Dogma: When he’s not being kissed by Ben Affleck at the MTV awards,writer/director Kevin Smith is still trying to get his latest film sold to a distributor – and the conservatives are right behind him in hot pursuit. A Catholic group known as ‘America Needs Fatima’ have been posting flyers strenuously objecting to the movie (have any of them even seen it yet?) and urging people to send in complaints to Disney and the Weinstein brothers. While the cards do make one (and only one) good point – “Freedom of expression does not allow one to attack the rights of others”, their making a pretty big leap of logic to include comedic satire into that. One line it quotes from the film – “The nature of God and the Virgin Birth – those are leaps of faith. But believing a wife never humped her husband – that’s just gullibility”,is that an attack on rights? An insult or joke at the expense of ones beliefs possibly, but an all-out attack on their rights as an individual?. Anyway off my soapbox and back onto the news again and Smith, whose a devout and practicing Catholic if you didn’t know,stands behind his film in comments he gave to Newsday magazine: “When I heard [critics] calling me anti-Catholic I was so * * * and hurt,because, I thought, `Man, I’m doing your job. I’m out there talking up Christ.’ You read their literature and never does it say, `P.S., God bless you.’ It’s mean-spirited. I’ve read the Bible. Nowhere does Christ say, `Go out among the masses and kick – – – among anybody who doesn’t agree with Me”. Affleck also stands by the film telling ‘Entertainment Weekly’ that “It’s a rumination on faith and dick jokes.If you see the movie you understand the tone. It’s a fable. It’s a comic book”. Nevertheless, the ridiculous cries of censorship from right-wing parties sadly look like they’ll continue for quite some time yet, but whatever side of the fence your on over the issue, your opinion will likely be polarized by the excerpt below – the first draft of a disclaimer to air just before the start of the film. I’d like to thank ‘TVs Henry’, EW.Com and the great dudes at News Askew for their help.

“For those of you who are thinking about smiting us over this trifle of a film remember that that’s God’s job, and if the film is truly blasphemous, God himself will kill us and we’ll burn in hell. Thank you. Enjoy the show.”