To put it bluntly, they’re the first “Clerks” toys.

As Graphitti Designs moves full speed ahead with its 8-inch Big Blast toy line, expect heroes of a different sort to join the lineup. Following quickly on the hells of its Grendel, Kevin Matchstick (Mage) and Madman figures, this September Graphitti Designs add moviemaker/comic book writer Kevin Smith’s widely popular character Jay and Silent Bob (Smith’s own onscreen alter-ego) to its stable of action figures.

From their humble beginnings as brain-dead, comic-loving, layabout drug dealers in “Clerks,” and subsequent appearances in “Mallrats” and “Chasing Amy,” Jay and Silent Bob have enjoyed cult-fave status. They’ve been featured in movies, comic books (Oni Double Feature #1, as well as an upcoming Jay and Silent Bob mini-series), as well as 11 short films for MTV. When it came time to give them the action figure treatment, Smith turned to Grendel and Mage creator Matt Wagner for the designs. “I did the model sheets for them since I illustrated the Oni Double Feature story,” Wagner said. “Believe me, these figures are going to be just as rude as that story was. They’re really rude little toys, very in keeping with the characters.”

Graphitti Designs’ President Bob Chapman acknowledged that these action figures may not suit everyone’s tastes, but he looks forward to capturing the same spirit of fun the characters always provide in their films. “There are going to have the same edge that the film characters have,” Chapman said, citing accessories that include cigarettes, stash baggies, and beer, not to mention a dog with an…attribute…that’s so large it can’t stand on all four legs. “They’re not going to be entirely politically correct,” Chapman said. “They’re guaranteed to offend, but they’re going to be funnier than hell. Still, we may have to get the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund helping us here!”

Currently on the fast track for release in September 1998, the Jay and Silent Bob figures, each sold separately, will sport some unique features. First off, Graphitti is experimenting with voice chips, so each character should hopefully be able to speak. According to Chapman, “Jay will say things like ‘Snoochie Boochies’ and ‘Noonch!’ [traditional exclamations from Smith’s films], maybe five different things; Silent Bob tentatively will have a button on his back and say nothing at all. (laughter) It’ll be the Talking Silent Bob doll!” Graphitti also plans to making Jay’s T-shirt designs variant-friendly. “We’re going to have a variety of decals for the shirt,” Chapman said, “one that says ‘Chronic,’ one that says ‘All About the Clam,’ and one with a marijuana leaf. We’re trying to find the best way to do that so they’re removable and interchangeable.”

Each figure will also come with an interchangeable set of hands. Silent Bob’s removable hand will hold two distinct types of cigarettes, one legal, one not, while Jay’s hands will make a variety of gestures, from the mildly offensive to the profane. “When I first heard about that, I thought, ‘This is great, an action figure that can flip you off!” Chapman laughed. “Maybe that’s juvenile, but if so, I don’t care. I love it.”

Matt Wagner is very excited to see Jay and Silent Bob embraced by the public at large. “Kevin’s really struck a neat balance with these characters,” Wagner said. “They’re such lovable rogues, you love to hate them and you hate to love them. They’re very defiantly rude, yet the mainstream is willing to lay down its normal aversion to such stuff and really get a kick out of them.”

In a recent Wizard: The Comics Magazine interview, Kevin Smith said, “As soon as they do the Jay and Silent Bob action figures, then I know I’mfulfilled, I’ve lived the ultimte fanboy’s life. Once they make the action figures I can pretty much drop dead, it’s all complete.” We’re only guessing here, but it looks like, come September, Smith may want to recant that statement.