevin and Walt would indeed return with that speculated “Batman” series. This one, titled “The Widening Gyre” was already half completed with issue 1 set to debut in August. In addition to this expected news, it was also revealed that Kevin’s “Green Hornet” script ideas would see the light of day in comic form. A new miniseries would be on the way following the completion of “Gyre”.

Movie Trailers – Movies Blog

The month of big announcements continued when on May 14th, Kevin revealed to MTV that he wasn’t kidding around when he mentioned that hockey-themed movie idea in March. “Hit Somebody” would be the title of this one, based on a Warren Zevon song penned by author Mitch Albom. Following the announcement, quite a bit of articles on and by Kevin tied into the sport. It was apparent that hockey was on the brain, and in a very big way.

Followed by all the good news in May, a spot of bad news arrived on the 19th via Twitter – Star Ethan Suplee revealed that he and longtime-Askewer Jason Lee’s hilarious sitcom “My Name is Earl” had been cancelled by NBC. A glimmer of hope via a save by network TBS would come briefly before the official June cancellation announcement.

With filming getting close to rolling, May capped off with the announcement of two more cast members for “Dicks”: Seann William Scott and Adam Brody. By the end of May, the cast would have gathered for the first full read-through of the script.

June 2009



Production might have been starting on “A Couple of Dicks” as of June 2nd, but Kevin wasn’t going back to work behind the cameras without a gift to the fans — He and Scott presented SModcast #87 on the eve of the shoot. Due to the public nature of the on-location summer in New York City set, fans were quick to locate the cast and crew and snapped the first of what would be many looks at Willis, Morgan, and Smith in action.

Though filming had begun, Kevin wasn’t about to let that stop his hockey-themed weekend plans in Canada. Starting on June 6th, he and a large crew of friends and fans took to Brantford, Ontario for the Wayne Gretzky Hockey Tournament and the first live SModcast. The View Askew all-star team name? Puck U.



Then, on Saturday, the first ever live SModcast found Smith and Mosier on stage before a sold-out crowd of 1,100 where history was made.



On June 17th, we arrived at one of the biggest events of the year, and one of the most significant in Kevin’s life — Kevin took the stage to a sold out crowd in Carnegie Hall. Some of the world’s greatest performers have stepped onto that stage, and Kevin had now joined the ranks of a very elite few — Especially from the point of view that this was a one man show, where he’d single-handedly entertain the packed house for almost three full hours. News Askew was fortunate enough to witness this magical and historic event – One of Kevin’s finest performances of all-time.

While the first half of the year would have already celebrated a fairly busy, public schedule for Kevin as far as events, the next six months would set records, as Kevin announced a very aggressive Fall Tour schedule which would take him across the United States, to new cities, and abroad.

Finally, as June came to a close, more confirmed casting reports for “A Couple of Dicks” that built on an already impressive cast: Michele Trachtenberg, Kevin Pollak, and the great Jason Lee were all confirmed for supporting or cameo roles.

Join us later this week as we wrap it up, and cover the last 6 months of 2009. See you then.

Kevin Smith on why ‘A Couple of Dicks’ became ‘Cop Out’

The new trailer for the upcoming buddy cop comedy Cop Out just hit the internet, but anyone who had been following the project knows the film, out February 26, 2010, had long gone by a more distinctive title: A Couple of Dicks. Fortunately, the film has an even more distinctive director: Kevin Smith, the hilariously profane indie film hero (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Zack and Miri Make a Porno) making his debut as a director of a script he did not write himself. Smith was more than happy to give EW his frank perspective on how A Couple of Dicks became Cop Out in a nutshell, blame the networks.

Kevin Smith: Look, losing A Couple of Dicks was almost akin to losing my own dick. It was a perfect buddy-cop movie comedy title. Everyone knew it. You couldnt say that title to somebody without a fing smile crossing their face. But what I had gone through with Zack and Miri Make a Porno porno had become very problematic, it became tough for us to advertise [the film], blah blah blah. Warner Bros. decided, Hey man, well call the networks and see if were going to get any problems [with A Couple of Dicks as a title], months before the movies ever going to come out. The top 3 networks CBS, ABC, NBC said we cant run one of your spots before 9 oclock.

Im like, Well what about Inglourious Basterds? And I guess, because of the spelling, they got away with it. So we were like, Can we call it A Couple of D.I.C.s? Because thats the proper acronym for detectives, Detective In Charge. And [the networks] kicked that back as well. It was the pluralizing of any form of dick, whether it was d-i-c-k or any derivation.

So my feeling was like, its an R-rated movie, so who the f are we talking to anyway before 9 oclock? Warner Bross feeling was like, Hey man, the sports audience, dickhead. We have to advertise to the sports audience on Saturday and Sunday and all those sporting events usually take place before 9 p.m. in the evening. At which point, I was like, Oh wow, you guys are way smarter than me.

All credit due to Warner Bros., they tried really fing hard to score that title. It just came down to a point blank choice of run a campaign where youre not going to be able to advertise on the big three networks before 9 oclock, or run a campaign where there are no hindrances. I came from a world where you play the ball where it lays. [The studio execs] come from a world where theyre like, Well if we dont like where the ball lays, well just create a brand new golf green. If I hadnt gone through Zack and Miri Make a Porno, I think I would have gotten my old-school fing angry indie spirit, if you will: Fuck it, we live or die by A Couple of Dicks, or I take my name off the picture! But even my mom was like, I might go see Zack and Miri, but I would never go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I feel like Chief Brody in Jaws 2: Ive seen the shark up close. I aint going through that hell again.

And Ive got a lot of people online, on Twitter especially, going, Dont lose this fight! Dont let them change it! And its like, Dude, its not my call. All these people online seem to think I have the almighty juice. I got no juice. I made Jersey Girl. I cant pull any fing strings.

So for months now, theyve always had A Couple of Cops as kind of this fallback thing a placeholder, essentially. And then all of a sudden, one of the producers of the movie was like, Hey theyre locking the title, because the trailer is going to be put on Sherlock Holmes. And I was like, This is an abundance of wonderful and horrible information. I want to be on Sherlock Holmes because everyone on the planet will probably go see it on Christmas, but I dont want it to be A Couple of Cops. That just seems like we didnt even try! We went from a really clever title to the least clever title of all time. I was like, God that title is going to feel like such a fing cop out. And [the producer] goes, We should just call the movie that.

I liked it because it sounds like exactly what we set out to be: An 80s buddy cop movie, without sounding like Loaded Weapon, or some such s. But more importantly, to me, the title tells the story of what happened to our other title. I think its kind of ironic. Its win-win. For 100 percent of the potential audience for this movie, I would say 0.5 percent knows that we were once called A Couple of Dicks. After they read this article, maybe you could bump it up to 0.75 percent. The rest of the potential audience, they have no idea what this movie used to be called. For them it will always be Cop Out. Theyll just never know that there was that one magical moment where it was called A Couple of Dicks. We were making up sequel titles in our heads, dude. Like, you know, Two Bigger Dicks. Or Dicks 2: It Just Got Harder.

Somebody online said you could take Cop Out and vary it with like, Rock out with your Cop Out! Hopefully that will be a tagline on a poster or a trailer. And if it is, we owe that random dude on Twitter like at least a few free passes.

Scooper Kyle even managed a blurry camphone snap of the green-band “Cop Out” trailer in the can as it arrived at his local theater. We’ve given you a peek at that as well as some more screengrabs from the slick new trailer which has just arrived on the webs (see next story). Watch. Download. Repeat!

Synopsis – Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. Jimmy (Bruce Willis) is the veteran detective whose missing collectible is his only hope to pay for his daughter’s upcoming wedding, and Paul (Tracy Morgan) is his “partner-against-crime” whose preoccupation with his wife’s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball.

It’s a pre-holiday treat!!! Watch it over and over again, spread the word, and then catch the trailer on the big screen with “Sherlock Holmes” on Christmas. Holy cow…Kevin made a buddy action comedy with Bruce Willis! There’s evidence now! We love it.

“The joke here is not that Kevin’s character is called eBay. They speak in a South-German dialect and obviously Bruce has bought that Boba Fett cardboard cutout from Kevin on eBay and finally wants it. Kevin argues that it was a private auction but finally Bruce gets the upper hand when he tells him that he will give him bad rep on eBay if he doesn’t get his Boba Fett.”

Wow, talk about a different movie, eh?

“…That’s what weed taught me, too. I’d sit there going, Wait a second. All these things that people write on the Internet. And, again, they’re not all bad, but I used to gravitate towards it, because it’s, like, “Oh, what can I do to change this?” That’s the sad thing about that. You don’t pay attention to the people that actually like your stuff. You pay more attention to the ones who are trying to bring you down. You’re trying to win them over and shit. That’s just backwards and stupid.

But now, it’s just, like, they can say what they want and, honestly, they don’t take a fuckin’ dime out of my pocket, or piece of food off my table. Just because somebody fuckin’ rips me a new one cleverly online about one of my flicks, I don’t get laid one iota less. I still get laid. You sit there going, Wow, in the last 15 years, out of that 15 years, if you concentrated the time that I spent online trying to correct misconceptions about me, or when people write wrong shit. I never went after people for not liking the movies. That’s subjective, can’t do nothin’ about that, but going around correcting shit. I must have-concentrated time: two years, dude, two years of doing that online. Two years of my life–gone! I’ll never get back. As I’m fuckin’ cruisin’ toward the grave, believe me, I’m gonna be, like, “You piece of shit? I wasted so much time on you. I want those seconds back!” And, that’s a lot of seconds, dude, ’cause I used to do it a lot.”

…

“… I love ZACK AND MIRI. I mean, I think it turned out well, but I look at ZACK AND MIRI, and I look at CHASING AMY, and I go, Okay, two movies cut from similar cloth. What’s the difference? One is made with the passion and brio of somebody who is desperate to get their message across, desperate to communicate desperate to say, “If I don’t make this film, I’m gonna die.” And, the other one was made by a guy who was, like, “Well, that’s the movie I chose to do that year.” And, it’s just not the same thing. I mean, ZACK AND MIRI happened very easily, very quickly. Seth [Rogen] read it. He loved it. The Weinsteins are, like, “Great. We got Seth Rogen. Let’s make it.” It came together. The shooting went well, no fighting, everything was copacetic. But, there’s just not same, like…you know, for CHASING AMY, people were sleeping on couches, dude. We were stacked five men to an apartment and shit like that. That world is gone. That world produces something that I can’t bring back to this world. I can’t replicate the type of films I did.”

…

“A COUPLE OF DICKS-nobody’s gonna believe I directed this movie, because it looks so average. And, when I say ‘average’, I mean that in a good way, like, it looks like everybody else’s movie now. Back in the days, you’d look at my flick and you’d be, like, “Oh, that’s by the motherfucker who made CLERKS. You can tell, because it looks so terrible. His camera won’t move.” A COUPLE OF DICKS, man, it looks like 48 HOURS. It looks like BEVERLY HILLS COP, LETHAL WEAPON. And, I know some people are, like, “Great, your movie looks like an ’80s movie.” But, hey, I’m on a slow curve. What the fuck do you want from me?

You know, my film school has been in front of everybody. I’m not ashamed of that. I mean, I’ve been given this rarefied position, dude, where it’s, like, somebody handing me the golden ticket. Yeah, I made a fuckin’ indie flick like everybody else, and I was in the right place, right time, and Harvey Weinstein gave me a fuckin’ golden ticket, and forced me to become a personality by being, like, Get out there and talk about your fuckin’ movie, it ain’t got anybody else in it, so you become the front man. So, that forces you to become the front man. You’re out front and center, and here I am talking to you, talking to everybody about the flicks. And, you become something of a personality, and suddenly, you’ve got this amazing golden-ticket life, where you’re just like, “Wow, it keeps happening, over and over again. And, people like what we’ve done. And, some people fuckin’ can’t stand it, but some people absolutely dig it.” And, because of those people, you’re inspired to go on, and keep doing it, and shit like that.”

…

“…Like, you know, I did interviews in the beginning of my career, where I talked about, I think I have 10 movies in me. And, guess what, [HIT SOMEBODY]’s going to be Number Ten. So, I got to honor the superstition. Look, I’m not finding any fuckin’ money on RED STATE, because it’s so fuckin’ blatantly uncommercial and very, very marginal in terms of its subject matter. That money’s not forthcoming any time soon. And, so I concentrate on something where my heart actually is, so that there’s a fuckin’ chance, dude, a hope in hell that I can make something that has that fuckin’ fire and that passion in it that CLERKS had, that CHASING AMY had. I mean, it’s not…That didn’t come from desperation or not having the means. That just came from because I was so fuckin’ in love with the material, I was, like, I just gotta share this. If only people could see the world the way I see it, through this particular picture, man, they would get it. So, that’s where I am now, but I wouldn’t have gotten there back in the day, ’cause I was always the dude who was, like, “I write and direct my own stuff. I would never direct something that somebody else wrote or conceived or something like that.”

We had trouble finding clips to pull, the whole thing is just so good, it was tough to pick favorites above. If you’re liking what you’re seeing, be sure to do yourself a favor and head over to Aint It Cool News for the full piece. We’ll let you know as soon as Part Two is up. This is one of the best sit-downs with Kevin of the year. Don’t miss it.

Title aside, here’s the great news — The film seems to be testing through the roof. Normally, internet reviewers are pretty ruthless when they get a look at a film in the test process. For this one, the exciting tone we’re seeing is telling us that Kevin hit this one outta the park — “A Couple Of…” well, whatever…Should be cracking audiences up this February. Let’s take a look, first, at some clippage from the main review, which is likely getting a lot of looks at the popular Aint it Cool News website (as always, watch for the minor plot spoilers when you read this stuff) :

“…the movie ROCKED. The scenes with Stifler in the back of the car with Bruce and Tracy are fucking golden. I am going to keep this spoiler free but will mention a couple things which will prove to be memorable. We have Tracy dressed in a cellphone outfit while he is undercover which leads to the stock buddy-cop scene with Tracy and Bruce being shat on by their superior in his office for ruining an ongoing investigation. As they hand over their badge and gun the scene went from being a retread of EVERY Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop movie to completely kick-ass due to the outlandishness of Tracy STILL IN HIS CELL-PHONE OUTFIT during the whole scene. Oh, and he ends up on youtube stealing a kids bike in yes, you guessed, the cell-phone outfit.”

“…Kevin Smith has shown he can direct OPM (Other People’s Material) and still infuse his own wit. And he has nailed the tone and feel of the old-school cop movies we all grew up on.”

That last part is probably a blurb that we find accurate enough to fit any movie poster, newspaper ad, or DVD cover art to come. Much love there. Here’s a peek at something from our own News Askew inboxes of another fan who really dug the show:

“Was lucky enough to attend the test screening on the W.B. lot. Kev has really shown his directing chops, and this should prove without a doubt, that this fucker can direct action. Scenes that were in the movie that I know will be cut were filmed fantastically. I wish he had of gone through with The Green Hornet. But I think with the response of this film, “Hit Somebody” will come through in spades, and “Red State” will go off without a hitch now that funding is available.”

Finally, a reviewer over at Empire Movies simply reports, “It ROCKED”.

We sell ya yet? We know we’ll be there in line this February. It sure sounds like Kevin’s taken a funny script and kicked it up quite a few notches using his own keen comedic sensibilities and timing. We can’t wait.

“…We just did A Couple of Dicks here in the city all summer long, and there are more action sequences in it than anything I’ve ever done before. And those action sequences were like pulling f___ing teeth with me. You spend two days shooting storyboards and nobody is talking. That’s just not why I got into it.

The big ambition for me right now is a hockey movie. That will be a real test of visual storytelling skills. I mean, on A Couple of Dicks I think me and my DP Dave Klein definitely notched it up. I don’t think anybody’s going to believe I directed the movie, because it looks slick and good. I want to take what we learned there and bring it into the hockey flick, and that will have a lot of action. When you go to a live hockey game, it’s f___ing crazy. It’s the best sport you’ve ever seen — it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen. It goes beyond sports at some point and becomes this beautiful, poetic ballet, where dudes in costumes are skating, but it’s not the Ice Capades, and they’re hitting each other, and there’s an aim and a goal … I want to try and represent what it’s like to be there, watching the game, and so far that hasn’t really come across on film. We’re going to try it.

I think I’m ready for it. I’ve been doing this, I started in ’93, so like 16 years. You just get better at s___ the longer you do it, even if you start off being inept at it. You look at Clerks, that is inept filmmaking. That’s a guy that watched three Hal Hartley movies and four Jim Jarmusch movies and said I think I’m ready. I learned on the job.”

Don’t miss the entire Q&A at Techland.

The answer was apparent Friday night at the Warfield Theatre in San Francisco, where the event was like a fantasy camp – except instead of paying $15,000 to play basketball with Michael Jordan or hockey with Wayne Gretzky, fans paid closer to $50 to hang out with Smith for a few hours. Part behind-the-scenes Hollywood tell-all, part stand-up comedy and part Catholic confession, Smith combined storytelling, the Socratic method and moments that bordered on motivational speaking to entertain a grateful crowd.

Smith has had about 50 years worth of career in the past 15 years, starting with “Clerks,” a 1994 art-house hit that Smith made for $27,000. He writes comics, acts sporadically and practically invented the modern bromantic comedy, where the male-female romance takes a back seat to the platonic man love between heterosexual leads. As critics started to say he was irrelevant – director Judd Apatow arguably played Oprah to Smith’s Phil Donahue – Smith connected with his fans more than ever on the Internet. Among his recent experiments: an online marathon where he answered questions on Twitter for 24 hours straight.

The hard-core fans greeted Smith like a hero as he walked on stage in ankle-length jeans shorts (and later, a bathrobe), launching into a 10-minute story about a test screening of the critically panned “Jersey Girl” in San Francisco. After that, he answered questions from the audience for three hours straight, displaying the rare combination of politeness and raunchiness, with a lack of hubris that made him likable even when describing his own excrement in detail. It was a night of many tangents and a few slow parts, but it was always comfortable.

Check out the entire article over at their official site. Then, check the upcoming appearances list over there on your right and get yourself booked for Kevin’s next show in your town.

Kevin Smith

Past Form: Smith’s had one or two minor hosting gigs in the past, but where he’s really worked is in his live Q&As, where he takes questions from the audience. Rambling and hilarious, he has to be experienced to be believed.

Show Highlights: Like Parker and Stone, he’d need a swear button, but he could bring on some more famous friends – like Ben Affleck – to help out with the wattage of the night.

It would be the first ever Oscars where the host opens the event with a monologue entirely dedicated to A) anal fissures and B) anal sex with his wife. Wait Didn’t David Letterman do that already?

Sample Speech: “That’s why you’ll never see my name next to Scorsese, Woody Allen, and Spike Lee. Scorsese speaks a lot at NYU, and I’m damn skippy no one’s ever been like, ‘I’ll suck your d**k for five bucks!'”

Regarding the news, Kevin tweets: “It’s like hearing the house you grew up in has burned to the ground. I’ve now watched Miramax die twice. *sigh*”

10. Stinky BJ – MALLRATS

The actual awkwardness of this blow-job is left to our imagination as Brodie (Jason Lee) tells TS (Jeremy London) his girlfriend dumped him because he farted while she was going down on him. The epitome of dick & fart jokes